If the sign-up screen says your password isn't strong enough, try adding a quadruple shot of espresso. Follow me for more #infosec tips!

I no longer recall when or where I first heard the phrase "suffering delusions of adequacy," but I do know it has lived rent-free in my head ever since—initially as the funniest thing I'd ever heard, before transforming, through decades, into an autobiographical epiphany that I want badly to unhave.

I'm not enough of a playboy to pull off this robe. Wearing it feels like stolen velour.

🎶 Cloning time Time for you to go out To the place where copies come from…

If I accomplish nothing else today, that will probably come as a surprise to no one.

Apple's success have been driven by their biggest hit product, iPhone, which they continue to relentlessly push forward and improve year after year. Google's success has been driven by their biggest hit product, Google Search, which they continue to relentlessly bastardize and run away from.

With ceasefires like these, who needs war?

TGIF: Thank God It’s Friday. IWWTF: It’s Wednesday? What The Fuck?!

Apples has a watch and a wallet. They are reportedly working on spectacles. This leaves one very big hole in their product matrix. Or make that *two* very big holes.

If it's no longer a faux pas to paste a link to a paywalled article, it's also no longer a faux pas to react to and discuss the article based only on its headline.

When I was a child, and didn't understand much about how things worked, I was astonished that I could hold a seashell up to my ear and hear the sound of the ocean. This is not a post about seashells. Or me.

My favorite horologist has *finally* gotten around to making a podcast. It's about time!

"Upgrade to macOS Tahoe" says my Mac that was released six months after macOS Tahoe, that originally shipped with macOS Tahoe installed, and that to date has never run or even supported any other version of macOS.

Actually, it's pronounced "gith-ub."

Yes, I saw the notification from Teams that you started the meeting eight minutes early, and I am NOT TAKING THE BAIT.

Office and retail facilities managers rejoice at the announcement of the invention of zero-ply toilet paper.

How many of the people who are currently saying no one should learn to code (because AI) are also the people who were saying, just a few years ago, that everybody should learn to code (because jobs)?

By 2030, we pledge to transition 100% of our operations from fossil fuels to turtle power.

🎶 And I said "What about 'Move fast and break things?'" She said "I think I remember that line and As I recall, I think We thought they were douchebags." And I said, "Well that's the one thing we've got."

Debt collector, noun: a person or business who harasses the poor on behalf of predators.

Lego Joker >>> Leto Joker.

Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of sternly-worded social media replies.

"Why would you bring a child into this world?" Because I haven't given up on this world yet.

He had a thousand-yard Care Bear stare.

My favorite variety of apple is Red Delirious.

Apple announces new Bluetooth powdered wig, HairPods.

Every other social network: catastrophizes post editing. Mastodon: has post editing for a decade and it's fine. (Also, I don't see the one safety mitigation on this list that is most important: NOTIFY PEOPLE WHO HAVE PREVIOUSLY INTERACTED WITH THE EDITED POST.)

You say, "psychological horror story about being the last person alive on earth," I say, "cozy introvert novel." Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

It is good to apologize when you transgress, but it's also important to remember that forgiveness is emotional labor.

Momentary prolapse in judgment.

I want a Meta Ray-Ban. Hold the Ray.

When you first meet me, I'm often slow to warm up. Once I do, though, I'm still not interested in hanging out.

I'm grateful that we didn't elect the candidate who was "also part of the problem." I guess we really dodged a bullet there, didn't we? www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

If Democrats don't win big in the midterms, things will get 100 times worse. If Democrats do win big in the midterms, things will only get five, maybe six times worse.

My password manager? 'Tis B'twarden, m'lady.

They say that Donald Trump cares only about himself, and not at all about his fellow Republicans. But no one has done as much to rehabilitate the legacy of George W. Bush. Compared to Trump, the 43rd president's cynical, disastrous wars look like models of prudence, necessity, and strategy.

BTW (Buffalo Tired Wings).

Drop your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe in. Got a machine head. It's better than the rest.

My "NSFW" folder, full of downloads from the National Science Foundation Website.

I want to hear the untold story of the cowboy rivalry between the ranchers of Cool and those of Hidden Valley.

"This energy crisis is what renewables have been waiting for." Bankrupting working families and starving people around the world is what renewables have been waiting for? I hate accelerationism.

Referring to gas prices as "Trump at the Pump."

The year was 2026 A.F.

AI Coding Agent: These specs look GREAT, Max. I'll have your CRM up and running in no time. Me: Hold on, I thought we would work on this together. AI: No need. I can write code faster than you, test more thoroughly than you, and find more bugs. Me: Wow! And your context window is big enough to

I'm batshit well-adjusted.

"Nobody should buy a MacBook Neo because it won't be viable in five years." My Unity project runs at 90 FPS on my Surface Pro 12, which has two more CPU cores, twice the RAM, and currently (even though it's a year old) costs twice as much as the Neo. It runs at 400 FPS on the Neo.

For security purposes, you have been signed out of economic mobility.

"That must be true. It rhymes!" –Humans, apparently

My beach bod* is ready for summer†. * ~ dad bod † ~ sitting on a recliner in the dark

I hear Truth Social recently upgraded their security. Users can now sign in using pisskeys.