Omniposting.

I am actually immortal, whenever I die I can just turn back time and stop that. It's really annoying.

(Waiter accidentally brings me the wrong dish) Friend: "Wait, isn't that chicken? I thought you were vegan?" Me:

tears are just eye piss

I’m sorry, Mom, I can’t help you at your house today; I’m too busy watching unhinged Minecraft content on TikTok.

why can’t the side effects from a prescription be something cool like levitation or the ability to cast spells

Frictionless brain activity

They have invented a new kind of porn

GO! MY labubu_missile! KILL!!

Introducing my poker loving dad to cocaine

> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis > It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

Feel like Waluigi would be on the Epstein flight logs but not Wario and I think that’s the fundamental difference between the characters

Not a cell phone in sight. Just ppl living in the moment

It finally came true…

who up jacking to the Iowa memorial for the war of the rebellion 1861-65

“I never see you at the club.” Ok I never see you in the haunted woods making questionable deals with the fae.

these dating apps are getting niche

The mcdonalds cholesterol in Trump's arteries vs the US government's military grade dialysis machine rn

Remember 2015 when we were all 25 years younger

Strange things are happening.

To all my followers, forever

Life hack- cut your toenails often to prevent holes in your future cum sock!

Thought of you.

Come to the Ivalice raid series, we have: - Simon Says - The Slice Is Right - What The Fuck Is A Prime Number - YOUR SUFFERING IS NOT YET OVER - Backshots - A small lesbian lizard nerd - Load-bearing Pandaemonium lore - YOUR COMING

We've been receiving a lot of requests for us to answer this crucial question, and we are delighted to attempt to provide you with the information you need as to whether you can read braille with your clit.

Somebody on LinkedIn said what we're all thinking.

Posting a Ring Cam video that runs for 4:26 in which nothing at all happens with the caption "wait for it."

10,000 gamefaqs polls...

Welcome back Ozzy

How do I get rid of this creature thing? I've been trying for quite some time. But no banishing spell works. What bizarre thing must I do?

I have an extremely small penis.

I love vitamins.

Is taking a vacation worth the risk? Are you sure you don’t want to do the right thing and die at work?

mood.

Please please please. Shown up.

Who needs coffee when magazines will say stupid shit like this to your face early in the morning?

One must imagine Sisyphus with a competitive salary