The more I look at the vanity fair portraits, the more it feels like malicious compliance. Yes we will photograph you and publish them, but they will be remarkably unflattering and there’s nothing you can do about it 🙃 those injection lips omg

I need people to remember that not everything is for everyone, and that’s totally ok. Actually it’s how the world should be, because hello individuality?? If it’s not hurting anyone, you don’t need to talk shit and yuck someone’s yum!

At what point will food network acknowledge Bobby flay and Brooke Williamson being basically married because watching them compete against each other and it not come up is so bizarre to me lmao he’s like so in my house at the holidays…as if they’re not spending them together?? 😂

Whenever I’m talking about job searching and someone suggests using Chat GPT to make it easier and I’m just like…easier how it’s wrong most of the time lmao the Google AI summary is frequently comprised of totally made up stuff plus it’s bad for the planet there is no upside?

NEW — I put together a list of independent journalism subscriptions that would make great holiday gifts. From music to politics, astronomy to alcohol, tech to social justice, there’s something for [almost] everyone. Support indie media *and* surprise and delight your loved ones! My guide:

First year I can remember that I didn’t make purchases for Black Friday/Cyber Monday. My family would go in the like late morning just for random stuff and then like see a movie. Became purely online shopping as an adult. And I just moved, I have tons I need, but no sale was really worth it 🤷🏻‍♀️

My parents used to host Thanksgiving for both sides of the family and we were also “bring anybody that needs a place!” kind of folks so we had about 50-60 people every year and I didn’t realize that was a lot for a long time lmao (my dad is 1 of 8, mom was 1 of 3 and most are in town)

Elevator is out of order, neighbor saw me with big boxes and offered to help carry if needed. Another neighbor helped hold the door open and chatted with me. While at my old place to get stuff, someone blocked my car in and there were multiple roaches by the door. Sooooo glad I moved lmao

I need people to understand that majority of students that are “granted” accommodations, don’t get them regularly, have to fight to keep them, or are shamed for using them. It’s a massive problem at public schools (in my experience) and mostly due to pure ignorance by staff which is the real issue.

My fave dispensary opened a new location way closer to my house, finally went today and yeah it was just as lovely as the one I normally go to yayyyyy

I thought there’s nooooo wayyyy that apple pocket thing is real, what do you mean they’re selling a piece of stretchy knit material for $150????????? And to announce it NOW with everything happening?? Beyond gross wtf

Special kind of privilege and audacity in the worst way to leave a cart right next to the collection area and yeah, I think the two people covered in Versace absolutely think they’re too good for the Trader Joe’s employees 🙄🙄🙄 and yeah, I’m glad they clocked the mean look I gave them haha

Lecturing myself for being annoyed by my package being delivered across the hall because what are the odds of two deliveries from the same place to the same floor and a 7 and 1 can definitely look alike. And mercury went retrograde yesterday so I really should know better lmao

Antonia and Alex partnering for this Tournament of Champions holiday special is quite literally perfect, they are basically the exact same person?? Also Sara and Damaris, like they’re so similar in cooking and personality I love this!!

Baseball continues to annoy me, I can barely muster interest in the padres right now knowing Stammen is literally just another yes man and this team will never win big with Preller in charge because he’s the worst 😔

Finding out that several of my closest homies were born during Mercury retrograde has made so much sense lol it like matches up well with my autistic tendency to over explain things and they don’t get annoyed by it because they appreciate + understand the complexities of communication struggles.

The new season of Bob’s Burgers is making me unexpectedly emotional? Like why am I tearing up at Gayle’s speech of self acceptance during her art performance wedding? Part of why I just love this show so much, that balance of heart and fun is so well done

I haven’t ordered from Amazon in forever, but had something come up while moving I needed fast. Tell me why they delivered it to the parking gate? So clearly they threw the package over. Instead of following the directions including the gate code?? And then added a photo in the clearly wrong place?

And yet another reason to not want to stay in the field of education. It’s a repeat costume! How much more clear can you get! We want to kill teachers now for a literal MADE UP LIE when five years ago we all said they were rockstars that deserved everything? I hate it here.

Literally report every political text I get as spam no matter what, unless it’s something I have signed up for myself you’re getting the delete and report spam immediatelyyyy

Moved into a new place a half mile away from where I’ve been living (major upgrade so far!) which is great because I’m actually closer to my favorite places now and don’t have to change my regular stores. And I have a balcony now. Wins all around!

JD Vance saying he hopes his wife converts is the exact same as the guy my cousin dated for 5 years + moved states for, telling her he never wants any religion around his kids but never told her because he thought she would leave. Lying like that is such a form of coercion and men are trash.

I just don’t know that anything will top Demi Lovato as Poot trying to escape the garage like I can’t stop laughing 😂😂😂

Still need people to get that evangelicals are so nutso that mourning death is “bad” like it’s considered questioning god and frowned upon. You’re instead to supposed to rejoice that they’re now in a better place/get to meet the lord. Wife wearing white is also definitely purity culture related

The seed oil fear mongering has so many places making swaps that I now have to ask about oils used due to my avocado allergy. It’s becoming almost impossible to eat out because of the lack of proper disclosure or care by many restaurants and my food allergy isn’t even life threatening 😔

Couldn’t stop laughing when a trivia team name “shohei ohtani fangirls” was read out loud and so many people in the bar grumbled under their breath that collectively it became an audible boo, like you know you’re in San Diego right? 🙄

Being the astrology friend means I get some very interesting questions at times hahaha also yes Pluto finally going direct in Aquarius is a big deal and I’m veryyyyy excited about it but also this week is the anniversary of my worst day soooo at least good astrology for that?

Luckily I don’t currently use anything on this list but Ensure and Orgain are super common brands I see everywhere so uh this is super concerning? How is this so unregulated for shit I buy at the grocery store? Didn’t we learn forever ago that lead is really bad?? Hello?!

Unfollowing every beauty creator posting ELF shit now as if since it’s been a few months we would all forget the Matt Rife disgusting ad and their non-apologetic response after?? Ew. Thanks for making it clear which of y’all just want a paycheck and which actually have moral standards

Nothing makes me go full Tyra “we were all rooting for you” faster than when a contestant on a competition show wants to quit because “it’s harder than they thought it would be” 🙄 so you’re telling me you thought winning tons of money and being fiercely judged was gonna be easy? WTF?

Just opened TikTok to one of my oldest friend’s sisters going viral on TikTok for drama at her bachelorette party and Trixie Mattel commented I’m dying lol they put her on Reddit so she made a TikTok to set the record straight lmaooo

Well. Instead it will be an angry rant about how everyone needs to be fired 🤬🤬🤬 silver lining, at least I’ll have more listening time for the new Taylor swift album lol (yes yes no ethical billionaires I know but I just cannot quit her)

Every Friday AM I go to Trader Joe’s and talk padres with one of the staff, have for like 5 years at this point. Haven’t been all month (couldn’t drive due to health reasons) and I’m really just hoping they pull off this win so I can go have a truly joyous chat with my TJ’s homie tomorrow haha

Show me the damn game not random fans who caught a ball OH MY GOD I HATE THIS

A Sparklett’s truck is completely blocking a driveway across from me and several cars, a lady has been honking and on her phone for like five minutes. The dude just moved the truck for her to pull out then immediately illegally and dangerously parked again 🤦🏻‍♀️

Apparently I was ahead of the trend, seeing all the pictures of women being like I’m older than Laura Loomer has been cracking me up today lmaooo

The padres won on both eclipses this month and then clinched today, the day after an eclipse, in extra innings, against a team that won their division? 👀

My cousin and her husband took their sons to the game last night, they concocted a plan to get a ball but only to give it to a very small child nearby 😭 they’re 11/13 and just the sweetest I cannot

I’m only 11 episodes away from being fully caught up with Ride, which I did start listening to because my cousin said I would love it, and what’s more ride coded than that?? Lmao

My little sister turns 30 today, my brain does not compute lol in my mind she’s literally still 12. Please tell me other oldest siblings get what I mean haha

New health issue: might have a cyst in my knee? And the good knee, not the knee I already had surgery on. Fabulous lol

It’s 2025 so if you mention Myers Briggs around me, I will immediately inform you the creator is a racist, the entire test system has zero founding in science of any kind, and it’s extremely problematic in every way. If you’re also the too woke friend, let’s be too woke together lmao 🫶🏼

My body has been mad at me all week, and whatever the chiropractor did to my knee worked wonders but my already messed up wrist is still nonstop causing problems. It’s only my dominant hand and muscle weakness where I can’t grip at all randomly, no big deal lol

An hour long delay??????? I just…an hour?! And we’re just supposed to be like ok whatever???

Giant hairy spider jumped out of my trunk and I screamed so loud, dude next to me immediately turned and when he saw it just goes “I got you”, kills it, zero mocking and just kind. Like this is the type of masculinity we need lol I hope whatever he got from the dispensary hits so well ❤️

Trivia category was computers/characters so I jokingly said Mavis Beacon right before the question was read. Then the question starts “what fictional character, created for a typing game…” and I immediately screamed and typed in the answer lmaooo

I can't believe he basically got people to Pokemon Go To The Polls.

Almost got in a full on verbal altercation with an old man in Costco this morning but was the bigger person and walked away. Later was told he was still making a face as we walked away but my friend knew better than to tell me in the moment lmaooo

The Padres had lost every game I went to the last few seasons until today, so I’m now considering myself officially not cursed lmao

Water lily weigh off videos are pretty much carrying my FYP right now lmao they’re delightfully unhinged and I will never skip a single one