them: oh, you brought your own clipboard? me: 🙂‍↕️

Would make a good catchphrase.

The Rest is Adverts has some of the most awkward promo reads. This week’s episode has Marina & Richard plugging horse racing and Bumble.

Throwback to when I was the quartermaster for Barbie and the spy squad.

I think Opalite would sound really good in Simlish.

Me every time I open my fridge and see my leftover Easter eggs.

Project Hail Mary takes place either in the Who-inverse or the Mandy-verse.

Lisa Kudrow plays Valerie in The Comeback with a brilliant mix of narcissism, vulnerability, strength, and naivety. She is infuriating, but we always want her to succeed.

Going round the far side of the Moon is basically like losing Radio 4 when you go through the Clyde tunnel.

Like the NASA astronauts, I too take photos of the moon with my iPhone.

Happy New Financial Year 🎇

You should put your clock forward another hour tonight. I dare you.

YouTube is def making it harder to find your subscription feed. It’s bizarre that "recommended" videos take priority over the channels I’m actually subscribed to! I reckon it’s because most YouTube users don’t actually subscribe to anyone.

I’m dreaaaming of a whiteeee Easter ❄️

Hello Dave

For breakfast I had home baked granola with yoghurt and fruit 👌.

The licensing fees for H.264 codecs are jumping from $100k to $4.5 million per year! But only for new licences. So if you’re planning to launch a new video streaming platform, you’ll be paying far more than the incumbents. www.tomshardware.com/service-prov...

I got my first Raspberry Pi (Model B) for about £30. And currently…

It’s Friday, good.

What percentage of fortune cookie fortunes do you think go undocumented on social media?

A trip to Edinburgh today 🚆

Got absolutely soaked on my walk 👌

Reminder that clocks go forward tonight and every other night for that matter, because that’s how they work.

Got called old by Apple

Meta is dropping encrypted messages from Instagram DMs from 8 May. Encrypted messaging should always be the default. Full stop. Help us get answers from Meta and sign Mozilla Foundation's petition here https://bit.ly/4uRD5JO

If I don’t go to bed by midnight my lights turn off.

One of the main reasons the new Harry Potter series retains the same set designs and style is due to contracts with theme parks and the WB studio tour attractions. They spent millions on them and they can’t afford for them to appear outdated.

Okay it was sleety snow earlier and now I’m having to put on my sunglasses?

I’m so glad The Comeback has come back.

A coffee and a banana is a great productivity combo and I recommend it.

MIKE.BMF

Good morning. I’m having tiger bread toast.

I think they’ll be pleased with that. And so they should be. #SNLUK

Could #SNLUK defy all expectations and actually be….good?!?

Do you remember when you first joined Tw*****? If my no-claims bonus can be transferred between insurance companies, I’m transferring my microblogging anniversary too. So, happy 18th to me 🎉

No matter how prepared you think you are. It is not enough

Yeah, sounds about right.

Something must have happened to this week’s intended task that they’d had to fall back and repeat a task! #TheApprentice

I’ve been listening to Sheryl Crow all afternoon, and it’s been a good choice.

Those TikToks that go “someone is getting fired for this” and it’s just a 5% off coupon. There’s no way HR are getting involved for that.

I have a version control joke, but you wouldn’t git it.

Today I uprighted all my neighbours wheelie bins that had fallen in the wind 🫡

A raspberry macaron is one of my five-a-day.

For years they said they were going to make DMs end-to-end encrypted. Now they’ve dropped it completely. If you don’t already know: Instagram DMs can be accessed by Meta - they’re not private conversations.

I’m covered in glitter and sweat, which is exactly what you’d expect after a Kesha gig.

Out today: Don't Steal This Book. I'm one of the co-authors of this (mostly) empty book. It's part of a protest against AI companies using authors' work without permission & compensation. The UK government is considering upending copyright law to benefit AI companies. This book urges them not to.

Today it would be good to have the Wallace and Gromit contraption to get up, get dressed, and have breakfast.

Quite an image on the BBC live page (www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cd...; no photographer credited). Sounds as if they've saved the station and the hotel, and more importantly, without loss of life. Citizens; heroes.

A terrifying fire, and seems to be getting worse. Devastating.