When you see adults throwing tantrums, it’s a clear sign of someone who hasn’t had their emotional needs met. They’ve learned that the only way they can protect themselves or get their needs met is through complaining, blaming, defensiveness, or agression.

Who out there has intense anxiety of being perceived, a strong inner critic, yet they push themselves to do things outside their comfort zone due to an automatic internal push?

If your partner has unresolved childhood trauma, how are they repeating unhealthy patterns with you?

Grieving the loss of someone who is still alive is hard. Spending your life waiting for someone to change so you can finally have the relationship with them you’ve always wanted is even harder.

There’s a Mexican movie called “Loving you hurts” and I believe it captures perfectly how many adult children feel about one or both of their parents.

“Loving you hurts” is the name of a Mexican movie and I believe it captures perfectly how many adult children feel about one or both of their parents.

Most times the wound of not feeling loved has very little to do with actually being loved in your adult relationships, and more to do with never learning what it meant to be loved in childhood.

It’s sad how many parents miss out on the opportunity to have a beautiful relationship with their adult children because they’re too afraid of being disrespected. Respect is born out of boundaries and love. Fear is born out of commands and expected obedience.

Notes from a Therapist on Attending Therapy: 1) You are not disappointing me if you are not ready to change. There’s a lot of growth that happens from the beginning of your journey until big patterns are broken. I celebrate every small win. Your growth isn’t dependent on the end result.

If you grew up as an independent kid, you likely need some softness and play as an adult. Lean in to it. Unlearn the pattern that life is about fixing issues and being strong.

Expect to fail. Expect to get things wrong. Expect things to be messy. I'm not sure why we still believe that learning a new skill or doing anything for the first time should start with perfection. The expectation that things should be perfect keeps us from ever trying or giving up the first time.

Those of us who were independent kids, surely need some softness as adults. I see you.

Just a reminder that the only people who think empathy is a weakness are narcissists.

Insomnia for many people is a result of not having a wake/sleep routine established since you were a kid. As silly as it may sound, building a sleep routine requires that you send yourself to bed the way you would do with a child. Re-parent yourself! You can have some fun with it as you do.

I learned patience by practicing staying with the discomfort and exercising self-restraint. I learned confidence by being more accepting of what I couldn’t change and giving more effort to the things I could. I learned boundaries by understanding my needs and improving my communication.

I hope you understand the goal isn’t for you to achieve perfection. Perfection is often the ruler which with you measure your progress and it is impacting your ability to see your growth.

If you have a “bad kid”, just know that your parenting style isn’t what they need and your kid feels completely misunderstood. Being “bad” is their way of letting you know something is misaligned. Same thing if you were the “bad kid” growing up.

Just because an experience doesn’t feel painful, doesn’t mean it should not feel painful. Many times we learned to normalize or minimize hurtful behaviors in relationships because it was how we adapted in order for experiences not to hurt that deep.

I low-key miss those times when we weren’t all in echo chambers being exposed only to people with similar opinions and thought our group was the most informed. Having conversations with people who believe they know it all is exhausting and I bet they feel the same way about me.

“I need to speak to you” without further context will almost always make my heart skip a beat. Just tell me what you need, please 😮‍💨.

Childhood Wounds Impact Our Relational Ability to: - Know what we need - Communicate what we need - Receive what we need - Respond appropriately when something feels wrong - See the experience of the other clearly without our own biases

I used to think people who stayed in long term marriages were willing to try the hardest; until I understood that many of them stay because they normalized unhealthy relational dynamics, and normalized the same dynamics in their marriages too.

I’m a full grown adult who has done a ton of work on herself and I still feel like I’m in trouble for no reason. Just a reminder that childhood wounds run deep.

I want to thank my 33 followers for being here! ♥️ I don’t post as often, but trying to navigate how to connect with people interested in mental health content. If you are a mental health creator, comment so I can follow!

“They told you love was the answer, but they never showed you what love was” - Author Unknown

I don't believe jealousy exists. Let me explain. I believe jealousy as an emotion exists, but not as an umbrella term that explains every experience when this emotions is present. If you have experienced jealousy in a romantic relationship, let me break it down for you as I do with my clients.

My son asked me if I had ever written a diary because he thought it would be interesting to know what I think about because I seem to have pretty interesting thoughts… and I have to say I never do get bored in my thoughts.

If anger is your default emotion, you have unresolved trauma. Period.

Have you asked yourself if you even like the people you are trying so hard to please? Have you ever asked yourself if you even care about the people from who you seek approval?

Have you even asked yourself if you even like the people you are trying so hard to please?

I was ordering Bratwurst at a Christmas Market with my husband and son and my husband told my son “we can’t pick currywurst”, my son asked him “why can’t we pick that one?” to which my husband responded, “that’s the one your mom liked the least last time”.

When I distance myself from someone, it is not with the goal of teaching them a lesson. It is because I have learned mine. - author unknown

While “everyone is doing their best” is untrue, everyone, in fact, shows up the way they can with the knowledge and tools they have.

10 Generational Cycles of Trauma disguised as Culture: 1. Hitting/ yelling at children 2. Enmeshment labeled as family closeness 3. Normalized infidelity in men 4. Machismo 5. Submissiveness in women

Heal so you don't spend your life trying to meet all your unmet childhood needs in adult relationships, then resent everyone who can't show up the way you need.

Some people convince themselves that they are showing love to others by putting them first, prioritizing and anticipating their needs, and doing everything in their power to please them. That’s not love. That’s self abandonment. Especially when you don’t feel worthy of the same.

I've worked with hundreds of people in relationships where they feel unloved and the most common problems I see are: 1)They believe they can teach their partner to love them 2)They convince themselves to stay hoping the relationship will change Here's a list of what I share with them in therapy ->

One of the biggest relationship problems is believing you have to teach people how to love you, instead of learning what it feels to be loved. So many people spend a lifetime asking a person to love them the way they need, instead of recognizing it won't happen and learning to walk away.

I don’t know how else to tell you this, but if you have a bad memory it is easier to be manipulated and gaslighted in relationships.