Elon Musk press conferences are like a Neil Breen film

Logging on

We are only a couple weeks away from Trump just literally tearing up The Constitution during a press conference at the National Archives

Move aside, Fartboy

Mitch McConnell falling down the stairs a second time was just a distraction from the first time he fell down the stairs

In retaliation for the tariffs, Canadian Geese have been instructed to poop 25% more during their migrations through America

Sorry babe, tonight's not the best night for a Moondance

Just got back from Flight Risk (2025) what a total piece of shit. -Main character fails to secure badguy 5 goddamn times and he keeps getting loose and attacking them on the plane -90 minutes but felt like 3+ hours -If I had known Mel Gibson directed it I wouldn’t have gone -Fuck you Mel Gibson

Eggs were so cheap we would buy them and throw them at rich peoples houses

I hate this I hate everything about this

I think they should go a step further and just turn off the internet altogether

Live feed of Merrick Garland’s Justice Department hard at work:

"How can we make the internet objectively worse for everyone?" -tech bros for the last 20 years

Morbferatu

Advertise your account with just one image

YouTube sent me a notification for this bizarre video of space images set to ambient music but I’m not subscribed to the channel. Half the comments are people claiming to be in a collective consciousness and the other half are people asking “wtf is this shit why is this getting recommended to me?”

2025 energy

Children, please remain calm. A Tesla Cybertruck has exploded

Fell asleep with Amazon Prime running and woke up to the movie I, Frankenstein playing on my TV what an awful way to start 2025

New Years Eve preparations (for all my friends)

There’s some freaky shit happening on Mars

Scooby Doo can doo doo but Jimmy Carter *was* smarter 😢

I am constantly insulted on this platform

The Blob says it needs ‘more living beings than we’d imagined’ as it lays out assimilation plan

Characters in Netflix shows be like:

At a Christmas party and the host served “Chex mix” but it was clearly made with Crispix brand cereal what a fucking travesty

Tis the season to rock MF DOOM Xmas beats

Americans love having choices. Like choosing which health insurance provider you want to deny your insurance claim. That’s called freedom!

Democrats could have easily won the 2024 election if they had just gotten Jeb! on board the campaign alongside Liz Cheney. What a total blunder!

Thanks Rudy!

Congratulations to CTE for winning the boxing match

Nice to see Xzibit came out of retirement to provide the ugly ass car jake paul is using to enter the stadium

Shout out to the old guy at the tyson vs paul fight who just called it Nutflix

I once saw a film of Will smith fighting robots and his younger clone, he is such a brave man

Eating popcorn on the couch. More people should try this

i keep hearing that bluesky is full of communists, and yet no one has shared my post. Curious 🧐

current mood

my handle is invalid 😔

I’m considering just closing my eyes for the next 4 years

Just one more thing…

Life was simpler when Joe Rogans biggest cultural influence was making people eat donkey testicles on tv for money

This is the only book that matters

How many licks of Tootsie-Pop does it take until you die?

“This is the one thing we didn’t want to happen” -The Democratic Party

How’s everyone feeling today?