mr palantir the world needs you!!! plz my wife isnt answering the phone help!!!a! i left the grocery list on the counter i know you can see it

trying to be the first guy to explode

fucken see you at the pantsoffdanceoff

*training* isnt the problem. a data center proposed in botetourt county VA is going to use 8 million gallons of water per day to operate. that's 2.9 billion gallons per year just to keep running. a square mile of farmland in VA uses less than 300 million gallons per year. VA has 560 data centers

wagering it all on a live broadcast occurring within the next decade of one of our leaders becoming a casualty of their own escaped turd

listen up little baby back in my day vacuums were opaque

"foids"

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

When I keep having to remove me headphones because someone keeps talking to me

playing a fun little game where you mess with my schedule and i slip pictures of flying cars with your home address written on the backs into your pockets

well well well if it isnt the Brown Note Brothers

gromlin

heck off commie

wild moon toad encounter

here at the department of war we are dedicated to ensuring victory and the destruction of our enemies which is why we have made the decision to rename missiles to hittiles

top hungry for sleepios

trump doesn't hate immigrants, he married one ass butt shit

i dodged a checkpoint dui because the state forgot to tell me i didn't have a license

upstair hamper toss gold medalist

We killed 85 schoolgirls. We are not the good guys.

I hope Donald Trump dies. Moderators: I hope Donald Trump dies.

life threatening wild encounter

time to chew ass

post old memes to confuse young people

honey do you need anything from the ove fart store

game idea- at your family reunion, you are infamous party pooper up to no good in the bathroom/closet (hard drug, tall sandwich, jork, data mine, big poop,etc) but oops you're bleeding out 60 sec to hide evidence, 60 sec for family search(use your ghost powers to deceive) call it red dead redemption

need more pavement free wild encounters

been a while since a wild encounter

an AR-15 costs less than two sticks of RAM. this is a market economy establishing an incentive structure

HE: 74A 74B 74C what are we talking about we're talking about EXITS we got 1 2 3 and A goes downtown B goes downtown and C goes downtown all go downtown but the exits the EXITS are BACKWARDS we're gonna see C first and A is last and TOLLS what are we talki- driver: mr enten pls we missed them again

WOKE ICE: oh no our car has broken down immigrant: oh no i will help you WI: HAHAHA WE TRICKED YOU NOW GET IN THE COUNTRY here is your instantly approved citizenship paperwork for being a great guy and a coupon for one free gender

anyone know what day the 2024 presidential election was held

for anyone stressed about how high the bar is this valentine's day- i regret to inform you my child made all his cards with top secret personalized drawings and messages

telling my kids we aren't going to mars because musk got into a fight with richard branson about whether we should rename mars to big or epic saint james

avatar should've just been a tv show

one of my strongest beliefs is that we're in our situation right now bc some of the most prominent talking heads (e.g. joe rogan, andrew schulz) are learning about politics in their 40s and 50s, instead of their teens and early 20s, and we have to go along for the ride as they learn basic things

the secret to a long and healthy relationship is good communication

lowes not understanding how to manage or create digital receipts to print yourself in this day and age is criminal. im out here fighting for my life for a piece of paper to get my $13 back and they're asking if it needs more crayon scribbles between the lines to get these 200 characters to page 6

oh, netflix is just explicitly ads for kids now

you know what they always say: pedo wife, pedo life

gestapo running around midlothian today #ice

this is the kinda shit people need to have printed large enough so it's all these freaks see on their death beds. congrats idiot you somehow made it to the end despite being anti life and civilization, your life's work was ruining other people's lives for fun. don't like it? quit breathing already

blaming the lack of precipitation on data centers boiling the air above nova

we were told 3 dirty's and didn't get half a stinky

Bill Watterson is my favorite cartoonist. I adored the relationship btw Calvin and Hobbes as a child. But as I've gotten older, these strips feel even more tender and insightful. My respect for him grew when I learned of his stance against merchandising. Such principles are almost unheard of today.

hello donald this is your liver speaking. i am advising you today to please keep popping this shit