i get asked a lot abt why i feel so at home in CA and lemme tell u it’s bcs ive NEVER lived in 1 home for this long in my life the closest i’ve come to this is being in MI for 18 years but even then it wasn’t the same home

i am sad today but im p sure that’s just bcs i was so sick i missed 2 days of prozac

i managed to eat a yummy spicy full breakfast!!! omg i haven’t been able to eat like this since early friday night

too dizzy to get out of bed but at least my stomach is feeling mostly kinda better

gonna talk abt this in depth tomorrow bcs this has been a WILD experience and i think it’s important other pukey ppl know the difference between their normal sick vs how sick being roofied makes u

it’s so nice to be home i love my own space and my own bed i hate being in strange places they make me feel gross in a way that i can’t shower off

still sick as dog but at least i’m home safe

was v v sickies all day in a worse than my usual way and had some V strange symptoms and my mom and i think i may have been roofied

safe and sound at my destination💞

saw my reflection and went omg who’s that cute girl with the lovely dog!!!! IT WAS ME!!!!

oki oki NOW everything is packed am all set for the morning 💞💞 but not RLLY excited so paws crossed that i have fun

help me recoup my vet bill throne.com/pennyposts/i... or give me monies for my silly game throne.com/pennyposts/i...

anyways Miig Ziig and Sanger could have me all at once

do u hate me??

help me recoup my vet bill throne.com/pennyposts/i... or give me monies for my silly game throne.com/pennyposts/i...

i was hanging clothes and then all of a sudden i was staring up at the ceiling (im oki i fell on carpet)

i said “hey i would like THIS specific thing in THIS specific color” “do u want it in a different color or another different color?? even just for now?” ????? do i not speak in an understandable manner??? i want a specific thing in a specific color not to waste money on something i don’t want????

i truly feel like half the burden of packing is making the mental checklist to make sure u have what u need/know u can't buy on the road

laundry is started that means i can get super fucking high right?? yes ofc right

i have a full word doc of my plushies and trinkets names

so stressed abt going away i hate this i hate that my brain does this this should be good and fun but it’s not rn it’s AWFUL and i wanna DYE

solidified plans to leave for the weekend and im already regretting it. 5 hours in the car. a “new” place. no known routine. having to be extra vigilant abt new strange dogs. !!not in my own bed!! omg i hate myself. and the 5 hours home is gonna be hellacious bcs i just wanna be home!!!

im so stressed 😭😭😭😭 i just wanna stop adulting and cry for a bit

pls dear dog may my insomnia meds work tonight

i feel like such a burden even friend wise bcs im just so unwell and it’s not even solvable it’s wait it out unwell and ugh im sorry i know u all probs get sick of hearing it im sick of being it 💔💔💔

don’t wanna think or do anything pack and light and pull my bowl for me and sit me in ur lap and brush my hair and give me lil kisses and tell me that u love my lil pixel animals and lemme fall asleep and drool on u while u look at me like im the most precious treasure in the world

idk i give up for today

too sickies to even finish my fav breakfast 😭

miss the smell that houses had in the late 90s-early 00s

oh my god i just want to fucking scream

at that point in the night/morning where i don’t think i’ll ever fall asleep again

💔so many bad thoughts so v little energy to deal with them

just gonna smoke and watch more cringe compilations ig

it’s fine im fine its gonna be fine

can’t sleep and my back hurts and i’m grumpy

it’s important to me that u all know that i use the asl sign for happy as a stim

#lewdpuppy my fan is blowing my pussy smell right into my face🫣

2/3 of my surgical scars r almost invisible and i LOVE that but like also i love the scars???? idk i’m so happy both ways ig💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

im so crossfaded and happy and needy for cuddles and reassurance and love🥺🥺

Bedfellows🩷 for the #hardcover solo sketchbook! 😘 www.kickstarter.com/projects/har...

i feel so tiny and vulnerable and im gonna cry

me to my mom: thank u 4 pretending to enjoy when i share my pixel animals my mom: im not pretending they r so cute

if u like my presence u should tip me (i’m hurting after that vet bill) throne.com/pennyposts

super extra craving strong protective safe daddy/big bro vibes 😭

bonus points for knowing these quotes without seeing the gifs

“i can fix that” “as u wish” “id be so good to ya”

being mixed can be a difficult experience to navigate but i wouldn’t want it every other way im so grateful for every life that came b4 mine and paved my way with all their love they couldn’t always interfere with the bad but they gave me strength to get thru and to stand strong now

anyways im drunk and watching shoresy to cope

last night was awful and today has been also not good and there’s a super loud car drift event DIRECTLY below/behind my apt so my body has vibrated all day bcs of the engines

just had 1 of the most intense and sudden panic attacks that i’ve had in years some1 pls come hold me😭😭😭