Quick reminder that this is a parody account and complaining to me isn't going to get your packages delivered faster. Now that I think about it, complaining to the real Royal Mail won't do anything of substance so crack on.

Just a friendly reminder that: Royal Mail could not give less of a shit about you, your mail or the services they provide you. 1/3 of royal mail first class mail isn't delivered on time. Use ANY other service and your post might actually arrive.

Royal Mail is a big enough joke without my help

i could probably win in a boxing match versus any royal mail employee

The real royal mail wouldn't dare show their face here, cowards. I'm the stronger Royal Mail in every regard.

Have you considered that maybe our drivers have better things to do than their jobs? People are so selfish these days.

Don't even bother using our services! We will lose your package! We will not tell you we lost your package! We are genuinely the most useless service around so good luck getting anything from us! And remember we don't give a fuck about you!

Royal Mail is meant to deliver at least 93% of first class mail within one working day, and 98.5% of second class post within three working days. However, in the year to the end of March it missed both targets, reaching figures of just 74.7% and 92.7% respectively.

Thanks for visiting us Matt, normally we don't allow ex-pigs in our offices but we made a special exception for you! #freepalestine #acab

A great advert for Royal Mail!

We hope to ruin Christmas for children all across the UK this year ♥️

You may have noticed your package was delivered today - this was a mistake and we assure you that your future deliveries will be as stressful and delayed as possible. Fuck you.

Busy day today! We've managed to deliver 4 packages and at least one of them went to the correct address! If you have any concerns or queries, go fuck yourself.

Sorry we couldn't deliver your package today - we really couldn't be fucked to do it. Maybe we'll deliver tomorrow? Probably not we're gonna be snorting ket in our vans #godsavetheking