@asewcialist.bsky.social How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? 💡 1 or 2? 1...or 2?

@asewcialist.bsky.social I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthesia. He said, "Go ahead. Knock yourself out."

To spell it out, the reason I hate democrats so much and criticize them more than I do republicans is because they take up all the space for opposition to republicans and use that space to give republicans whatever the fuck they want.

Liberals: don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good Me: yeah fair ok, show me the good Liberals: this isn't the time for fucking purity tests you little shit

Liberals love to say "you have to vote for democrats because they're the only thing standing between us and the fascist republicans" and then get real mad whenever somebody asks one to stand between us and the fascist republicans

@asewcialist.bsky.social What did Adam say the night before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve!

@asewcialist.bsky.social I fear being trapped in a small room with Santa. #Claustrophobia

@asewcialist.bsky.social What are the four most important elements in Dad Jokes? Sulphur (S), Argon (Ar), Calcium (Ca) and Samarium (Sm).

@asewcialist.bsky.social I used to teach origami, but I gave it up. Way too much paperwork.

The Chiefs got Dak with pressure early on for the pick. After that, he went 15/18 for 190 yds vs the blitz. 🥵

@asewcialist.bsky.social There's a new movie coming out about mobile homes. I just saw the trailer.

@asewcialist.bsky.social Have a hot dog and a beer mug for Halloween. frank & stein

@grittyjgritterson.bsky.social Saw you mention on Facebook about leftist community. Follow back, like we do on Twitter?

@asewcialist.bsky.social Dogs can bark up to 500 times a day. That's a ruff estimate.

@asewcialist.bsky.social To be frank, I'd have to change my name.

@asewcialist.bsky.social I asked a taxidermist what he does for a living. He said, "Oh, you know...stuff."

@cruisinsoozan.bsky.social Happy birthday!

@asewcialist.bsky.social It's so hot, our garlic took its cloves off. 🧄

@asewcialist.bsky.social I went to the store to pick up 8 cans of Sprite. When I got home, I realized I'd only picked 7 up.

Parmesan getting some sun for June.

@day-nuh-bee.bsky.social Hi Dana, Are you still part of Blogging The Boys?

@asewcialist.bsky.social What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to bed? Puts his pajamazon.

@asewcialist.bsky.social In England, they use a lift. Here, we use an elevator. Guess we were just raised differently.

@asewcialist.bsky.social Why did the geologist break up with Mt. Rushmore? It took him for granite.

@day-nuh-bee.bsky.social Thoughts on their picks, including UDFAs like Holden? www.si.com/college/oreg...

@asewcialist.bsky.social What's a plumber's least favorite vegetable? Leeks