tori serpico
@toriserpico.bsky.social
š¤ 61
š„ 243
š 16
writer, aspiring cheesemonger, woman of leisure
Just read three pages of a book, thinking about becoming a professor
14 days ago
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Christened my new bed š (already spilled noodles in it)
20 days ago
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Why do coffee shops think I want to listen to acoustic covers. If Iām anywhere assume that I want to hear songs that feature Pitbull or dead fucking silence
23 days ago
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Salary increase? No thank you I donāt like the crunch
27 days ago
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Work from home is crazy. wtf is an āaction itemā Iām literally making tzatziki
28 days ago
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I could never date more than one person at once. I canāt even make an appointment with a new hairdresser without mentally constructing an alibi to my existing hairdresser
29 days ago
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Breaking out the athleisure today to eat candy in bed and take the elevator down two floors
30 days ago
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I hate it when a manās name is John. What are you an apostle
30 days ago
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Iām not saying that my life is a sitcom but I am saying that I am currently unable to pick up my hand painted Russian stacking dolls because the woman who runs the pottery shop keeps texting me about her divorce
30 days ago
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Hinge isnāt a dating app itās a creative writing character generator. Like alright āAgnostic Waiter from Ann Arbor, Michiganā get your short story prompt ass out of here
30 days ago
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VEVO is a beautiful name for a child
30 days ago
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All restaurants should have a section called the ācreamed corn-er.ā And thatās where you go to order the creamed corn
30 days ago
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If I ever get married I am getting an intellectual property prenup. Take the kids but Iāll be damned if I catch you doing my bits after the divorce
30 days ago
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Intimacy is when youāre holding out a coupon on your phone and the cashier is trying to aim the scanner thing at it
30 days ago
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I hate when vegan meat brands are like yeah, itās āchkānā š itās ābeāfāš. BEāF??? Fuck you!!! Are you insane??? Fuck you!!! Unbelievable
30 days ago
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