No shade this may very well be some Mandela Effect going on but I swear Chris Rea died like 15 years ago 😓😫

The cleaners after seeing my bottles of SPF30 & swim shorts like chile it's 11 degrees, where do you think you were flying to? 😫😓😅

Made it to my hotel very late last night so I’m knackered, however waking up to this view.. 🤗🥲🌅

The ‘Out of Office’ is on for 2025. 16 day weekend here we come!! 🥲😅🥳

Today’s mood.. 🥲😮‍💨

When are we having a public enquiry to determine how & when a 5p plastic carrier bag charge became having to pay 40p for paper bags in a country that rains 432 days a year (because we all collectively kind of just went along with it..)? 🤨😮‍💨😓

Only 2 more days of work, Only 2 more days of work, Only 2 more days of work… 😓😮‍💨😫

Today’s choice of clothing is so mismatched that I am truly a disgrace to our community. Someone call Jonathan I beg 😭😂🫣😓

Whenever you need a reminder of how thoroughly joyless a nation we are, just read the comments section of a positive news story involving billions in investment & the prospect of people one day having a fun time.. 😮‍💨😒😑😂

As wicked, cruel & evil this world can be of late we must take some solace in the fact that we are no longer subjected to further LadBaby Christmas songs.. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Once again find myself thoroughly bemused at the behaviour of guys who you allow to follow you, are then straight in the DMs & get pissy because you didn’t stop in your tracks to give them your undivided attention within 15 minutes & then block you 😂 - let’s all be the adults that we are, hey? 😒

Wake up tired, set off for work in the rain, get pissed off with obnoxious commuters on their phones, go to work to be overwhelmed for 10 hours, get pissed off with obnoxious commuters on their phones, walk home in the rain, scream into a pillow. Repeat..

Quote this with your four best pics of 2025 ..with every year that passes I have increasingly fewer angles for capturing a half respectable selfie 😫😓😅👴🏻🤳

Fuck me, that felt amazing! 🫦😈🥵

Forecast is still abysmal for next weekend 😫😭 let me be dry for one holiday, I beg 😔😟

Not that I was there but Adam Rickitt, you frequent the queer spaces for as long as you want (& your good lady wife allows) ‘cos that body has been worked on & deserves to be thirsted over & to earn you some coin, hen..👍🏻👌🏻😅 I was always more Team Todd but I will fall for the problematic ones.. 😓😫😅

My algorithms are now all “BUY THESE SOAP GIFTS!!” & I didn’t even search for soap gifts & have no intention of spending £30-£40 on boujee soap gifts so stop coming for me with the soap gifts!! - the relentless joy that is Christmas.. 😫😓😅😅😅

You want to blast out your diabolical biblical nonsense on full volume on the morning commute, hen? Well lemme just blast out some atheist clapback, because my phone can go even louder 😒😆 we’re fighting fire with fire today folk, because I cannot be arsed with the daily shenanigans..

Thinking maybe I should set up cameras in my bedroom & I may become TikTok famous (like that sleepwalking woman) ‘cos last night I found myself addressing a room full of people on stage to then wake up stood in front of my mirror 😆😫😓 I am constantly tired because my dreams are always so full on 😭😂

A little Timelapse from the office window yesterday.. ☁️🏗️✈️☁️ #Manchester

I’m just not ready to be in my 40’s, it’s just so cruel & unfair. I have so much unspent youth that was saved up & now I’m too old & the moment passed 😓😭

Manchester’s venues & the mass transit infrastructure that serves them..😑😮‍💨😫😒

December is the worst month of the year in adulthood - I said what I said 😓😫😅 it’s just double the amount to do in 3/4 of the time & being constantly stressed in the process (all whilst being told to enjoy yourself)

Did my Skircle.. 👉👈🥲

Just pulled out my vintage Tesco ‘6.5ft Luxury Alpine Snow Tree’ for another year in preparation to celebrate Alpinemass & the joyful birth of the baby McAlpine (I’m not too sure what it’s for actually the box never said - god damn you, Tesco heathens!)

I had a very drunk woman glaring at me on my way home from Manchester & I just know her view of me was this.. 👁️👁️👄👁️👄👄👁️👁️👁️ 😫😓😅

Commuting just really sets you up for the day - there’s just no greater mood boost than enduring someone scrolling TikTok on full volume at 7am to give you that joie de vivre feeling before walking into the office..

Is there some fad or trend going around that I’m too old to know about that is encouraging people to get under your feet? Genuine question 😫😑 It cannot be this common for people to be walking towards you on an empty path & then suddenly veer diagonally into you at the very last minute..

Sometimes I’ll do a little shake & a shimmy with my pants down in the office WC mirror, just to see if whoever is on reception smirks when I’m on my way home & then I know this place is wired..

Off to see Wicked: For Good (as all we 🚬 must do) to which I wanted to post the clip of Alexis Michelle’s Liza, but then I forget Bluesky (for all its joys) cannot handle the prospect of uploading a 6 second clip.. 😮‍💨😫

Not the best pictures as through the window & the sun glare, however they’ve started adding cladding to the St Michael’s tower in Manchester & it is looking amazing - definitely a new age instant landmark for the city 🤓😃

My phone hasn’t been working for two days after it decided to do an iOS update.. luckily nobody has noticed and tried to message me..

Booked a few nights away the weekend before Christmas. First ever solo holiday abroad 😬🫣😅 Wasn’t brave enough to book over Christmas Day itself, but hopefully it will help me relax & have some much needed me time before dealing with another family Christmas.. 🥲😎

Posting a pic on Bluesky is like representing the UK at Eurovision 😓😭😫😅 you always hope to clock up a couple of likes but chances are you’re being left on zero..

Been in the office for 11 hours, rushing home to carry on working til fuck knows when.. wet through, knackered & thoroughly had enough of this week - just want my bed.. 😭😭😭

Me sending solicited d pics in my salad days.. 😅🥲😫

Has anyone been on a solo holiday over Xmas Day before? The prospect of being with family is already giving me anxiety & I just need to remove myself from the situation. Anyone any recommendations or words of advice against it? Worried I’ll regret it if I do it, worried I’ll regret it if I don’t 😓😅

One thing that always humours me about the workplace is it’s always those coworkers who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire who are always the first to be dipping their hands in any birthday / holiday treats you bring in for everyone 😂😂😂

I mean perhaps a little premature to say but one week into my 40’s & I am truly embracing a more “no fucks given” attitude when it comes to sugar coating my feelings to make it easier for people to swallow.. 😏😮‍💨😑😅

Happy Hoopla 2026 Line Up Day to all who celebrate 🫣😬😬🥳

Turning the big 4-0 by playing with some of the lovely elephants at Phang Nga Elephant Park 🐘🇹🇭

After spending the entire day yesterday up in the air, we are now at our Thai jungle paradise for the week 🥱😴🥲🤗

If I were to describe how I feel today I’d have to say, you know Daryl Hannah in ‘Splash’ after Levy lobbed her in a fish tank & she’s all tattered & shit.. that, that’s how I’m feeling rn.. 😓😂

My undies have completely fallen apart this morning 😭😫 I might as well have not bothered putting any on. Much like my menty b they were simply too frayed to last the entire day 🥲😅😫

Dare to go outside for a couple of hours in an evening & end up with some drunken gammon falling asleep on me on the way home (on a near empty bus) 😓😫😑 took several attempts to wake him up & then he decided to follow me home. I do not have the energy or patience for the shenanigans.. 😮‍💨😒

Funny how the clocks only go back an hour yet the weather jumps ahead 3 fucking months 😭😓😫 it’s going to be a long winter, gals.. 😞😰

Shite day at work & now coming down with man flu. Get me to the weekend, stat! 🫩🤧😫

Pissed off seeing how many people are laughing on social media at people losing their jobs & not being paid, simply because it’s Pride related. Mustn’t engage with the intellectually challenged (who probably don’t know a day’s work themselves)..

8 years ago 🥲👴🏻 - on Brother of the Bride duties (whilst also getting the album cover for my Rat Pack debut record..😆).