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Not a Lobster I believe that every couple should have a go-to fight, something to bicker about that doesn’t really matter to either party. It lets you get the feisty out without hurting feelings. Ours was my grandmother’s copper lobster mold. 

Such Pretty Red Flags He did me wrong, but I did me wrong, too. I braided his red flags into my hair like ribbons, wore them with the same pride I had worn his jacket, because they were his, and I believed he was mine.

Curses & Cures I will always curse the relationship that she actively weaponized against me. His infidelity is a rot festering in the roots of their foul union.

Psychotic Little Drama Gremlin I know there can be no peace for him while this psychotic little drama gremlin is in his life. It is a little unfair, though, that it doesn’t seem like I’ll have any peace until she’s out of his life either. 

I’ve Lost a Friend It finally clicked for me. I was fighting so hard to stay friends with this person who I didn't even like. I've seen behind his mask and I am not impressed.

A Woman Scorned I couldn’t swallow any more anger down. I tried. I still needed my friend, but I also needed some space between myself and the ongoing pain having him in my life caused. When I finally took a step back it was like stepping off a landmine. Kaboom.

Boundary Issues Late night texts after the break up hit very differently. I had to deal with him texting, “I miss you,” as he built something with someone else.

The Fatal Blow I had to process the breakup and the new girl all at once. I was still licking my wounds, too raw to talk to anyone about my loss, when I got a text from my daughter asking about his girlfriend

So What Happens Now? I will miss what was and what almost was. It felt like we were really great together. I'll find new things to look forward to, though.

Saudade Summer I could not separate my memories of Portugal from the pain of this betrayal. It made it difficult to take my travel blog notes and make them anything other than a scream.

Miles From Nowhere “If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station. The longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.” Breakups let you off at that nearest station. I still didn't know where I was going, but at least I wasn't on the wrong train anymore.

The Last Night I nodded off. I woke up. He rolled over and put his arm around me.

BDE I don’t know what was so confusing to him about me being less soft. Earlier that afternoon he had confirmed my worst fears.

Heartbreaker His sense of humor is malicious sometimes. He likes to set people up to be mad at him and then flip the situation so that we’re foolish instead. Except this flip didn’t work.

Without Him I tried to go to bed without him, but the thought “without him” coagulated, forming a lump in my throat. I was used to going to bed without his body next to mine, though not in this room.

As a broke young adult living with my boyfriend Planned Parenthood was an absolute lifesaver. They provided free effective birth control (why I never needed an abortion). More than that though, they were the only place I could afford treatment when I had problems like UTIs and strep throat.

Republicans have just proposed defunding Planned Parenthood nationwide. In doing so, they are telling women and people across the country that our healthcare doesn’t matter and that we are undeserving of care. It’s time to stop this bill in its tracks.

We Need to Talk I tried to do my job, to act normal. I just wanted to know what was going on. The sooner he told me what was going on, the sooner we could fix it.

As it Began I’d had to fly halfway across the world to convince myself to just take the W. Yeah, he could have chosen someone beautiful, or brilliant, someone who had mastered all the social graces. He didn’t though. He chose me.

If you live in one of these states, call your governor and THANK THEM for fighting to Save AmeriCorps: AZ, CA, CO, CT, DE, HI, IL, KY, ME, MD, MA, MI, MN, NV, NJ, NM, NY, NC, OR, PA, RI, VT, WA, WI + Mayor Bowser in DC Not on the list? Call your governor and ask them to join and Save AmeriCorps

Signs I might be a writer- I emailed my boss this morning because I am staying home with a migraine. It is a two sentence email to let her know I won't be in and why. I changed the adjective for my headache from pounding, to throbbing, to stabbing, to crushing.

Peace Corps is our big sibling! John F. Kennedy said: we'll do it abroad and then we'll do it at home. We're in this fight together as family www.peacecorpsconnect.org/stand-up-for...

Level Up The One isn’t something you find, it’s something you build. Through intimacy and shared memories over the years you create a relationship that no other relationship compares to, not because fate decreed it but because you both did the work

DOGE claims to promote efficiency, yet forced 750 NCCC members to end their service terms early - leaving projects unfinished and costing tax payers a tremendous amount of money. How efficient is a half-dug ditch?

You’re My Home I wasn’t single, but I wasn’t engaged either. I was still independent, making my decisions with personal growth prioritized over partnership.  It’s just I wanted to share it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly, with the Work Bestie.

Bucket List I think every writer wants to create a legacy that will outlive them. I mean, maybe not in such a way that our creations move into a Lisbon hotel, embroil themselves in a love triangle, and play passive spectator to the beginnings of the Spanish Civil War, but in some less tangible…

Modern Love This was going to be the last summer I spent missing him. Long distance just isn’t sustainable, especially with a man who has no object permanence. It feels like everything out of sight is instantly out of mind with him.

What If? The Work Bestie reassured me that he usually gets what he wants, adding that sometimes it just takes him a little while to realize what that is. 

The Drums of Óbidos I had entered a time machine, not to medieval Portugal, but to my own youth in 20th century California. When the drums played in Óbidos, I could close my eyes and picture the parade at my Renaissance Faire

With my laptop dead I can’t easily write story ideas. So last night I made my (adult) children come to my bedside when I realized I needed to put the idea somewhere so I could sleep. It was a slightly disjointed outline of a bedtime story, but it got the job done.

I don’t consider myself a “real” writer. I mean, yeah, I write. I’ve even had bylines, but never a paycheck for my writing.

Something More When we were together, it was something that just fit, like hand in glove, like neck in guillotine. We nearly killed each other, unable to keep our hands off of one another on a hot summer afternoon. https://crystaltorres.com/2025/03/13/something-more/

I'm an antisocial curmudgeon, but I subscribe to a newsletter about gathering, because reasons. Well, anyway, this one was particularly good. www.priyaparker.com/art-of-gathe...

In Translation I'm curious by nature. I was only there for two months, split between two cities. That's not long enough for me to do more than flirt, even if I wasn't in a committed relationship. Still, I can't help but wonder where the line… https://crystaltorres.com/2025/03/06/in-translation/

Harmless Flirting Crushes are like kryptonite for my rizz. If I’m actually into somebody I forget how to word. I fluster and fumble and can’t do anything right. Admiring, I am good at, but wanting someone, it’s too much. I can’t flirt like that.. 

See ALL the Things! Part 2 Everything about this place is chanting, "too much is never enough." I'm not mad though. The library may be what heaven looks like in my readerly mind.

See ALL the Things! Part 1 As a starving student, with a demanding job, enduring a record breaking heatwave, I still managed to see and do so much without even leaving the city.

Bad at Words he interrupted with, “Let’s get married then.” And it took a couple of beats with me going on about what I had been saying about how he’s had plenty of time to figure out if he likes me before that sentence really hit.

Language Lessons My ability to thrive, to immediately acclimate, in a non-English speaking environment was greatly exaggerated in my daydreams of travel. My efforts seemed to be regarded as charming but useless in most interactions. Many Europeans are better at speaking English than I am at…

I accidentally misquoted the Cheshire Cat, and then had to create this abomination.

Sometimes, just taking up space without apology is an effective act of rebellion.

More than Words There are no shortcuts to a great relationship. Things are always rosy in the beginning, but if you’re lucky, and willing to put in the effort, over time you can build something really solid. Some destinations are worth going the long way.

This post on linked in made me happy to know that I wasn't just doing it wrong, and terrified to see that this is just the job market. www.linkedin.com/posts/angela...

Elsewhere on the internet I found myself arguing with old friends about deportation. This old saying came up so I made a little graphic for emphasis.

Gotta Dance I’ve never been good at small talk under the best of circumstances. I really didn’t have it in me that night. Also, music. They were playing danceable music. If there is music, I dance.

The last time I went into a new year thinking, “this is gonna be my year,” was 2020. We know how well that ended. Oddly though I’ve gone into 2025 thinking, “this is gonna be the year that I make 2026 my year.” I like that so far.

Please harken to this cartoon of wisdom, my friends, followers, and random scrolllers-by. If your mood is terrible, check your own physical state before trying to help others.