[Charon, Ferryman of the Styx]: So we don't do transactions in change anymore, I can take plastic or you can Venmo me or whatever. [Me, mouth stuffed to the brim with pennies]: Thaaf mugs snes.

Vegeta: Kakarot has achieved a new form?! What is this "Eepy Baby Mode"?!

Legacy is a con job, forever a monotone. Ozymandias can have a dumb fuckin' statues. Give me a shitty cup of coffee, a gray morning, hot toast.

The Next Big Thing. A video game. You are on a reality TV show to discover The Next Big Thing. You arrives at a beautiful island resort. No one is there. No one else is on the island.

Sometimes I worry the things I write could be mistaken for AI because they make no sense, but then I read back and there's a sublime deliberateness to my dumbfuckery that machines have yet to truly master.

A hot dog eating contest judged not by volume but by moral clarity.

[Song inspired by true events] I squirmed in wretchedness and found Anguish I could not take So rose me then from up my bed For a midnight hot dog break! O hi diddy hi O hi diddy hog O wretched thing O hottest dog O hi diddy hi Oh ho diddy ho My hot dog fair To my mouth she goes!

Them, extra-cool voice: "But there are already enough [X genre] games out there." Me, extra-dork voice: "But we haven't yet seen YOUR [X genre] game! That's gonna be something quite special."

squirrel: *points gun* me: what do you want me to do? squirrel: *gestures at sign* me: alright, i get it *opens book drop* squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion* me: NOT A SQUIRREL! squirrel: *disappears into book drop* me: *whispers* forgive me, keith

A tiny dragon guarding his treasure.

We made a robot that can turn evil, and it's eyes can turn red, and it can kill all humans with lasers and junk like in the movies, but it just keeps running lazy scams and drinking billions of gallons of water instead and it's super bumming us out.

I Got Reincarnated As A Low Rank Goblin But Kept My Class Consciousness And Now I'm Unionizing The Demon Lord's Armies?!

TTRPG that starts with a GM, but the goal of the game for the players is to defund and abolish the GM.

D66 Things Guards Say When You Pass A Stealth Check (Fantasy)

I cosign every single word of this anthonymoser.github.io/writing/ai/h...

We are all stardust, but so is a dumpster full of garbage, so maybe we shouldn't gloat.

Have a sad boy poem, you fuckin' sad boy. What you gonna do, be sad about it?

Chat geeptee is down? Try copying and pasting passages from the I Ching for the time being.

It's actually very normal and healthy for me to occasionally, and for no clear reason, decide that everyone I hold close to my heart secretly hates me. Keeps me on my toes, y'know? Keeps that amygdala stretched and limber.

What if I went to bed at 730PM EST and slept for ten thousand years?

[Spinning my new boyfriend, Wesley Snipes, faster and faster on the dance floor so I can launch him with deadly force at a group of vampires]: Bae Blade.

It's 5PM and pitch dark out. I'm about to start fusing hydrogen into helium myself just to get the vibes back where they should be.

But the real monster was man! [Monsterfuckers become visibly disappointed]

the ball is not the protagonist of pinball. you are not the protagonist of pinball. the hole is the protagonist. you are the villain. she is starving

Feeling like a bucket of that bad swamp water. Not the good swamp water, like you want.

A prison of magnitudes. Every problem I can touch seems too small to matter, every horror we face seems too enormous to even understand.

Movie that is a shot for shot recreation of the original Jaws, but when they finally catch up with the shark it's revealed that he's a wisecracking mystery solving shark who plays drums, and he was framed for the murders. Jabberjaw: The Movie starring Christian Bale as Jabberjaw.

Is anyone hiring Freelance Evil Viziers? I think I'd be great in the role.

Zoisite: He is one of the legendary monsters! Now transform! [Turns into a weird horrible bird with boxing gloves] I knew that would happen! He's supposed to look like that!

The videomancer wields all the saccharine strength of a hastily made direct-to-video sequel to The Land Before Time, but to cast their dark spell even once, they must first eat an entire VHS cassette.

"Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine that one day I would paint a picture of hot Bowser for official material, announced by Miyamoto himself. 😭 I laughed so hard in disbelief while painting, you have no idea lol"

Will Eisner's late work The Plot (2005) chronicles real-life conspiracies among bonafide political elites to fan the flames of antisemitism against Jewish "elites," so as to deflect attention from their *actual webs of corruption and kompromat.* Cultural & media warfare covers for so many.

Hello? Vlad? Mister Tepes? I'm from the Home Owner's Association, and we need to talk to you about your lawn decorations.

The James Bond franchise faces a big problem: me, the viewer, has been shot at the start of the movie through the barrel of my gun, and I'm dripping blood over my own eye balls (they're in the gun)

There was a devastating fire that started at one of the local apartment complexes on Friday night. While no one was injured, 230 students were displaced. The most effective way to help the affected students is to donate to the UMass Student Care and Emergency Fund, linked below.

My mind palace is very spartan. Just a few cherished memories of family and friends, a bunch of passwords, and a detailed walk through for 1999 hit videogame Planescape: Torment.

If you haven't, do watch the KS video. The animation segment is by Annika Sturmer and we're absolutely thrilled: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvno...

It's Apocalypse World 3rd Ed Kickstarter Launch Day, to those who celebrate (All of you, I should hope.) www.kickstarter.com/projects/lum...

[In a dungeon, holding a dart board, standing in front of a poorly concealed pressure plate.] This is gonna be sick as hell dude.

It is officially time for the Democratic Party to stop wasting money on their out of touch consultant class, and start paying for insights from Bluesky posters named "<--- kill me" and "Kicked In The Farm Parts"

I cannot spell the word "Received" correctly on the first try. I hope you don't think less of me.

I am a hole full to teeth, waiting for the right nutrient rich varmint to crawl in.

Man Who Has Nothing Important To Say: I have something important to say!