Oh no they’re here

Haha! Whoops! Oh golly! Shh! Ok! Don't worry! Boy howdy! Don't mind if I do! Wakka wakka! Me likey! Bon voyage!

Got a lot going for me, but dang if I'm not disastrously close to losing it! Whoopee!

Born to walk into the ocean, cursed to live in southwest ohio

Teeth grinding Waking teeth grinding Loose tooth teeth grinding Geese band songs bad? Grinding teeth anxiety stop

A “jart” is when you “shart” in your “jorts”

The ass that launched a thousand shits

o for a pit of venomous snakes

*unties you* Go on, get.

borats of canada

Shadowbanned from the gender neutral restroom by my office

be the change you want to see in the worm

*adjunctifies you*

They're called "garlic fries," and one man insists upon eating them before any important meeting. What you need to know, at 11.

[living in the pod] ugh, bugs again?

Oh no! It's boiling acid!

She rowin’ on my Atkinson ‘til I mist her bean.

So help me if you come back fucked!

What, me wormy?

blaow blaow blaow

Thinkin bout GURPS

RE: https://mastodon.social/@hgpennington/115859128401581576 are those erect hyphal sporangiophores topped with swollen, globose sporangia or are you just happy to see me

worm horse

Would you believe that I made all of those smells myself?

not now, mom, I'm 'puting

Vegan Rocky Mountain oysters

Captain, we’ve isolated a Male Loneliness Incident site. Permission to strike?

Need a good napping spot.

I've become a sort of interlibrary loan for pals

rolling the dice on a generic-brand merkin

Hoisted? With my own petard? It's more likely than you think.

Taking my grandpappy's JO crystals to the Antiques Roadshow.

scrying myself to sleep

Human Goofball Hormone

[academia, ai] My boss is increasingly sending out stuff with a tag "fyi I used notebook lm to generate this" and like, girl, this is something I literally did by hand in ten minutes last week, why are you dumping a gallon of water about it now.

wanton soup, whorish soup

[Neil Young, in his senior living facility, trying to get cucked] Old man, look at my wife.

What idiot called it a “bussy” and not a “gentleminge”

Webbed Sight

Aren't you a site for sore webs

You must wait another 7 days to perform that action.

The students of today, while very gay, are afraid of "doing crimes"

Tubular Balls

Stay a while and glisten

Panopticondom

Hell yeah I'm into Tron: Ares... Tron ares sheets out on the clothesline after my dang Samsung dryer quit working!

Might fuck around and chime in with a "haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"

Mrs. Paint

Cool! You’re jets!