If Keith Siegel had $57,851 for every day he was in captivity, he'd still be $116 short of the payday Melania got for the documentary she pimped while she was supposed to be speaking with Keith Siegel about his 484 days in captivity.

important update

Windsor some, loser some

Bold

Bari Weiss is Chaya Raichik minus the journalistic credibility.

Until yesterday this picture conveyed 100% "Aryan Jon Lovitz As Tommy Flanagan" but now its purity has been adulterated by "Girls for the Win!"

I feel like getting the dudes who demand government issued girlfriends out of the gene pool might be one of those problems that solves itself

Calling it a "video about possible fraud" implies that Shirley uncovered evidence of potential fraud. But he didn't. So what the fuck are you doing here.

is it woke to arrest child pornographers

the number of men in power who sound like this right now (whiny): oh now it’s illegal to have a man crush on a pedophile this is such woke bullshit

Trump: I'm taking my ball and going home. Other kids: It's not your ball?

I have no idea who three of these people are. A friend of mine did a bunch of cocaine with the fourth one.

Chotiner shot that man right in the face with his own gun and he never heard the *click*.

Trump: I hear fantastic things. My wife: Did you mean you hear fartastic things.

Ezra Klein says Trump 2.0 is a failure by every metric, but I have a feeling that "signing an executive order" is going to be the most successful new slang term for taking a poop in decades.

So basically there are hundreds of dudes in the Epstein files but Prince Andrew is the only one who actually did anything bad?

"A longtime resident of the Rio Grande Valley, Ochoa had for years dreamed of working for the Border Patrol and finally landed a job there...By the time the couple split...he had become a gun enthusiast with about 25 rifles, pistols and shotguns, Angelica Ochoa said." Huh wonder why they split.

Which way, leftist man.

The most hilarious revelation so far in the William F. Buckley biography is that Buckley's first publisher, a free-market individualism absolutist, was an antisemitic nepo baby who despite having inherited a fortune had to have Buckley's daddy front him $3000 just to get the slim volume published.

But I thought those conniving Wambsgansses always came out ahead?

You would think the federal government indiscriminately launching a barrage of tear gas at a peaceful protest filled with children would merit more prominent coverage, @peterbakernyt.bsky.social.

Not sure if it's ironic or fitting that a president who can't tell the difference between Willie Brown and Jerry Brown is developing a dystopian facial recognition law enforcement regime.

More like Howard Slutnick.

So basically Lutnick was like, oh, you're a grown man who gets happy endings from a masseuse? Disgusting! I can't be around that! Oh, wait, you're a convicted sex offender with a penchant for minors? Let's have dinner on your private island! I'll bring my kids!

Yeah but what if the Melania movie was called Seven Samurai instead? And then when you went to see it they just showed you Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 masterpiece Seven Samurai? I bet you liberals would *love* it then. Typical.

I only discussed adult women with the child rapist.

People who declined to watch Schitt's Creek during COVID lost their goddamn minds. People who watched it tended to maintain their sanity. Catherine O'Hara is the reason humanity still has hope.

You have a generalization problem.

This fuckin guy wouldn't know nuance if it tied him to a rack and stretched him to 5'2" but sure, fake magazine, report this as news.

Which Rambo is it the origin story of, the one who cried after being bizarrely attacked by small town conservatives despite having served in a war they supported, or the one who thought the only problem with Vietnam was that they didn't napalm enough kids?

Sure Trump is bad, but what about people who refuse to break down their boxes for recycling. Just leaving big ass boxes in a box shape, 3-4 times a week.

Fluff yeah

The scoop is that he wasn't hatched in a lab.

Mike Johnson update

Love how the New York Times uncritically accepts the implication that it is a bubble.

The strictly business-brained NFL exec who months ago foresaw the February 2026 vibes and then hired Bad Bunny

But have you spoken with everyday Americans about their takes on health and science

Aw man if they'd captured this footage for her documentary we'd be looking at gilded mantle full of Oscars.

Why is everyone acting like "Commander at Large" is a real job title and not a joke some aide made that DHS took seriously.

What part of your job do you enjoy? The snacks?

The cost of living in Minneapolis is moderate but not cheap. Not sure how far $50k will stretch.

Cocaine is a hell of a thug

What if Rudy Giuliani were a ghost butler

They're deeply frustrated by the fallout, but just fine with the fatal shooting.

who the fuck sends out a formal invitation for an all-hands meeting

Hearing Greg Bovino has been carried off by a hawk

At first I was all for piling on ICE, but I feel guilty now that they can no longer find joy in murdering people.

Imagine being so afraid of Green Day you'd pretend Santa Clara is further away than Davos just to avoid being in the same stadium with them.

Bitch you just went to Switzerland