Stole flowers from my best friends garden while they were busy getting brain surgery. Made an arrangement & left it in their kitchen to discover when they get home. I guess that’s not really theft. Anyhow, the neighbors definitely found me suspicious with a fist full of peony, iris, & seed heads.

Short work day adventure was to a thrift store and a South Asian grocery. I definitely celebrated my cool finds, including the pictured book, by stuffing my face with Kathi Rolls and samosas in the parking lot.

Been finding copies of books I read as a child through young adulthood to see how much my early literary interests influenced my post 25y/o personality and belief system. It's been a trip. I've clearly been on the we're stronger when we work together path since I was a child. Reading is important.

I’ve moved on to The Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler. I don’t think I was ready for the first chapter starting in 2024. I may not be ready for the entire book but I’m going in.

No, see… it’s the trans people being uncompromising on their rights who are the problem, not the people telling them not to be so loud while fighting for their rights. “You’re hurting your cause” And you sitting here acting like my resistance is the problem doesn’t?

There’s a stack of books I’ve been flipping through based on mood, which includes several novels. I finally finished one of the novels, The Left-Hand of Darkness. Instead of finishing one of the other novels, I pulled A Wizard of Earthsea off shelf and I’ve nearly finished it. Thanks, Ursula.

Managed to visit my best friend for a bit and play ACNH together. Did a quick errand on the way home. Vacuumed the whole apartment. Tossed towels in the wash. And now cooking dinner. If I sit down I’ll loose the momentum so I’m stubbornly still standing and the cat is pissed.

Got a great couple of days off, ending it with all day gardening. I now get to spend all summer watching these new berry bushes grow! Ugh, I can’t wait.

What a sad being. Unable to see the forest for the trees. Being trans has had its challenges but, they’re not self inflicted. All the challenges I experience have from external sources othering me. Treating me as if I’m some subhuman pest when all I want is a cup of coffee, a nice day, and cats.

Just got back from helping clean up a B&B’s property for the season. Yeah, they know I’m trans but to them, it doesn’t matter. I’m just another guy with a pair of gloves throwing downed branches into a burn pit, moving furniture, and gardening before we enjoy the wood fired hot tub in the evening.

Got my hair cut. Got a coffee and scone. Laughed with a group of strangers. Went to a local artists arts and crafts gift store. Came home, put out the umbrella and table cloth. Chilled outside and watched the birds. Cleaned up the garden bed. Talked to the backyard rabbits. Looked at seedlings.

I picked up my lover and took him out for hot cross buns and coffee. When we got back to my place we fucked and napped while wrapped up in one another. The cat got jealous and decided he wanted to nap with us and curled up with his head on my lovers hand and started purring. 😭🥰

Just made a lovely tuna salad with small bits of celery, green onion, mayo, dijon mustard, salt, pepper, fennel seeds, and leek powder. Served on sourdough with alfalfa greens. 🤤

Did a bunch of yard cleanup on Saturday, thought it messed with my allergies on Sunday but pushed though. Today my body said a not so polite “fuck you” and I slept most of the day. I was late to feed the cats dinner, so one of them started licking plastic in retaliation. It’s such a strange sound.

Furthermore, I made a table leaf today and totally drilled the holes for the pegs wonky, but it works just fine. It’s not like it matches my table anyways because it’s a completely different type of wood. I always use tablecloths because my table is from the 30s and definitely needs refinished.

Woke up at 9:30, fed the cats. Spent the morning listening to a playlist of soft, classical music and Djivan Gasparyan’s Duduk. Photographed some things to sell, seem ripped an old pad off of my camera bag strap, had a handful of walnuts and some coffee. What about my life is offensive?

Trapped beneath my normally not so cuddly cat while the cuddly one has been sleeping in the wingback chair all week. I am confused but know better than to pay either much mind. They’re cats, their ways are mysterious to some, but not I. Everything is fine as long as there’s minimal property damage.

Hung out with my enthusiastically consenting, adult, sexual partner. He regularly calls me “good boy” but also answers me by saying “yes, sir”. So affirming, very hot. We spent time lamenting age and slowly greying hair while taking a short break. I stroked his chest, such silky hair. 40s are fun.

Made bolognese. Would normally do 4-6 hours but did 2 so my mind wouldn’t be occupied with adding more broth every 20 minutes. Turned out lovely, shared it with a friend for late lunch.

Used a snow blower this week, first time. Cleared the driveway and sidewalk, then city plow blocked us all back in. A random Dude in a truck hooked me up with more gas and I went back out and cleared the ends of my driveway and my flanking neighbors driveways. Hoodie smells like sweat and gasoline.

Wrote in my journals today. One is a quick daily blurb, holds 5 years. One is for longer, personal entries. And one is political. A snapshot of what has happened thus far and my thoughts on it as a Transgender American. I hope one day it ends up in the hands of a historian. Listen to Trans people.

Slept in late, the cats were very accommodating and didn’t bother me. Had one date and a glass of water while I made coffee. Texted with friends to wish them well this day. About to crack open a book and read while the sun bathes me in its light. Maybe I’ll make egg in a basket for breakfast.

Considered that while I am not financially wealthy, I am emotionally. My friend circle is so full of love and care. It’s taken a while to get here, it’s weird, having people treat me the way I treat them. Having lopsided relationships is impossible at this point. My standards are now too high. 🖤

Genuinely wonder how many folks I’ve assisted over the years who are terrified of trans people and how they never had any clue that I am trans. I’m such a “nice young man” and all your grandmothers want me on speed dial and your grandfather wants to info dump about fishing or cars with me. Wild.

Forgot the bread, again. It’s fine, I’ve already moved into evening tea, housecoat, and slippers portion of the evening.

Cooked dinner, actually sat at the table to eat, and realized at the end I forgot the bread. Now I’m eating it on its own. Because, bread?

Went to a Christmas party with the close friend circle. Someone’s shirt had bells precariously placed all over and two ended up directly over their nips. Totally jingled them. Someone else wore a “Santa’s Slut” hat. There was a bondage gingerbread cookie sweater that had lights. Fantastic party!

Got harassed by my cats because I slept in late and they want their wet food breakfast. No, they aren’t starved. Their auto feeder went off at 8am. They simply are tired of me being lazy in bed when I could be using my thumbs to open a can. They’ll go back to mostly ignoring me after they eat again.

Took a shit this morning, used the gender neutral bathroom inside my apartment. Shockingly, I allow non-trans folks to also shit in my gender neutral bathroom when the need arises. I just never really considered telling someone no, like, who wants to clean up that mess? Yes, please use the toilet.