I fucking hate this whole quitting pot for medical tests bullshit. Pain so bad it wakes me up because I feel like every nerve ending in my back is being electrocuted 🫠

Omg I was fine and hella productive all morning and as soon as I get back after lunch I'm folded in half on the 🚽 with wicked cramps whhhhy

Ugh, no snow day/late start for me 😭

It is also roughly that time of my cycle where I'm just all up in the big sad feels so that doesn't help 😭😭😭😭😭 maybe I'll go cry in the shower later

Tfw you try to ask your carpenter man carpenter questions but he's still sick so he just sounds annoyed with everything and all of a sudden my brains like "guess we'll just die 🫠" I know he's not actually annoyed with me but holy fuck I wanna sob, thanks hormones

Every now and then I remember a dumb fucking comment a family member made and I just wanna pop em right in the face real quick.... 👊

Had a nervous breakdown the moment I wanked into the doctor's office from the waiting room woo! But hey she's getting me a referral to internal medicine for a full heart work up

Wish me luck demanding a whole ass work up on my heart today~ quit energy drinks (no more than 1 a day) 2 months back, stopped smoking pot a week ago... HR still hitting 115 waking at 1.2 miles per hour.... Or spiking to 140s doing dishes 🫠 something is WRONG

I keep checking 🚓 reports and provincial obits and still no word about Mags 😭 fuck I hope she failed and she's on a grippy socks vacation

Fuck, decade long "haven't shit myself" streak is over 😭

Managed to force almost 800 in me today... I try to at least get 1200 a day (slow and steady) 1600 for the last 3 days combined isn't enough 🫠 my husband is worrying which is fair so am I but I'm so queasy and blec

Welp, I feel like utter shit but bonus side of appetite go byebye?

Paramedic last night finally chilling because they confirmed I wasn't actively dying, his partner gone to get the ambo, noticing the cat tree: wait, kitties!?! 😃😃😃 Hubs: would you like me to free them? Para: yes please! Wait 2 kitties!?!? 😃😃😃😃

On the plus side that long ass panic attack definitely burned a lot while I laid on the couch thinking I was dying

Ooooh that was a new flavour of panic

Boss: I'm gonna shoot someone. Me, immediately:

Been tracking BP/pulse and misc symptoms I typically ignore.... Your heart beating so strongly you can feel it in your belly bottom is weird 2/10 would not reccomend

Are you kidding me... Ykw fuck it come on heart just give out already I'm fucking done existing but I won't do it myself 🙃

🍃lowers blood pressure so here I am thinking maybe that's what did it but why TF is my BP the same right now, after I was just hella active, as it was 10 minutes after a bong rip last night huh!?

.... I need to book a drs appt I think... I'm not res. to extremes at all but low-key super fucking worried about my ❤️ there's something wrong. Who am I fooling there BEEN something wrong for a decade now I was just too fat to be believed....

Dude depression is so weird to me... I have no fucking idea how to help 🫠 I don't even think I CAN help with his feeling useless...

I know I need to quit cigs they're horrible for you and smell bad but like... I might need to quit the jazz cabbage again? Just take me out back and put me down ffs. What do you mean the only painkiller I'm not low-key terrified of is dropping my BP? Not fair?

Ah yes... Thank you body I definitely wanted to be wide tf away at 5am 🫠

Update on the ew walls, everything is painted, it no longer smells like stale gmrboi sweat... The kitchen is still caked in grease idk how this place never caught fire which is terrifying since I live in the same complex 🫠

Why tf can't I wear leggings to my damn cleaning job but the people facing office staff gets away with leggings and sweats?

Tw: mentions of body goo Why did this dude wipe his boogers all up the back of the door frame!? And in his closet!? 🤢

Ate a little like shit over the weekend but was in enough of a deficit the other days it's still in loss territory 🫠 Fridays might need to be scale day both for the 4 days of okay consumption before and a reminder to calm TF down over the weekend

Laying on the floor and just crying seems hella appealing right about now

Should have been done this unit last month technically. Been told we're too slow as cleaners (all of us not just me) and yet I can't finish before the carpet is ripped out of the bedroom and it's painted, neither of which have been done yet 🫠 but yes... I'm slow....

Okay checked again this morning after 3 days of consuming right and maybe it was only up 10 not 15.... Still sucks but a little less 😂

Oh fuck yeah, supervisorless today

Finally checked the damage because measurements are all within old range, but w up 15elbees ugh. 2 days back into tracking weeee

Finished last night, it was adorable 🥰

Am I back on track? Not quite, more like clinging to the edge kicking and trying to get my ass back fully but eeeeh, at least I'm clinging?

Half way through, enjoying it greatly so far but I also adored another of this author's books, Nettle and Bone.

So bloated, just roll me off a cliff

Ooooh end of year bad cold to kick my ass back on track? I have 5 months left to hit at least close to goals and I'm scared I won't make it

Lobby full o' 💉 and 💊 It wasn't so bad when it was just someone sleeping in there, even if they pissed in the corner...

Old fella that lived in one of the buildings I clean passed away over the weekend 😭 be free you silly man, your wish fufilled, you'll never have to live in a nursing home.

And grandma is back in the hospital 🫠 that tracks, she was there for Easter, her birthday, and mother's Day so why not aim for Christmas too...

Wish me luck gang, I'm gonna yell at one of my bosses today when he makes a smart ass comment~

2 days before 🩸 : I am a void and I require food Now: if I even look at food I want to 🤢

Pissed on the stick and yay! No exploding fallopian tube ~

Hmm... Pretty sure I should be bleeding by now... Which means I need to waste $15 on a piss stick and I'll start immediately after use, like every other time I've panicked because iud

Woooo I woke up hella cranky!!!

Okay I haven't been tracking but I've managed to ✨not gain✨ so small win, even if no losing 🫠 I really do need to start tracking again

Me: idk I don't think I'm that bad Me @ myself: what if we broke 15y nc with the incubator? For the meanspo?

Lax? Nah man, carrot soup 🍲

I don't run, I have bad knees (there's lore there) I ran today, there was an injured 🐕 that needed to be scooped and delivered to the local SPCÅ for a health check. (Human found!! via another local pup parent asking around, informed who to contact)