I made a stupid joke where the punchline was me screech-singing "WHATS GOIN' ON?!” & now it's stuck in my head so if you live by the gun you die by the gun I guess.

The event horizon.

So has anyone identified this psychotic little fuckin' piggy yet?!

A Black man was killed by ICE (off duty) in Los Angeles on New Year’s Eve. And like Renée Good, he was an American citizen. But most people have not heard about Keith Porter. I need y’all to realize this. Black people experience this lack of visibility all the time when it comes to being victims.

"I just can't help myself, I really can't, I just reach out & grab 'em by the Greenland Sea..."

Soothing adjacent.

Goddamn it.

Exactly right. It's this, then Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, & finally, Bang the Drum Slowly for some laughs.

That is not melted popcorn butter the guy behind you "accidentally spilled" on the back of your neck.

No-fault divorce has saved multitude of women's lives yet Republicans are actively trying to repeal by claiming it is hurting "innocent" men. Imagine being trapped in a marriage with your ex, that's what they want Texas HB 3401 Oklahoma SB 829 Louisiana Covenant Marriage Nebraska LB 498 And more

Fingers crossed for a fast & full recovery, man! www.cbsnews.com/news/nyjah-h...

These videos are still so jarring. Never has the contrast between "holy fuckin' shit, I'm watching this horrifying historical event unfold live" & "uhhh...I think that guy pepper spraying a cop is my milk delivery guy" been starker.

New game idea- Greenland or Elon's dick?

"Nothing can compare to it. In fact, many people are saying the only thing that has more ballroom is my mouth, because Putin's are in there, but there's definitely room for more, Kim Jong, I'm looking at you..."

There was a show I watched years ago called Danger UXB about bombs that failed to detonate as WWII was going on, & it was fuckin' terrifying.

Merry Christmas! You're an "influencer!" @rob-sheridan.com

Who's watching who NOW, Mr. Kringle?! www.noradsanta.org/en/noradhq#O...

I feel...heard.

".... and if you want testicles exclusively, just testicles, say maybe seventy three of them, that will, of course, be more extra."

Make America Grampa Again.

"More like Dan Gone-gino...!", typed me gleefully between bong rips. www.ms.now/news/bongino...

"I support the President, & will do whatever is asked of me, up to & including Human Centipeding with other Administration officials, so please stop asking me about my lips."

What an awesome combination of words. @manmademoon.bsky.social

"No, no, no, I'm supposed to get top billing, not the goddamn bathrooms!"

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like OHMYGOD WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT HERE?!

Sure, things are getting disgustinger, but on the bright side, uhhh...it's Friday?! I'M REALLY TRYING HERE, MAN...

I named my fists Ashford and Simpson because they're solid, solid as a rock and nothing's changed it the thrill is still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

I'm starting a business called THAWT$ and in about twenty minutes I'm gonna be one of those kabillionaires I fuckin' hate

Macy's Parade goes hard this year, featuring a glasses free Rudy Giuliani mistakenly trying to seduce a hotel nightstand light.

When you see this, post an image from your gallery to describe your mental health.

Let the youth have their "6-7”. Adults know it's "6-9" for the win.

"... likely to be the 218yh vote in the Epstein discharge petition..." So...which Democrat is gonna fuck THIS up?!

"In related news, Ansari & her team are pursuing a search warrant for Johnson's ass, as they believe that is where the representative's missing foot will be found..."

A film that you’ve seen more than seven times, in a GIF #Noirvember #film #noir #cinema #FilmNoir

So...they wanna be cooks?

And in a month, it'll be the Goode Olde Dayse.

(doctor flips through medical chart, takes a deep breath & begins...) "Ms. Halligan, if I'm understanding you correctly, uhh...I'm sorry, it's simply far too late for you to get an abortion... seriously, this kid is, what, five years old?!" www.lawfaremedia.org/article/anna...

He's not wrong.

Question- I once ingested what I believed to be two tabs of LSD, but later discovered it was actually eight tabs of LSD. Today, I find myself agreeing with Rand fuckin' Paul. Are these events connected?!

Goddamn it. bsky.app/profile/npr....

Holy fuckin' hell I might have to leave my house. bsky.app/profile/gone...

South Carolina's gotta South Carolina! www.npr.org/2025/10/12/n...

I will do more I will do better. I WILL DO MORE BETTER. (my idiotic self improvement mantra)

Noem gets it- it's not enough to have the biggest dick in the room if you're not gonna whip him out sometimes.

What an absolute badass right up until the end of this life!