Preserving humans to harness the electricity generated by brain activity makes no sense. A more believable premise for 'The Matrix' would have been that the machines enslaved humanity because they realized that no one would be able to solve captchas if they didn't.

Cybersecurity Awareness Month, sponsored by Cyberdyne Systems.

Grab a linear algebra textbook, and as you read, ask yourself if a computer that could do matrix multiplication would have a mental experience. If the answer is "no," consider: what if it did A LOT of matrix multiplication? Still no? That's why I say ChatGPT doesn't have a mind.

I wonder if the fact that all I've eaten today is 60 calories of broth is why I'm having trouble focusing on my work?

One thing I don't see mentioned enough in the push to get people to install Linux on Windows 10 PCs that can't upgrade to 11: the user will likely see a noticeable performance boost. Linux FLIES on every old and low-end machine I've ever put it on. (11, meanwhile, is even less performant than 10.)

You don't need to understand the math behind large language models in order to get that they are not minds. The next time you meet someone who believes ChatGPT knows anything, experiences perception, has motivations, or forms opinions, show them this video.

You asked me to pre-pay my portion of the fee which you knew because I gave you my insurance information over the phone, and you made me scan my insurance card on your website before my appointment, but you need to physically scan my insurance card in the lobby, too? Uh huh, yeah, sure you do.

Me: I'll bet you can really tell when someone didn't do their colonoscopy prep. Gastroenterologist: Yeah, no shit.

Crivelli, the most obscure Ninja Turtle.

An elaborate house of charades. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

I suspect "I work better under pressure" is often a misidentification of "I only work under pressure."

In order to minimize the chance of being locked out of your account by a hacker, take steps to proactively lock yourself out of your own account. Follow me for more #infosec tips!

Tech bro: How do you expect us to destroy your job if we can't take all of your data for free to train our AI?

I swear, if I were any more forgetful,

We have to let go of the idea that it only counts if it's difficult.

Look, it's easy to take shots at iOS 26 and Liquid Glass, but I will be the first to admit, if I was responsible for refreshing the visual design of a major operating system like Alan Dye has this year, I would be completely out of my depth. In other words, Alan Dye and I have a lot in common.

Be the quote you wish to misattribute to Gandhi.

Be the delay you wish to see in the project schedule. I think Gandhi said that.

Some of the best traps for my imagination are vacant spaces in public—a bare foundation, a ruined building, an old staircase leading to an empty lot. What was here? How long has it been since it was here? How long ago was whatever it was *good*?

Vibe coding is just the single-player campaign of Agile.

Things don't always go as planned, so it's a good idea to have three to six months of excuses saved.

"That's not funny!" Then why did I laugh?

If worse comes to shove. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

Kicking ass and taking your song requests and dedications. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

Has your corporate IT security team hired a bad actor intent on industrial espionage? If an infosec professional in your company says, "The added security benefit isn't worth the performance hit" about any setting or software, you know you're dealing with an imposter.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but the Constitution can be wrong. The founders literally said so.

LinkedIn guy: Where others saw a trolley problem, I saw a trolley opportunity…

Me: My self-actualization goals are modest. I just want to get to where I’m using 11% of my brain. Therapist: You know that thing about people only using 10% of their brains is a myth, right? Me: Oh, totally. I want to get DOWN to only using 11% of my brain.

Trump describes Portland as “war-ravaged,” but it won’t be until his Department of War goons arrive to ravage it. Notably, though, after that, for the first time in his life someone might accurately be able to report having been ravaged by Trump.

"Why do people feel entitled to my attention?" he mused publicly on social media.

"Oh, do you mean BELIZE nuts?" –Me, fifteen minutes before being fired on my first day teaching geography

Lies, damned lies, and LinkedIn notifications.

Hegseth is brining together hundreds of admirals and generals next week and I bet he doesn't even say, "I expect you're wondering why I've gathered you all here today." This administration is worse than clueless.

I'm as trustworthy as a gray market Windows activation code.

The exception that proves the pudding. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

All Linux tutorials are wrong. Some Linux tutorials are useful.

Them: 70. Me: Nicer.

[Max googling] Why was Fred Durst so into gnocchi?

The Paperclip Maximizer thought experiment isn't a warning about the future of AI; it's an allegory about the present of capitalism. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Instrum...

I'm really into vintage stuff. Old music. Classic books. The right to vote. Things like that.

I have a colonoscopy scheduled for next week. The shitposting will be epic.

Taking acetaminophen, just to not feel something.

In the wake of the announcement of the 500+ yesterday, I saw someone lament how far Raspberry Pi has gotten from their roots. But I prefer to think of it as how far they’ve come. In 2020, a Pi 4 or 400 could be your computer*†‡. In 2025, a Pi 5, 500, or 500+ could be your computer, full stop.

Radical leftist talking points, such as "People should be paid for the work they do" and "Treating diseases is good, actually."

Seven out of ten users of X, the Everything App™️, agreed with the statement "Hating AOC is an acceptable substitute for having a personality."

My post was returned with an NSF notice (non-sufficient funny).

So near, yet so very close. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

Actions speak louder than words, words speak louder than scissors, scissors speak louder than actions. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

If someone you know decides to join ICE, I think the most patriotic thing you can do is to celebrate their brave decision by posting their name and picture on social media.

I've been taking Tylenol for years and I haven't given birth to a single autistic baby.