See, I attend the Copay Conventions, where they actually give me a free cosplay costume, just as long as I tell people about InsureCo's reasonable out-of-pocket liability coverage.

It's called "giving back," folks.

Be sure to check here daily for more of my Halloween tips!

Of course, this is the first Browns game since 0-16 that I consciously choose to skip. -.-

Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

One day, I shall open up a chain of sex toy stores and name it "Whoreticulture."

Toofless.

Halloweiners.

Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

Toofless.

Halloweiners.

I'm considering installing a magazine torture rack in my study.

I'm considering installing a magazine torture rack in my study.

"Andre Szmyt’s leg is so powerful, he could kick an Englishman in the mouth and un-crooked his teeth." #Browns

Andre Szmyt's leg is so powerful, Superman had to change the name of the Fortress of Solitude to the Fortress of Please Don't Hurt Me. #Browns

Jerry Jeudy is the best #Browns pass-dropper since Greg Little.

One day, I shall open up a chain of sex toy stores and name it "Whoreticulture."

So the Last Flacction Hero, The Total Flaccage, has been traded to the Bengals from the Browns, meaning Flaccomania is running wild in Cincinnati where Flacco's gonna flacculate. (Sorry, had to use up all my saved Joe Flacco jokes while I can.)

I have to admit, I'm really enjoying this so-called, "World Wide Web".

When you need a team to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, call on your friendly neighbourhood Cleveland Browns.

Maybe the Vikings should have let Jean Luc Picard try that field goal instead of leaving it to first officer Will Riker. #Browns

"Andre Szmyt’s leg is so powerful, he could kick an Englishman in the mouth and un-crooked his teeth." #Browns

Reminder: All of my Andre Szmyt jokes today should be heard inside your head with an English accent. #Browns

Bubba Ventrone is the best special teams guru, ever. #Browns

Andre Szmyt's leg is so powerful, he can kick off the Super Bowl pre-game show in August. #Browns

Star Trek: Enterprise premiered 24 years ago today. You're old.

Star Trek: Enterprise premiered 24 years ago today. You're old.

I bet stoners love to refer to this time of year as "Halloweed."

I bet stoners love to refer to this time of year as "Halloweed."

Nature is so amazing. I love how this photograph of the sky looks like a cloud floating over a bag of cotton balls.

Nature is so amazing. I love how this photograph of the sky looks like a cloud floating over a bag of cotton balls.

The amazing thing is, before the season started, I asked ChatGPT and Copilot three times each to predict the Browns 2025 record, and all six times it had Cleveland beating the Green Bay Packers.

Andre Szmyt's leg is so powerful, he can run around the Earth and kick himself through the uprights from 55. #Browns

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

RIP Robert Redford

♫ We don't need no Flacculation... ♫ #Browns #PinkFloyd

Bronx Cheer in Baltimore.

Andre Szmyt's leg is so powerful, he can make an extra point *and* roundhouse kick Chuck Norris in the face. #Browns

Flaccxelence in Flaccxecution. #Browns

Flacculence in Flaccxecution. #Browns

Andre Szmyt's leg is so powerful, when snakes bite him, the snake dies. #Browns

I made Ricky Gervais chuckle today, and I have never felt more seen. 😅