maybe I really was the asshole

doing my taxes on the steamdeck

they should put touchtunes in the grocery store

just almost got hit by a cybertruck because it ran a stop sign

I’ve been spending all my time lately thinking about the future and also playing mewgenics

maybe I Am a very private person after all

thank fucking god for the guy who picked up my keys and yelled at me to give them back to me while I was sprinting for the bus just now

THIS AINT NO PARTY!!! THIS AINT NO DISCO!!!

i thought Minnesota nice was like their hockey team

customers think im personally hiding all the green beans from them because im an evil person

1234 I declare a thumb war 5678 I declare a thumb war 9101112 I declare a thumb war 13141516 I declare a thumb war 17181920 I declare a thumb war 21222324 I declare a thumb war 25262728 I declare a thumb war

I love getting killed

texting my teenage sister in the middle of the night to ask if im unc

christopher garlic was my father

they should invent a job that doesn’t suck

deespeakaboel meenyons

I wish I was playing a video game instead of do my job

when something good happens I say “what is this? Some kind of beautiful world or somethin?” And when someone bad happens I say “what is this? some kind of hell world or somethin?”

im a slut for wheat gluten

yup. its banana

I get pissed off every time I remember alfie oakes

where have all the reply guys gone and where are all the oomfs

which job should I get

would it be funny if I ran a sports betting scheme or nah

sober fructose corn syrup

I don’t believe that he really is the salsa king of chicago

garfield “9/11” CAT bed has GONE WOKE

they’re saying im the funniest person alive

elvis costello? Like from Sesame Street?

sometimes when im in a social situation i make the decision to be cool and chill and just not even giv e a crap and im just a cool guy

and they both enjoy doing drugs

also this thing showed up, he’s kinda quiet though I’m not sure what his deal is

in my mind being “fashionably late” means im showing up three minutes after the agreed time

I just want poop beer

im one of the only transgender shitposters

idk I think if you’re 24 and your name is Charles then you’re obviously a gay guy

im hooked on mewgenics i cant stop thinking about it

sometimes I say curse words to people I respect and I don’t even apologize afterwards 😈

help, help me :)

what if a animal could be a baby

green yellow make a new color call it grellow

I just want poop beer

im the poop guy.

just found out that this week people are taking the words of defying gravity and really holding space with that

im going to beat the gay allegations out of you

I just remembered about friendship

it’s illegal to be kinda of a weird little guy

ive never thought I could be so offline