Marty
@martybumbear.bsky.social
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So I yap less personally on my main -
@sapphiix.bsky.social
I should try messaging them again I miss them
7 months ago
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I feel somewhat stable again but god if Iām not sitting here wondering if I had any meaningful impact or am missed as much as they are to me
8 months ago
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Whatever worth I had as a person has clearly been used up because no one gives a fuck about me anymore
8 months ago
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No one would notice if I left I offer nothing to this world
8 months ago
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Absolutely do not like friend break ups though holy shit my ex fiancƩe telling me it was over somehow was easier to get over then this whole mess
8 months ago
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I just really miss Ki Iām not gonna lie I still catch myself finding memes and other reminders n stuff to send to them and having to stop myself and then not get in my head about it
8 months ago
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Just once I want to be able to tell someone they accidentally hurt me and they donāt react by - yelling at me itās my fault - leaving me - yelling at me and then leaving anyways
8 months ago
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I can tell medicationās working at least a little because Iām apathetic/able to do other things finally but god I wish it could bring back my sense of identity and comfort in ābeing meā
8 months ago
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I hate all of them. They all lied to me and arenāt worth the fucking effort. I hope they choke
8 months ago
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Psych appointment early tomorrow morning and I have so much dread Either they tell me Iām full of shit and I donāt get help/am just a bitch or they do and now I have the āwill snap at you eventually because I can never have enough attentionā disease and thatāll just excuse my shitty actions!!
add a skeleton here at some point
8 months ago
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8 months ago
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The more I google the more Iām convinced I probably suffer from quiet BPD, only symptom I /donāt/ have is self harm/risk taking Idk if itās worth bringing up to my psych/getting a diagnosis though. I canāt really afford therapy and I donāt think it can be medicated so Whatās The Point
8 months ago
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I feel insane. I want to improve I want to patch things up I want to heal and move on but how can I do that when not given a chance. I say Iām not being given a chance and Iām told I shouldnāt have messed up. I accept that fuck up and say alright itās been nice, now I should give them a chance
8 months ago
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The biggest thing I think that hurts me from all this is it really feels like people only wanted to work on it or move on /after/ I set the boundary. Not when I was admittedly falling on myself to fix it
8 months ago
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you reached the end!!
feeds!
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