Entered the year sick. Leaving the year sick.

This is true and I was the only one on set excited about it (and playing the song on my phone to blank stares)

I should not have gone back to work today. Holy fuck

I don't get the hype. I've had a big titty goth GF for over 5 years now and I haven't been conscripted to sack Rome even once.

Please...I am tired of existing as a 140lb petri dish. Get these bacterial colonies the fuck out of my larynx.

I am only able to communicate through text. My voice is completely gone.

Currently at the funeral for the penny, happening at the Lincoln Memorial:

I'm putting the narrative puzzle game I was working on in the shredder. It's just a story that can't exist in today's zeitgeist.

TIL content settings don't apply through thumbnails displayed in your notifications tab. Bug or just a feature my dumb ass didn't toggle correctly?

Make no mistake, I'm not getting shit done myself. I am just a meat suit today being piloted by a cocktail of caffeine, phenol, dextromorphan and acetaminophen.

Hate going to work sick, but staying home isn't going to make this customer less persistent.

Work west of home and you'll always have the sun at your back...right until your rear view mirror throws that shit right back in your face.

This feels like the setup for a Scooby-Doo episode.

It's been a minute since my last overnight shift on rideshare and boy it shows.

Occam and Hanlon ordered their last razors from Dollar Shave Club

Peanut, you gluttonous fucking dumbass...

Revenge is a dish best served silly. Make them laugh as they curse your name atop the ashes of their failed ambitions.

Yep. Sleeping on the floor sucks as bad as I remember

Somehow tore a hole in the air mattress. Guess I'm sleeping on the floor for the foreseeable future.

>5am alarm goes off >swipe phone and see thermometer >41 degrees Nope.

What? We're they storing the number of violations in one half of a byte and only banning people when it overflowed into surrounding data?

Had a dream a homeless man asked me how many electronvolts I was, and I replied with "What? As in like...caloric content? Or total mass energy?"

Our debut title, sword action shooting game BIRDCAGE, is out now! Shoot, slash and weave through bullets and enemies in this challenging, story-driven arcade shooter!🕊️🥚 store.steampowered.com/app/2158550/...

Ban pronouns. Force everyone to converse and correspond entirely in the third person. There, Sera fixed the problem.

I can't be the only one that read that as PEEN Entertainment...

First day at a new job and my playlist decides to throw Sleep Talk Metropolis at me as I'm pulling into the parking lot.

1

Oh right. Birds. I forgot about that detail living here.

Loneliness has

Are we at the level of metafuckery yet where there are artists mimicking AI generated images and intentionally adding to their work both idiosyncrasies that are endemic to the generation process and personal touches that are difficult to prompt on?

Today I learned there are different words for throwing someone out of an open window as opposed to a closed one. Ain't english grand?

Electrical Engineering in a nutshell: Electrons would like to be in the dirt, and you would really rather they weren't. Solution? Build an obstacle course for them to run through and tell them that if they're really good, maybe they can go be in the dirt. Then just let nature take its course.

Female Passenger, about to get out of my car: Ok good night~. I love your goatee. My dumbass: Thanks. You too. Fuckin' kill me.

No. Fuck off. If I see another goddamn padoru in the second week of September, I'm going to crash out.

Aint nobody fresher than my mf clique #sf6 #capcom #BlackCosplay #blerd #StreetFigher6 #juri #Kimberly #bison #chunli #dhalsim #CCE2025

I don't want to lose my light

Author of the Hugo-nominated New York Times Leastseller "Don't Create the Torment Nexus" reportedly to publish sequel titled "Kids Love the Torment Nexus, and Here is Why That's a Problem"

Something Awful posters in 2025

⚠️Asking for help⚠️ From my IG stories, im at 100/550. Anything is greatly appreciated 🙏🏿 www.paypal.me/Lizzytomania

I'm just saying, if an LLM starts talking shit to you, just crack back with the story about how you spent an entire semester in college doing their mom (Linear Algebra).

Snake-in-the-Box Problem xkcd.com/3125/

Hungry....

Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug. I caught myself making small talk with a passenger and straight up saying both that I am unemployed and working 60 hours a week doing rideshare in the same breath. I don't even know which one is the lie anymore.

Fuck did I just completely miss EVO?

Gizmo has me literally by the throat and he's making biscuits.

Lockscreen chain. My better half has the other half

Respec your elders. They've been running the same build since the 70s and need help adapting to today's meta.

Termite season? Deal with termites. Right into Flea season? Deal with fleas. Right into spider season? Deal with spiders. THEN I NOTICE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS MOVED IN THIS MORNING

*gasp* But that's only 1/30th of a fortnight!