“Just say you’re jealous. I don’t blame you.”

“I’m just saying— if I wasn’t the coolest, why would I have my own trading card?”

“You would not believe the week I’ve had!”

“Have I missed anything big? Another invasion? Or pseudo-dictatorship?”

I meant noticed how you were gone , and busy with your expeditions .

“I know Jayce is happy to see me! And definitely noticed I was gone!”

“Don’t fret! Your favorite explorer has returned! And all in one piece!”

He forces some extra airy bravado into his reply to dismiss the notion of her suggestion as he says, “Even if it’s misinformed, any publicity is good publicity, right?” Pausing, he chews the inside of his cheek. After a moment’s hesitation, in a quieter voice, he asks, “…What’s the hint?”

“What’s going o— Whoa, bald.”

“The one hole that can't have a substitute after gone; family. Parents. Love.”

“I don’t— I’m not bothered by it!” Suddenly everything is more interesting to look at than making eye contact. “I think you got some bad info. This guy is doing just fine! The only love I need is maybe my own fan club. If you’re gonna start one, I’m thinking classic colors of yellow and blue.”

Who is this lady?

He chokes on his own saliva and falls into a racket of coughs. “Ahhhhh…ha…ha…pffft. Uhhh…are you sure they didn’t say ‘cool ancient artifacts?’”

“Whoops. Got a little lost in one of those tunnels. Don’t worry! I’m back and I’m fine!”

"Right...Yeah, those topsiders...so lame..."

“Thanks, me too. …One question— What are they saying I’m seeking?”

“I’m a treasure hunter— hey, I’d go so far as to say treasure reclaimer!”

“I personally like going for the ‘Ooh! My favorite face is here!’ sort of reception but maybe that’s just me.”

.⠀ׂ⠀𓋲 ₊⠀⠀she’s a 𝑯𝙴𝙻𝐋 𝙾𝙵 a⠀𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙸𝙻𝙻 ... ❱❱ . ׄ ׅ ⁀݁ ˖⠀ 𝑪𝚈𝙰𝙽i𝙳𝙴 in her 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑪 𝑽𝑬𝑰𝑵𝑺 ︵᷼‿

“Okay, um, pfft. That seems a little…harsh… Are you sure you got the right guy? Beautiful light and me are like this.” He crosses his fingers.

“Ah, the thief of Shurima. I've heard 𝙨𝙤 much about you~”

“Whoa! Wait, who’d you hear that from? …See, I’m torn between being very happy about a new title and also being offended I’m labeled as a lowly thief.”

“Oh phew. Not me. Ahem. Carry on!”

“Okay, ‘thief’ is a very strong term that I don’t know if we want to just throw around…”

“Ohhh, if it isn't the 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙚𝙛. How curious that you're here.”

“Can’t we just have one day without ominous visits?”

“Ugh, so sappy.”

It’s not so bad— sitting at the edge of tiled rooftop, gazing up at the astral collection of lights in the night sky.

“Ominous fog (not the Gray)… Why can’t it ever be comforting fog?”

“Might need to start giving out some Hex-Life-Alert.”

“Would it kill you to say ‘Piltovan?’”

“Oh, it’s a pretty girl? Well—“

“Tails aren’t a metric of trustworthiness! Have you ever seen a Shuriman Sandswimmer?”

“I’m looking out for you! This is like ‘unexpected consequences 101!’”

“No way, I AM the party.”

“Usually if something is too good to be true, it usually tends to be…that it is.”

“Who’s THAT?”

“Is it though?”

“There’s gotta be at least one thing you enjoy.”

Just found out they’re called ‘historians’ and not ‘herstorians.’ Damn. Why are the jobs gender-exclusive?

“Does it count as ‘history’ if it hasn’t happened to you yet?”

“That’d make us a little…Lost, huh?”

“Mannn, why do you gotta be such a downer?”

“A bunch of dead people coming back? What are we, the Shadow Isles?”

"See, that's the funny thing. There are no rules to being cool."