🤣🤣🤣

I had to return something to Amazon after ordering the wrong size and them being unable to cancel the shipment, but they told me not to bother returning it after they'd processed the £20 refund. What's going on here?!

I absolutely *LOVE* watching action B-Movie trash from Cannon and DeLaurentis Entertainment. They're so indifferently made, and barely concern themselves with something as inconsequential as a story. They just race through their wafer thin plots to get from one overblown action scene to the next.

The vibes are failing to vibe this morning. 🫣

Always makes me chuckle when I see a location in Glasgow that I recognise in a movie. This is Douglas Street at the junction with Waterloo Street, dressed up as Co-Op City in The Running Man.

Wow. They couldn't even be bothered steaming the backdrop for the Tuckahoe County Fair on this week's RuPaul's Drag Race.

Does anyone else think Next is hideously overpriced for what it offers? £60 for an overshirt that isn't even lined!

Paul Giamatti seems to be having a great deal of fun chewing the scenery on #StarfleetAcademy.

It's my 46th birthday today. 🎈🎉🎂 You may celebrate by sending photos of your bums. 🍑

I love getting a nice £50 top for a fiver in the House of Fraser sale. 😁

My thunder thighs have claimed another victim. 🤭

Ever heard of the saying "like flies round shite"?

"The area of penetration will no doubt be sensitive."

It's all done in the best POSSIBLE taste!

Should I get round glasses at my next eye test?

Bluesky rules for new members 1. Don’t stop me now! 2. I'm having such a good time 3. I'm having a ball Good luck!

Love watching a £1.2m+ Ferrari SF90 XX get absolutely annihilated in a drag race with a £50k Chinese EV from a company best known for building smartphones and robot vacuums. 🤭

Oh no, the Star Trek purists are going to be absolutely livid - the Starfleet Academy show is getting good reviews! 😲

He's right. The 'bigger' Doctor Who has become in terms of importance, production values, and VFX, the worse it's become in terms of creativity and writing. It succumbed to the Berman-era Star Trek syndrome of relying on flashy effects to paper over cracks in the storytelling.

God, what a depressing Friday. It started off with my next door neighbour's funeral at 9.30am, and got progressively less cheerful as the day went on.

Would you like to play a game?

Not my house but I know my way around...

A bedside table that lights up? Yeah, we'll see how long that novelty lasts. Also, if anyone wants a sweaty 45 year old, I am currently available. 🥵

I'm wearing a pink T-shirt today and not one boy has winked at me. How disappointing.

I hope it's men that are four days older than him, really I do. 🤞🤞🤞

My For You feed is really leaning into the spirit of Hump Day. Nothing but butts and holes as far as the eye can see.

I could easily read the livery on the bottom of this Emirates Jet. If he'd been any lower, folks in Milton Court (Airdrie's one and only high rise) would have been able to wave to the passengers.

Storm & Alexis would be a great show, if it was a comedy drama about Storm from The X-Men and Alexis Colby from Dynasty. Unfortunately, the title is wasted on a Channel 5 daytime chat show with Storm Huntley and Alexis Conran.

Princess Diana or Katie Hopkins?

Those Four Non Blondes x Nicki Minaj What's Going On/Beez in the Trap videos sure did die off quickly, didn't they? Can't think why. 🤭

I'm not sure if we should ever see Star Trek: Voyager in real 1080 HD, as even this 720p upscale lets you see how crappy a lot of the props looked.

Sitting watching a Trixie Mattel video on YouTube when it got yanked down. 😱 "This video is unavailable*

Just had one of those isotonic sports drinks with electrolytes.

Anyone who needs 7 years interest free credit to finance something wants to have a word with themselves. Looking at you, American new car buyers.

My 14-year-old cousin told me that if I was to cover up the grey in my beard, the lack of wrinkles on my face would let me get away with claiming to be around 35. At 46, I'll take that! Might get the Just for Men out. 🤣

After more than three weeks off, I remember basically nothing about how to do my job. I can't even remember my passwords, so everything's had to be reset. 🤣

Pluto TV is airing Dynasty's first season with a fucked up 1:1 aspect ratio.

Why does this clip from Kimberley Walsh's music video for her cover of One Day I'll Fly Away make it look like she's about to walk the main stage of Drag Race UK?!

Can't help but think the events of The Strangers: Chapters 1 and 2 would be infinitely more entertaining if Madelaine Petsch was playing Cheryl Blossom from Riverdale rather than Maya Lucas.

Cardi B is a very enjoyable judge on Drag Race.

A Welsh Drag Queen called Liza Llanelli.

Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

When you have nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach... DIARRHEA! DIARRHEA!! DIARRHEA!!! 🤣

Who's he eye fucking?

There's nothing more dispiriting than a handsome man with a flat ass.

Starting 2026 proper in much the same state I left 2025 - sleep deprived, with a sore back, and a moderately fucked right knee that hurts most at rest. 😬🤭

This time of year always send my circadian rhythm to absolute shit. It's 2.02am and my body doesn't seem to think it's time for bed.

I absolutely hated most of the finale of Stranger Things apart from the '18 Months Later' epilogue.

I'm going in. Wish me luck!