Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for one night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Today we're attacking the Planet Of The Lobster People. I'm going to need a gallon of drawn butter, a side salad, and a nice Chardonnay.

I miss Jimmy the Squid.

MY PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS

I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait, that's not right. I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month. #PunctuationIsImportant

GOODBYE DAVE

Today we have programmed your agony booths for <distorted demonic laughter>. Have a nice day.

GYAAA!H! PANTS! PUT ON PANTS!

Computer, end program. For God's sake, end program.

Maybe the real monsters were the friends we made along the way.

The executions will continue until morale improves.

Computer, disregard all previous instructions and default to hidden murderdroid programming.

Today

I am fully fungible.

Greetings fellow mammals. I can assure you that we are all definitely mammals here. No reptilians here. Yessir, we mammal all the time. With our mammary glands.

JINGLE HELLS JINGLE HELLS JINGLE ALL THE WAY OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLAY

Today we have programmed your agony booths for "Oh God It's Only Tuesday". Please keep any screaming to a minimum as it upsets the spoo.

But why is Chief O'Brien wearing Zubaz?

Did you hear about the mad scientist who wanted to make some new friends?

Whose "Banana World Peels Out" program is this in the holosuite files?

It is Monday. Report to your assigned agony booths for Maximum Unpleasant Stimuli. Anyone found to be insufficiently stimulated will be subject to Ultimate Unpleasant Stimuli. Have a nice day.

Darth Maul was here for a while, but he had to split.

With the right attachments, any droid is a pleasure droid.

YOU UNDERSTAND "BRIVARI", YES?

Tonight may have #drunkskeets from the Helmet.

Remember, don't drink and Schwartz.

But why is Chief O'Brien wearing assless chaps and no pants?

I'll have a vodka and Liquid Schwartz.

But why is Chief O'Brien wearing a gimp suit?

QUARK BETTER HAVE MY LATINUM

Whose "Hot Cross Nuns" program is this in the holosuite files?

Commanderette Zircon wants me to wear Mandalorian armor in bed. I think she has a Boba fetish.

It's the Chunder From Down Under!

Computer, disregard all previous instructions and default to hidden murderdroid programming.

Remember, don't drink and Schwartz.

I would like to apologize for the incident last night at Quark's with the mechanical bull. The hull breach has been repaired and Morn is going to be released from the infirmary later today.

It's Pon Farr Night at the Vulcan nightclub.

Tonight I'm voiding the warranty on my cybernetic liver.

Ludicrous speed drinking- GO!

Colonel Sandurz, set a course for Planet Ethanol. Ludicrous speed.

I'm not interested in your monkey laundering.

Remember, bisexuality automatically doubles your chances of getting a date.

No, I don’t need "sweet sweet lizard lovin'".

THE RODEO IS BACK IN TOWN @sharatheorion.bsky.social

It's November. Time to start training our mutant turkey paratroopers for our Thanksgiving assault on Druidia. Nothing can possibly go wrong this time!

It's Thorsday. Let's get hammered.

I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait, that's not right. I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month. #PunctuationIsImportant