National treasure, world class athlete and absolute 10/10, Keeley Hodgkinson on my train here.

Mental new building by Kings Cross

Always suspected Andy Robertson was actually a decent bloke and had a grudging respect for him. Definitely the one of theirs I'd have most liked to play for us, of recent times.

Hope Stokes absolutely bingoed that little Rugby dweeb

5Live lionising Zverev here. No story about him should be broadcast without mentioning that he's a domestic abuser.

My 40th tonight. I've somehow managed to convince 47 (forty seven) people to turn up.

New Zealand always have a captain called Tom/Ross/Ed or something and there always absolutely shite

Fuck that vowelly, Franciscan monk looking gimp #thereds

They're gonna do that thing where they scratch around for an hour, score 10 runs and lose the chance to get some quick wickets at the end of the day, aren't they #bazball

Ah well, only another three years til Jamie Smith gets dropped.

Emilio Shite, more like.

Had a big old lunch today with loads of wine. Friends, I am in my cups

Just saw this absolute Cupraman at Piccadilly

Sad to hear about Keegan and Dalglish. Two good men.

Any banter?

Hayden Hackney eh? It's a yes from this hipster.

So that was the first play of The First Big Weekend, of the summer.

This episode of Dear England is playing the 98 version of Three Lions during Euro 96

Find myself quite shocked by that hit and run killing in Manchester. Those two little fucks doing 130mph in a 40 zone whilst doing balloons. Then trying to get an Uber to escape the scene after they crashed and killed that poor bloke in the other car. 11 years is nowhere near enough for that.

Taking the two kids to the cinema at 10:20 this morning. Hoping to be fast asleep by 10:30

Tommy from Trainspotting in goal for PSG here

Patrick Bateman voice:- "Gordon is wearing a mid blue oxford shirt, unbuttoned, and a black, double breasted blazer. He looks pallid and has used too much hair spray."

I find this Arsenal team and their extremely online fanbase very annoying

Cafe Continental for lunch today for this Bon Viveur

Join us next week where we'll stroke our chins and discuss another extremely obvious topic in a Very Intelligent way.

Yes lad

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Lovely stuff. Well done Palace.

Lots of weather nonces on here tonight

Anthony Gordon to Barcelona!! I don't think I understand the game anymore, lads.

Just remembered that time Banjo posted his table number at Wetherspoons on Twitter and got absolutely inundated with bowls of peas.

Not so sure about this "Tony Blair" character tbh

KitTok — Wednesday, 27-05-2026 👕 📅 1 ✅ ✅ 💡 Year Hint: Not Used 🔥 Win streak · 3 I scored 32 pts (16 team + 16 year). Can you beat my score? #KitTok @kittok.co.uk Play: www.KitTok.co.uk

Whatever I do with Windows/Shutters/Blinds in this heat, someone always tells me to do the opposite. None of you have got a clue.

"You'll never sing that"

Just saw that Deportivo got promoted this season. Good that.

We're a much-maligned species aren't we. Correctly. Killing off the Dodo, climate change, ethnic cleansing etc. But every now and again some genius comes along and invents something like children's roll-on sun cream and you realise why we are the absolute top boys.

Have we signed Jarrod Bowen yet? Because we will.

Can't get over some of the stuff that SNP egg bought with the stolen money. When you're paying £100 for some chopsticks, you know you're just doing it for the love of the game. Fair play.

A livestream of a volcano in the Philippines captured a meteor crashing to Earth today. What are the odds? Mayon Volcano, Location: Albay, Luzon, Philippines

Went for a lunch today at Alderley Park. Spent most of the afternoon wondering whereabouts Herbert Asquith went at it with Venetia Stanley. (David Lloyd George, 1914 etc)

I love Gareth Southgate. I think he's genuinely a brilliant role model for young lads. Would love to meet him and shake his hand. But that peno against Germany really was generationally bad. Absolutely pathetic stuff.

Disgraceful, that. Thanks Moyesie but that'll do.

Subs on the hour mark. #moyesie

O'Brien looks absolutely shot. Confidence gone. And it's not his fault at all

A 45 minutes for the ages there from Merlin Rohl.

Fine from the national broadcaster

Have these and a smoke before the game or something? Rohl just wandering around

"Everton's best spell of the match by a distance." It was a throw in and one bad cross.

Stockport's Gambian striker being called "Sidibeh" rather than Sidibe is a great bit of Berting.