I'm gonna need to legally start my own business to pass coleg at this rate, damn

I want hrt more and more. This might be the thing that will finally make me less shy about advertising myself. With each passing day that "wants" turns into more of a "need", I REALLY need that money

I'd say grades don't matter to me usually but not this time. I WANT to make something cool. I WANT to make a full ass game when all I need is just a kinda functional shell of a basic business app. I wanna shine like never before. I wanna cook. 100% for everything is the goal

I am SO LOCKED IN. I understand so much more about what I need to do for the assignments. I will code the best code I've ever coded in my life. I will try to not get too crazy with the scope. I will try to play it smart and when I'm done I will be a bit closer to making the game I always dreamed of

I am trying to sleep but I can't because hunger. I want to eat something crazy unhealthy so much rn

Someone please fill me up with estrogen

Stupid coding stupid learning why does it throw random errors on the school website but doesn't throw any on my computer so I can't troubleshoot nightmare nightmare nightmare bad java bad evil bad java

Stevincible. #StevenUniverse #invincible

Custom RLCraft configuration is kicking my bucheeks so I'm gonna relax by drawing muscles, something I don't know how to do (what could go wrong :3) www.twitch.tv/gingerjellus #vtuber #envtuber #art #artstream

When I feel bad I sometimes think about all the friends I've made and every bit of support they've shown me. Shockingly thinking about the moments when people you care about clearly showed they value you can help a little when you feel completely useless, helpless and unwanted

RLCraft will return tomorrow. I hope I'll figure out the tiny tweaks I want to do by then :3

I don't think I feel better. I just learned to distract myself enough to not have the time to feel bad

Died many times, lost every world, made a cute house, died right after finishing the first floor because I tried to pick up a flower and got two-shot by a skeleton with musical aspirations. Decent experience

Anyone wanna hang out a lil 👉👈 www.twitch.tv/gingerjellus #envtuber #vtuber #stream #pngtuber #minecraft

Wanted to start stream early, ended up doing exactly not that

Traveling to code in the lands of grass. Will this help me succeed? No clue but at least I'll be a bit hotter. Bit by bit, day by day

Dear body, Uh... You do... You do realize you can sleep for more than 5 hours, right? We don't need to wake up early, we don't need to wake up at any specific hour, we can just sleep till we feel rested. Please remember that. Yours tiredly, The consciousness that's both wide awake and sleepy.

Don't mind me, just casually deciding to clicker train myself tomorrow

It's ok Jelly, you don't need to commit to those numbers, you can adjust them if you can't keep up. Stop thinking in absolutes for once, you won't get it right the first time. Just try and adapt. That's it.

The worst thing about being THIS insecure is that I am literally so easy to manipulate. It's a miracle that no one abused this yet. Well, someone may have, might even be doing it right now, and I wouldn't know

Friends are amazing. I'm happy that I get to friend around with them

My stomach is giga empty. I think I forgor to eat

I look back and the closest thing to cutting someone off was just not initiating the conversation with them anymore. They're not banned, we didn't have an argument, nothing really happened. They just never bothered to talk to me again

I'm friends unconditionally. You may not see me as a friend and I will still see you as mine. You can hate me and I will still consider you a friend. Unless you cause problems for my other friends I will be there for you forever. It may not be the healthiest but it is who I am

It doesn't even feel like I'm in control of my own life. Can't stop the vehicle, can't slow down, just dodging obstacles to prolong the inevitable. That's all my existence is.

When I look back at today will I go "I've come so far, I didn't give up, it felt so hopeless but somehow I finally made it" or is this gonna be another one of the "So much time passed and nothing has changed"

I need more spite in life. Hope just doesn't cut it anymore...

My computer is alive once more and likely won't burn itself for the next few years

You ever sit down one evening and have to rewire half your computer because your magical energy cube is on the verge of changing thunderbolt into a flamethrower?

Still nowhere

I need an identity

Feeling shitty is just another state I need to learn to control. Everything's gonna go great. When nothing feels fun working is a good distraction. Maybe I'll finally do something that anyone cares about?

Are we even friends? I know they're my friends but am I theirs?

Sad ghost

It's weird. I feel awful. Like, I don't think I've felt this bad mentally in months. It makes me wanna code for some reason. Helps me focus. Nothing brings joy but this at least distracts the mind... Turns out all I needed all this time to lock in was to let the bad thoughts spiral...

How do I talk to friends about feelings without making it weird?

Can everyone leave this fucking house for a day so I can cry myself to sleep for once?

Post minecraft crash finally caught up to me, straight up want to die. Was supposed to be a week of minecraft and a week of working on stuff but I don't even feel like getting up now

I will put my land to ruin, I will build my house anew. The swamp will burn to ashes, from the flames an empire of stone and brick will rise

Streaming some modded minecraft, finally returning to my base!!

Guess who finally sat down and properly set up vgen, I AM DISCOVERABLE NOW!!!!!!!! check out me portfolio :3 vgen.co/GingerJelly/...

Thanks for the stream! Guess who made some Miku? Also if anyone wants a minecraft skin uhhh... you know 👉👈 vgen.co/GingerJelly

Chat we are sooo back, time to make minecraft skins crazy style twitch.tv/gingerjellus

I will eat food (peak chicken) and afterwards I will stream making some Miku minecraft skins till someone commissions me (need money :3)

Patience is a virtue And all know it true Unless when the feeling Is aimed back at you

I will do it soon and everything will work

I'd be all "I'm sorry but I need to take a break from streaming for a week" but, like, not sure anyone that somehow finds this message even knows I'm back to streaming lmao

I will be hot one day.

It's not working nothing is working my head refuses

Someone please see value in me, I just want what I make to be worth anything