Them: You're not staying for the work party? Me: Not unless they're paying me to stay.

Ok, Igor Jesus. I know that "I. Jesus" is just your first initial and last name on your shirt, but you also play in England* and I don't think there are any other Jesuses on your team so including that initial feels a little narcissistic. *England only matters because of language.

I think if Mohammed Kudus had been American instead of Ghanaian, he'd be in the NFL right now. With that strength and balance there's no way he wouldn't have been one of those running backs you see take a hit without even stumbling. Or he'd have been one of the all-time great USMNT players.

I'll never claim to be a great soccer player because I'm not and I don't like to lie. I will say that my indoor soccer team gives up 5 fewer goals per game on average in the games I play compared to the ones I miss. Could be they didn't have had enough players though. I don't know. I wasn't there.

I have no idea why UGA's Gunner Stockton was #7 in Heisman voting. Don't get me wrong. He's not back. Really accurate. Very few interceptions, but he wasn't asked to do much. 36th on attempts but only 48th on yards. Almost no rushing. He was a slightly less effective passer than Haynes King.

And speaking of backing into herringbone parking spots, I pulled into the parking lot as this dummy was trying to back in, I parked, grabbed by bag and coffee cup, got out of my car, locked it and was already waking away before this person managed to get into the space (almost).

I'm pretty sure I have nothing in common with people who reverse park into herringbone parking spaces. Normal spots, sure. As long as you're not holding up traffic, but the herringbone ones, you're now facing the wrong direction to leave, especially in one way parking lots.

I'm starting to realize most adults don't have a clue why they do what they do. It's the only way to explain lots of things. Like why you would go into a library where all the books are on walls & think putting something out of the way is shoving it against the walls, blocking access to the books.

Team handball is an underrated sport. Like I've enjoyed it every time I've ever seen it on TV, but I can't even find a place to play it in metro Atlanta, at least not on the south or east side. I know of multiple curling leagues.

I don't think I have ever seen Javier Mascherano without thinking about that time he tore his anus in the World Cup. From torn anus to managing Inter Miami.

Warning to geography nerds: Do NOT pay for the extra features on GeoGuessr. I was really enjoying it last year and got the paid subscription but got bored with it after a few weeks and cancelled. Got an email this year telling me it would renew unless I canceled. I canceled AGAIN. Still charged.

If you ever buy or read books for young children, @dansantat.bsky.social on the cover is a great clue that the book is good. As an illustrator, the art is beautiful (think Adventure Time crossed with Calvin and Hobbes Sunday strips). His taste in collabs is excellent and his own writing is great.

Normally centerbacks only score when there's a set piece, but Romero just scored as the most forward player for Spurs after an extended period of open play against Newcastle.

Dear teachers, stop acting like a kid is crazy for not wearing a jacket when it's over 50 degrees out and not raining. They have 15 steps to their heated car. If they feel cold they'll be fine and learn a lesson. Honestly, most of them probably won't even notice. If it's close to freezing, sure.

Why isn't the internet just people showing off their cool special interests and none of the nazis? Like you know you can learn about obscure instruments like hurdy gurdies instead of being stupid, right?

This is probably the funniest thing I'll read all day. It starts with Elon being "lean and wiry" and just gets better.

Took me a while to realize "performative male" meant a dude trying too hard to make women think he's a feminist and not the guy in a lifted pickup truck listening to Andrew Tate. I've never seen the former, but see a lot of the latter and they seem to be more performative about their masculinity.

I need Jersey Mike's to do a promotion advertising deals for sandwiches to throw at ICE. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

If you made the mistake of paying for Geoguessr like I did, keep an eye in your credit card. Even though I cancelled it a year ago, AND I cancelled it again when I got an email last month saying I'd be charged this month unless I cancelled, I'm still having to dispute the charge this month.

If you weren't the worst version of yourself in middle school (ages 11-14), you are probably a terrible person. Maybe if the only reason is because you were a psychopath as a toddler you're ok.

Mike Johnson never looks like he even believes what he's saying.

The fact that two teams in the Champions League today won after getting a red card AND in both games the player getting the red card had scored the winning goal is kind of insane. Actually, the entire second half of the Tottenham game against København was just silly.

Pat McAfee looks like the type of guy who puts on more cologne instead of showering.

Chelsea managed to do something I've never seen in soccer before: Got a red card in the 87th minute when you're already winning 3-0. Dude. Game's over and you just cost yourself the next game with that suspension. Calm down.

I'm really grateful that my father-in-law was such a good father that the only emotion my wife has to deal with in his death is grief. No anger. No resentment. No guilt. I hope my kids get equally uncomplicated feelings when I die. I can't imagine a better sign of a life well lived.

The name of my autobiography will be "If You Really Loved Me You Wouldn't Have Called Me."

One of my favorite pastimes at youth soccer games is making fun of the parents who are passionately wrong. Like the dad who just told his team to not move and let the other team be offside. On a throw in.

The Catch-22 of Charlie Kirk's murder is if you liked him, you should just say his death is worth the Second Amendment because showing empathy to him or his family is against his wishes. If you disliked him, you have to show empathy to someone you didn't respect just to give a subtle middle finger.

Most of the roads in my home county were unnamed until about 25 years ago and to name them, they basically found which family had lived on that road the longest and let them name the road so a disproportionate number of people have the same last name as their address.

When I first got into soccer, it was hard just to watch Premier League. La Liga was on a premium channel I didn't have and my team wasn't even televised every week. Today I opened Hulu Live and my third recommendation was a Bundesliga.3 game. 15 years ago I was just happy if Spurs were on CNBC.

Super responsible of RFK Jr. to fire the head of the CDC over vaccines less than a month after an idiot, likely inspired by his crap, shot up the CDC campus in Atlanta. I wish I believed in a fair universe that would make him feel the guilt he should feel.

Anyone else think that the whole Cracker Barrel rebrand was a stunt? The logo looked half assed and they knew people would be pissed. They'd get tons of free publicity and then not actually spend the money to change. Kind of like how some people think New Coke was a stunt to hide the switch to HFCS

Having to remind myself that Ange's first few games at Spurs were also amazing. The only problem is that Frank doesn't care what style they play as long as it's the right style against their opponent, so I'm having trouble remaining reasonable.

They don't eat at Cracker Barrel because somehow changing the decor is "woke." I don't eat at Cracker Barrel because it's always been school cafeteria food.

I'm just saying. George RR Martin wouldn't have run out of ideas if he'd based A Song of Ice and Fire on the Three Kingdoms period of Chinese history.

Really hope Richarlison stays healthy this year. When he's in form he can be really good but every time he's out with an injury he comes back with a weirdly heavy touch. Unlike today when he was receiving and turning in a crowd like it was nothing.

Coosa Christian needed to replace a coach suspended for ethical violations so they hired Rush Propst? A guy who's been fired at every stop in his career for ethical violations? Dude's own booster president turned him in last time. Dude makes boosters look ethical. www.ajc.com/sports/2025/...

I'm not really a superstitious person. But I'm also wearing the same Tottenham Hotspur polo shirt that I wore for every knockout game in the Europa League because I secretly worry that if I don't wear it for a Wednesday game they'll lose.

Pretty sure the only things I do that I'm actually good at are NYT's Connections and FoodGuessr. I got 13,000 on the FoodGuessr Daily! That's 1,456 points above today's average! 🎉 🌕🌕🌕🌕 5,000 (Round 1) 💯 🌕🌕🌕🌕 5,000 (Round 2) 💯 🌕🌕🌗🌑 3,000 (Round 3) Wednesday, Aug 13, 2025 www.foodguessr.com

Weird that a shooter who seems to have targeted the CDC campus in Atlanta and killed a cop isn't getting more coverage. Its the top story on the Atlanta Journal Constitution, and high on CNN's homepage, but I'm not seeing it a lot anywhere else. I found out because we had friends in the building.

Sometimes people seemed surprised that I get tasks at work done for them so quickly. It's not efficiency. It's knowing that if I don't do it as soon as you ask that there's a good chance it will never get done.

Son has been my favorite player since he joined the team. I hate to see him go, but I understand that players age out. He goes out a full club legend.

I'd been wondering if the reason Trump and Epstein broke up had been Trump found out just how far Epstein took it, but no. Trump apparently found it really "inappropriate" that Epstein hired away some of his "help". Honestly, that really does ring more true from Trump.

I really hope Atlanta United knew fully what "No Kings" meant and chose to use it for their ads anyway.

Going to be honest. Not sure why everyone is so angry about that Axios article. The whole thing is about how his "wins" are actually hurting him and it's likely going to get harder for him as the consequences of his economic policies start making it even harder for him.

The more you learn about European history before Columbus, the more you realize they wouldn't have had a chance in Asia and Africa until not long before they actually started in on those places. Unfortunately, they still would have had their own pestilence going for them in the Americas.

Marc Maron had the only interviews I could actually listen to. Even if I love the podcast normally, when they slip in an interview show it's usually a quick skip for me. Love Stuff You Missed in History Class and Last Podcast on the Left, but I've never finished one of their interview episodes.

You guys! I just had someone on the Internet get mad at me because they misunderstood what I'd actually written and when I pointed it out to them, they actually apologized. Pretty sure this means the world is ending sometime later this week.

The drive from Atlanta to Los Angeles is significantly longer than the drive from London to St. Petersburg, Russia. I always forget how small Europe is. Of course, Europe is just a peninsula of Asia.