I am not having the kind of sex I want and deserve.

I keep forgetting that I bought a bunch of tighty whities to tie dye.

I think I would survive The Thing, because I would just fuck it.

Winnie the Pooh-ing it at the kitchen counter

We have a pretty significant winter storm moving through today. Good news: The weather will be perfect for watching The Thing. Bad news: The weather will be perfect for watching The Thing.

Sunday scaries, unfortunately

This is where I'm meant to be

I don't have enough earrings that loudly announce my sexual identity (faggot).

Midwest winters late falls mean I'm a solid 8pm Saturday drunk at 5pm on a Sunday.

If I were truly evil, I would go back in time and take the entire brass section from every John Williams score.

In fact, make them all faggots.

I demand a remake of Being Human, but make the werewolf a faggot. It can even be Russell Tovey.

When it's sweatpants weather, but you also want your dick out

Tonight's redemption for my chicken and invisible dumplings from last night is Gruyère-crusted shepherd's pie

I spent all day working on a chicken stock only for my dumplings to be so tender that they fell apart from a gentle simmer.

Made a Detroit-style breakfast pizza with sausage, home fries, mozzarella, cheddar and sausage gravy.

Semi-hard Sunday

Not quite soft cock Saturday, featuring a fresh trim

Time for some Halloween hot tubbing!

It really should not be so difficult to find gay Bigfoot erotica.

When you realize the "bog cock" in the porn title is a typo:

I'm not the greatest at taking time off work. I have a whole week and I just don't know what to do.

Roga Danar would be such a beautiful name for a lesbian pirate queen.

There's a good pun somewhere in this picture, but I can't seem to find it.

Growing up, my dad was distant and emotionally unavailable. Wanna make out about it?

Now that my Halloween vacation has started, who wants to join me for a horror movie marathon?

Sunday semi

I really wish these came in more colors

Very happy that it's October, but very upset that it's still in the 80s outside.

Feeling festive for October!

Sometimes I feel like I need to take a week off work just to masturbate.

Nine more work days until a 4-day weekend at a cabin in the woods. Then, nine more work days until a week-long Halloween staycation.

Sunday softie

Best outfit for watching horror movies.

Finally got started on my vintage gay porn inspired tarot. Still in the very early stages.

Time for another 5mg and some Manhunter (1986).

I'm looking for inspiration for my next linocut project. I have window open with scans of medieval manuscripts and another with scans of vintage gay porn.

Summer Saturday evening outfit

If I had an awkward relationship with a step-dad, I think I would just fuck him.

Saturday night softie

I love that boxers exponentially increase the chance of a dick slip, but I hate the lack of support.

Saturday nights in your late 30s are for ordering art supplies and heirloom beans.

Time for a well-earned hot tub and beer session

What if you let me hold it while you pee and we're both boys?

Building up some wet spots

There's something so magical about peeing in sinks when you're tipsy.

Sometimes I'm a bit disappointed that our house isn't haunted.

Sunday scaries

Got invited to a monthly horror viewing group. Then I found out that they only watch contemporary, well-received, mainstream movies and no forgotten 70s-80s shlock!