Happy New Year name tags! I remain an existential threat to Alberta and the human race! May I come to my senses and call an election! #abpoli #ableg #abvote

Annnnd…now I’m coming for immigrants…you immigrants built my Electrical grid and you do the jobs Albertans can’t and won’t do which saves our province and our economy… now get the f—k out!

Authoritarian, populist dictators DO NOT submit to opportunities for candid, transparent conversation and engagement with media. Regretfully I must decline 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dear Constituents of @CityofBrooks @MedicineHatNews. You people stink! Fact check: The Electoral Boundaries Commission has drawn a new ward. High River - Vulcan. When my #YouSeePee approves the changes, I’ll be running in my own Town. I only need you “piss-ants” for two more years..if that. #abpoli

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Great News for the Athabasca River indeed! ACID RAIN BABY! I’m bringing it back! 👊🏼

Today marks the 4th time in Alberta history that me and my You See Pee invoked the notwithstanding clause because I know my laws are unconstitutional. In other news, my recall petition was approved today so get after it constituents of Brooks - Medicine Hat! Save u”Albertans from me!

I won’t stand for this. I WILL enact legislation to nullify recall petitions and indemnify myself from democratic justice! You people stink btw! What did I ever do to YOU? 🤷🏻‍♀️PLEASE, leave comments below! #abpoli #ableg

Immensely complex? NoNo… My UCP’s Bill 14 is the most draconian, totalitarian piece of legislation EVER! I tore a page right out of Vladimir Putin’s anti-democratic playbook! If you lawfully play by the rules to oppose me, I will simply change the rules! I am not a Conservative #Wildrose

Yeah I can’t do this. We don’t use guns to defend our property in Canada…maybe Alberta Sovereignty within a Divided U.S.A

My sister from another mister! Irradiated diseases…I am bringing them BACK to Berta! #abpoli PS it’s not over til I say it’s over re: #chemtrails

Today my UCP Minister Firecrotch introduced Bill 13 “Jordon Peterson Law” Listen, if I’m going to go Bat-Shit, I’m going all the way! 👊🏻 #FloodingTheZone #Abpoli globalnews.ca/news/1153627...

These kind people are👇 who Nicolaides wants to intimidate because we don’t want to listen to his lies anymore. Listen 🎧 to the end of this where Nicolaides threatens to attend our upcoming events. 1/2 www.cbc.ca/player/play/...

If passed? lol. When passed! Authoritarian Dictatorship. How are you not getting this? #NotwithstandingNumberTwo #RhymesWithPunt

She said she’s sorry. What more do you want? You need to stop inundating my UCP MLA’s with all your constituent feedback. All we did was revoke s.2 Fundamental Chartered Rights & Freedoms from 51,000 Albertans🤷🏻‍♀️ Notwithstanding this lil’ hiccup, we’re doin’ it all over again this week. Get over it!

Losing Measles Elimination status in Alberta is concerning. We should have lost this status long ago under my leadership I urge my supporters to continue circulating lies and misinformation. Together, we can “un” eradicate diseases and reverse ALL efforts to reduce global infection! #StrongandFree

Spanky, you have no lines in this play Angela Pitt, on the other hand, peeked into her boxer shorts and found a pair! “Using a taxpayer funded position of authority (we’re listening) to advance a politically motivated campaign (umm go on) raises concerns about the potential inappropriateness…” 🤔

Let’s be clear! Judges are not elected officials. Who are they to make legal decisions? That’s not democracy Only(UCP)elected officials make laws. And when Recall Initiatives jeopardize UCP elected officials, then I will amend those laws so you can’t practise democracy. Wait wot did I say?🤔 #abpoli

That…that’s exactly right. I totally connected the dots on this one. #HitTheMonkeyWinACookie globalnews.ca/news/1151333...

People are standing along the back wall in this full-to-capacity #1 Legion Hall. Calgarians aren't happy about paying cleanup of oil, gas & coal companies' mess. @naheednenshi.bsky.social @albertawilderness.bsky.social @markdorin.bsky.social @daniellesmithab.bsky.social @albertaenergy.bsky.social

Ho Li Shit We’re losing them www.ctvnews.ca/politics/art...

In every way, the Alberta Government is failing us. In every single way. #RecallThemAll #TotalRecall

My YouSeePee Government has added the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms to Alberta’s list of banned literature! #UngerReview #Outstanding www.ungerreview.com/danielle-smi...

👀 #HidingintheMiddleEast #HidinginSaudiArabia #HidinginAUE #IamACoward

C an’t U understand the anger N otwithstanding T eachers might quit on me One more thing… Democracy is dead in Alberta! #ableg #abpoli

Dang it! These are the days I wish me and Dave bought a food truck instead of a train restaurant. But hey… at least I was able to sell some Tin Foil hats using the protective seal from my Turkish Tylenol leftovers. #SepartistRally #FlatEarthConvention #AbLeg #YouSeePee #Freedumb

BREAKING: UCP RED TAPE REDUCTION IS WORKING! The results are in! Phoebe the dog earns AGLC Proserve certification. K-9 now licensed to serve liquor in Alberta. Right then. #StrongAndFree #UCP #Ableg #abpoli #CEOKandiceMachadoAGLC #DirectorRobertPapeAGLC www.ctvnews.ca/calgary/arti...

Fine I’ll go back to making license plates. I sense this is a skill I should learn

As UCP Leader & Your Premier, here is my official response to Albertan’s vocal criticism accusing me of politicalizing a government issued License Plate with UCP marketing slogans: “Yah I’m just not seeing it” globalnews.ca/news/1147987...

@daniellesmithab.bsky.social @calgaryherald.com

Dear PM @mark-carney.bsky.social 1. I said a wanna pipeline from AB to BC 2. Coastal First Nations? Who dat? 3. Your Major Projects Office accepts formal proposals to review for fast track. I DON’T EVEN HAVE A WRITTEN PROPOSAL but I did announce I’m gonna spend $15M to draft one 5. SO…SAY YES🤷🏻‍♀️

So if it's Canada's coast and not BC coast, is it Canadian oil and not Alberta oil? @daniellesmithab.bsky.social @davidebybc.bsky.social www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

Plus on Monday I was in Montreal, QUEBEC…this being the 1st day of the historic ALBERTA Teacher’s Strike. Why would I stay here and be a leader? 🤷🏻‍♀️ While I’m here, I should ask the business community what ‘talks of Separation’ did for Montreal’s economy…or what’s left of it #abpoli #ABteacherstrike

Fuck it. I’m going to the zoo #Abpoli #UCP #TeachersStrike #IRespondwithPolarBearPic

The answer is an unequivocal YES! YES today I announced plans to build an “excuse me” bitumen pipeline from AB oil sands straight through to the B.C. coast YES I can confirm private industry is NOT on board YES I am out of my fucking mind! #abpoli #climatejustice www.alberta.ca/release.cfm?...

Truth and Reconciliation Sept 30th: Just a quick note to self cause sometimes I forget to reconcile And if you still don’t believe that I have Indigenous roots, then @aptnnews.bsky.social might have their story straight. Reconciliation begins with truth I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ www.aptnnews.ca/national-new...

Minister Nate Horner: “I encourage ATA’s leadership to take time to meet with their members and gain clarity on what teachers are seeking out of a deal. Students and families deserve stability” GAIN CLARITY? I think Teachers just told us to go f—k ourselves! That clear enough for ya Nate? #abEd

I’d like to get me one of these remotes! Can I get a “notwithstanding clause” button on mine plz? #abpoli www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

ANNOUNCEMENT: In my commitment to deliberately cause harm while ostracizing & violating the personal privacy of ALL legal, Canadian permanent residents residing in Alberta, my government has rolled out our new #UCP Tramp Stamp on your Driver’s License ID ! You like? www.ctvnews.ca/calgary/arti...

BREAKING! Prime Minister Carney announced first projects to be reviewed by new Major Projects Office to fast track nation building projects! AND GUESS WHAT! Alberta failed to make the cut! My UCP didn’t have a plan and my big mouth failed to get us across the finish line! Whoops 🤷🏻‍♀️ t.co/2qhuu732I9

ALBERTA’S TEACHERS STRIKE NOTICE TO TAKE EFFECT OCTOBER 6th ??? Huh. This makes me think Alberta teachers are serious about this. 🤔 #abpoli #ableg www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

OMG! Canadian Author @margaretatwood.bsky.social just gave a shout out to me (Rob Anderson) and my Alberta #UCP. Oh Margie you’re such a kidder! We aren’t burning books. We are just banning books silly 🤪 But if we were burning them, we will not pay the pollution tax on the emissions 👊 #abpoli

The UCP polled Albertans to receive feedback on our proposed Alberta Provincial Police. Analogous to our Alberta Pension Plan proposal, we received overwhelmingly disapproval! Soooo…I did it anyway. This is one example why my spending is out of control. Fuck me! www.keepalbertarcmp.ca/get-involved/

The FACT is my Chief of Staff (aka APP Braintrust) supports this populist, anti-covid-vaccine movement! I even secretly think cancer can be cured by chewing raw peppers! In FACT, if you trace my words back, I suggested that if you have stage 4 cancer, you can control it! www.cbc.ca/player/play/...

My boy Bruce! We ran together in our Wildrose daze! Today, we are narrating rhetoric resoundingly similar to discussions prior to Nazi Germany. PS Bruce is a little rusty at the podium…he forgets that he’s not supposed to act like a “5 year old” child when Albertans bring truth #AlbertNextPanel

NEXT STEP in my PIPE DREAM! I’m accepting proposals for a feasibility study to build my east-west pipeline Since it’s NOT FEASIBLE, I’m going to spend hundreds of millions of dollars anyway to make you believe that it could be. Why? Because I’m immoral & I lie! www.alberta.ca/release.cfm?...

My 🇺🇸 Mar-a-Lago BFF has shut down PBS for good! Stupid Netflix saved Big Bird & the rest of the Sesame Street gang though. Otherwise it would’ve been a pure win for us Libertarians! Nothing good comes from non-partisan public broadcasting…especially educational programming🙄 cpb.org/pressroom/Co...

ENOUGH! I’m the only one who is allowed to narrate false headlines and lie to the general public. You owe me an apology! #abpoli