golf clap for Jordan stout who a few years ago seemed like not a particularly good NFL punter but now is a hoss

Stop giving the ball to derrick henry.

I watched 2/3s of The Godfather yesterday donating platelets. I'm sure none of my thoughts on it are original so I'll just say Al Pacino should have kept talking normally as he aged.

26 yo staffer driving a Maserati... wonder who gets to write her redemption arc in 2026. Also which old guy is she grossly doing.

Rocketing into the pantheon of group chat pics with text edits. "Women 5 inches taller than him" / "Greg"

Find me one picture of trump looking at his worthless idiot sons this way

mamdani use the power of trump thinking whatever the last person who talked to him about to fix america

Look at my son's Revolutionary War ass haircut. Johnny Tremaine ass.

Here's a fucking sentence for the age

anything thats called "_____ Shop" I have to say "down here at the ____ shop+

The transit app's near psychotic belief that the light rail can get from hamburg to convention center in 2 minutes never fails to infuriate

When i am old and my disgustingness is in full bloom will some shrew like girl with a horrible personality sext me

🚨 olivia nuzzi has boinked a second old weirdo 🚨

WTMD had a nice set this morning honoring Todd Snider. Many celebs die whom i respect and its not too sad - i dont know why this one is messing me up. I guess i identified with him as a person and an artist. He was happy to be an alright guy.

One thing you can never take away from me is that my mayor regularly refers to cleveland as the Doo Doo Browns.

The New York Times asked Miss Rachel if she's funded by hamas. If they allow the words Epstein and Kavanaugh to even appear in the same story i will eat 100 maga hats.

Corn Cob TV is proud to present: The Funeral of Queen Elizabeth II

Is. That. Good.

What the fuck happened to Todd Snider???????

America's elite clods are resetting Nuzzi's mentions. She's not allowed to be laughed at by people with masters degrees anymore, which in the minds of the parasites running legacy media is the worst crime anyone can commit.

Just now learning that the Mike Vrabel coached Patriots are 8-2. A certain type of guy is feeling alive for the first time in years.

My dentist wants me to do mouth taping when i sleep, like some kind of zoomer wellness freak.

For some reason when i was a kid we had a term for those tube socks with the horizontal stripes around the calf. We called them bobos. They were considered extemely uncool.

the only band on this list that sucks is The Hives but the mere fact of being on a list with the other acts here makes me wonder if I'm wrong. also two Ian mckaye bands.

Every show now is like a disgraced professor who is reclaiming her repuation by helping her doctor father hunt serial killers who work for the fbi

Derrick Henry looking like a commoner for a couple weeks now

Guys who post "Good Morning Beautiful" every day on the Christy Canyon facebook page are to pretend to be so upset about this

walked out of work with 5mg of oxy in my pocket. probably gotta do a bunch of fucking paper work now! luckily that's the only part of working in healthcare that I am naturally good at.

If you dont grow up around it stuff like a highway exit called "STONEWALL JACKSON DEATH SITE" probably seems pretty wild

Glennn Youngkin - another dope whose reputation was entirely fabricated by his supporters in the press, accomplished nothing and his legacy is gone like a fart in the wind as soon as he's no longer useful to the Jake Tappers of the world. See: Larry Hogan.

Chairface Chippendale - outstanding name for a humorous comic book villain.

One of my favorite songwriters threatened to beat up a healthcare worker who treated him after he was assaulted. What do i do. Empty my head of thoughts. A warm, blank mind - enjoying fun songs.

Dick Cheney - a liar, a torturer, an unpatriotic shit heel, an unintelligent and unlikable person - holds the most individual responsibility of anyone in the last 50 years for what is happening right now.

Dick Cheney is dead!

Zohran (hornily): time for a little... rendez vous with rama... Rama: i hate you Zohran: a little... Rama lama ding dong Rama: [sub zero fatalities Zohran and Curtis Silwa becomes Mayor of NYC and her new husband] Curtis: whoa black betty, ram a lam

A patient flipped me off through 40 of propofol and im finally known for something on the unit besides being a lawyer

My wife runs my life too. She's better at it than i am.

Calling dirt "earth". Lol. Do martians say "you have Mars on your shoe"

Steve Blake's son is on the Terps. Lay me gently into a fresh, warm grave and cover me with a pile of soft earth.

Ringo Starr AND George Carlin - Mister Conductor

Milk duds - preposterous business model. "Lets sell nothing 364 days a year then one day a year half of everyone in America will get a box of three milk duds."

The girl in the bottom left looking at obama with low grade rbf is my cousin.

The line for the Billy Strings show at the arena is pretty funny. Normie 50s couples mixed with ppl in extremely arch costumes.

This clod is a blight on the entire concept of using writing to discuss ideas or information.

A good friend of mine went to college with Julia Stiles and gave me some third hand gossip about her being rude to someone and i havent liked her for 25 years since. Why. Why do i even have an opinion about her at all, let alone a negative one, premised on mist.

Its more of a hobby than an industry

If ebt cards dont replenish on Nov 1 a lot of elderly people are going to need food assistance like... that day.

Say one thing for pittsburgh - they have no qualms about using the most hideous throwbacks in the league year after year

Do the ravens have enough space to kneel