Triumph of the Nil. #Melania

Sow, reap, etc.

ICE's mission is supported by a broad swath of the political spectrum, starting from Klansmen on the right and extending leftward as far as Ayn Rand cosplayers.

"Well, if they don't want to get shot, they shouldn't be exercising their constitutional rights!"

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Republican fundraisers set a high bar, in terms of literacy.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: 1. Moxie 2. Jib 3. Gumption 4. Panache 5. Torque 6. Sauce 7. Je ne sais quoi

It's amazing how much email piles up in your inbox when you don't keep up with it, even just over the course of a single career.

Microsoft to add tabs, OneDrive backup, and Copilot integration to Minesweeper.

“I just can’t seem to get ahead in life,” he gamed.

Maybe I'm just not cut out for completing a task.

Keep Christ in Taco Tuesday.

You either die an engineer with a wrinkled tie, or you live long enough to see yourself become the pointy-haired boss.

Minimize notifications by setting your Microsoft Teams status to "Do Not Resuscitate."

LinkedIn is social media the same way that thing with cake in the conference room last Friday was a “party.”

The late Scott Adams is remembered for his timeless satire about the hubris of American businessmen. He also created the comic strip 'Dilbert.'

I like to order my Diet Coke with extra ice. Preferably from an establishment that doesn't serve ICE.

My password is about to expire, so I put my laptop in the freezer.

Grok, how is babby formed?

Sometimes, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, nine months later they realize that neither of them ever emptied the cooler after the last party and now it's full of mold.

The four-year-old is really obsessed with helicopters right now. Of course, at his age, when he's within earshot we call them heckicopters.

Try to live your life in such a way that, after it ends, people don't use words like "complicated legacy" to describe it.

Typical. The woke mob, coming for Jonathan Ross just for shooting an unarmed woman in the face.

Believe it or not, screwing employees over isn't actually private equity's job. It's more like their passion.

We've detected unusual sighing activity on your account.

"Clickbait headlines are necesssry" is a roundabout way of saying "My article doesn't actually need to exist."

Parsnips! At the Tesco.

This week, Las Vegas is hosting CES, the tech industry's fanfic convention.

Sometimes, I A/B test my posts by making two different versions of them, posting them both, then leaving them both up forever and not learning anything from which version performed better.

If you look closely enough at your clothing, you can see the pixels.

Forgot the term "thread count" so I just asked what resolution these sheets were.

“I just can’t seem to get ahead in life,” he gamed.

"Harris wouldn't have been any better" becomes a weirder take by the day.

Werewolf advisory.

2026 World Introvert Day parade hailed as a massive success due to record low turnout. #WorldIntrovertDay

Believing you can spot AI-generated text based on the prevalence of em dashes is the new phrenology.

"There's something about him that's so blocked, it's like, how much more blocked could he be? And the answer is, none. None more blocked."

I’m more interested in the outrénet.

I have to believe that, no matter how bad it has gotten, the world is still worth saving. [steps in dog poop] Never mind.

the pointy part of a heart-shaped fork is the valen tines send post

Christmas was only four days ago, but Target has already cleared out all of the Christmas stuff and reset the seasonal aisles for Infrastructure Week.

“What the actual fuck” implies the existence of “what the feels like fuck.”

The temperature is 12°F, but the "feels like" temperature is WTᵃF.

Jordan isn't qualified to do that. Frankly, the people who sold Jordan the resume-screening software probably aren't, either. (Source: Microsoft, in an online business analytics course, trying to launder accountability for AI's decisions and biases.)

Before autocorrect, the animated series about Huey, Dewey, and Louie was known as "FuckTales."

‘Twas the season.

Scientists baffled, unable to determine what day it is.

Ok, whoever just set off a bunch of FIREWORKS at 10:20 PM in our residential neighborhood on a night when all of the parents are struggling to get their kids to sleep, I hope it went horribly wrong and your house is on fire. JFC.

If the guy who invented the GIF saying it’s a soft G Isn’t enough to win the argument, then Bruce Willis saying ‘Die Hard’ isn’t a Christmas movie sure as shit doesn’t settle anything.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!"