GLP-1 truly got me eating like the 70s Vogue wine and egg diet 😅

I can’t quite explain it, but seeing my husband wear blue jeans, just emphasizes his golden retriever to my black cat 🤣

Once again, I have Sunday Fun Day-ed too hard. Please send thots and prayers.

I retract my statement. The ends justify the means 😈

The Housemaid is fucking wild… and I’m not sure I like it.

I realize I’m late to the party, but can we talk about Brandon Sklenar? 🥵

To whomever left a trail of pizza crusts two blocks long, I hope you never know peace and your heartburn is infinite. Signed, An Annoyed Dog Dad.

Just spent the last two hours restructuring a contract 🙃

Doing French immersion to improve my comprehension and conversation while editing in English and Spanish is making my brain tired 😅

It’s my least favorite day of the year. I will be offline as much as possible to avoid the incessant ragebait of this ridiculous day.

How much caffeine is too much caffeine? Asking for me 😅

First patio drink of the season with @gothamgay.bsky.social

Two weeks until @gothamgay.bsky.social and I are on a plane to Paris!

Project Hail Mary hit all the highs and lows for me. Stress? Check. It’s space. Humanity? Check. But I was not expecting the interpersonal element to hit me in the feels. 9.5/10 for me.

Saturday night Zepbound shot is certainly a choice… 😅

To the tall, cute boy with piercings who complimented my “I’m coming to the cottage” shirt:

Always a sad state of affairs when there is no Cherry Coke Zero 🥲

My brain is mush today. I just read “supplies” as “sooplees” and couldn’t understand what the word meant 😅

Decided that my first insanely ambitious project in Pokémon Pokopia will be to build New Island for Mewtwo to live on 😅

Today was one of those days at the gym in which I have zero energy and two blisters that are very mad at me, but I showed up and did something. Not my best work, but we’ll try again tomorrow.

Not really sure what “doof doof” means, but I’m here for it 🪩

It’s very rude that my body gives me a hangover for drinking an absurd amount of wine when I only had a protein shake and passed hors d’oeuvres to eat all day 😅

Good. Lordt. The conductor on the Metro North right now could run a train on me 🥵

If I say, “Little Latin boy in drag, why are you crying?” and you don’t get the reference, we cannot be friends.

“I do not need wine. I do not need wine.”

Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t snap at random strangers.

Today is one of those days where people breathing wrong annoys me and I’m trying not to roll my eyes so hard it gives me a migraine 🙃

I keep hoping to see the Big Beautiful Obituary… sigh, another day we wait.

Kpop Demon Hunters winning an Oscar is perfection.

At a straight bar and I swear the playlist could be labeled “ADHD White People Addicted to TikTok.” 😅

Locker room thoughts: I will never understand the affinity heterosexual men have for boxer shorts.

It was 70°F yesterday. And today it’s snowing. Winter, you’re a cunt.

It’s 2026. The world is getting warmer every year. Wear deodorant for fuck’s sake.

Ready to clock in to my shift as a Pokopian Ditto Ecologist 🤓

Today has been a day. I looked up and haven’t even responded to emails from yesterday 🥲

69° in Central Park today means you’ll see mounds of snow still melting, but also gay men in speedos getting their first sun of the year 😅

Trying so hard not look up spoilers for Pokémon Pokopia…

I did the needful.

I have 37 mins left in my work day and I am… checked out.

Snap saw it first 😜🥵

About last night… Dancing under a disco ball with a gaggle of gays is worth the Monday hangover.

Sunday Funday-ed a little too close to the sun. Monday is gonna hurt 😅

Kodi Floofborn of House Patz, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Huskies and First Wolves, Protector of the Five Boroughs, the Mother of Dust Bunnies, the Khaleesi of the Great Couch Cushion, the Unbrushed, the Breaker of Leashes, requests your felicitations on the twelfth anniversary of her birth.

Oh, look. Waking up to another absolute shit show…

Ok, I might have to get Pokémon Pokopia…

The sweaty, mid-stretch selfie you’re accustomed to seeing 😛 down 8 lbs in a month thanks to Zepbound

To the gay boys at the gym rn doing what can only be described as a booty blaster workout: thank you for your service 🥵

Morning meetings really throw off my vibe cuz I can’t use my favorite swear mugs on camera 🥲

I did not watch nor will I be engaging with any content regarding Mango Mussolini’s State of Delusion address.

If you don’t moan with pleasure at the first sip of coffee, are you even living?