Mike
@mikesbadtweets.bsky.social
π€ 341
π₯ 335
π 4968
Make me an elder... who writes skeets not dumbly Make me a poster... of good content and posts
Love to get a "SAFETY UPDATE" email from my kids principal that turns out to be a rabid fox sighting.
25 minutes ago
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*The "Mike Hope Alarm" starts beeping inside the Orioles Clubhouse* [All, in unison]: TO THE LOSE GAMES DUMBLY-MOBILE!!!!
about 8 hours ago
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Why are the nation's least masculine men so obsessed with james talarico. ted cruz looks and sounds like randall weems.
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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Being from somewhere is largely performative for the middle class. Old bay goldfish. Things of that nature. Who gives a shit. We all talk like nickelodeon sitcom characters and eat whatever ConAgra puts on the shelf.
2 days ago
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Mulberries are falling like rain in our yard and the deer are gorging themselves. There's more poop than grass in some places.
2 days ago
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Well i just won Niall Horan tickets on the college of knowledge on 101.9
2 days ago
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Now that the weather is finally warm we have at least one scooter crash in the ICU at any given time. Doing 28 mph with no gear and following the same rules as when scooters went 9mph is not smart!
2 days ago
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When Bush dodged those shoes you can see this look on his face in the aftermath like "finally... something i'm good at"
2 days ago
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Whichever anesthesiologist though giving methadone to people in the OR was going to get them in the NEJM needs to meet me on Lombard street for a fucking fist fight
3 days ago
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Mike Bibby fell the fuck off.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Ben Gibbard you are only 49 there is still time for you to make albums about one and possibly two more divorces.
4 days ago
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I will drive this hospital into bankruptcy drinking the 8 oz diet shastas intended for patients.
4 days ago
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Dave Chapelle is at CFG on friday in case you want to listen to no jokes for an hour.
4 days ago
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Damn dude this is really happening
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
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Gratitude post: just bought a borderline hoarder house AND moved my mom out of her place so the FREE household hazardous waste dropoff today was fucking heroic. Liquids from the 90s are in shambles right now. Sheds are sparkling.
5 days ago
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Why are the Orioles playing well. Every other time i check on them they just won a division game by 7 runs.
6 days ago
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If you spent the last 20 years calling David Brooks shallow legacy media regarded you basically as a terrorist. But now he says you were right. So what do you get for being right? A staff job? A hearty handshake? No, you get force fed more slop.
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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Same loser said bluesky was a bubble bc trump had a 52% approval for a week in january 2025.
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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I love living in a place where a non insignificant % of the population has fuck all to do when they wake up except ruin things for everyone they come across all day.
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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Today i learned the literal translation of the word zeitgeist is "time ghost"
6 days ago
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@cxor.de
7 days ago
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The brasilian teen ran out of steam at roland garros before i put my son onto him. So i guess we are spared the disappointment. Hopefully he goes deep at Wimbledon.
8 days ago
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When i was like 12 or 13 i covered myself in mud warpaint while i was playing in a forrest but it turned out i put poison ivy in the mud and my entire torso broke out in blisters.
9 days ago
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I find Nate Bargatze's stand up very funny and i am not reveling in the failure of his movie although it did look awful from the trailers.
9 days ago
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I am completely baffled at the reappearance of Spencer Pratt in my field of attention. As i recall he was known for being extremely lame while in a relationship with some kind of famous hag. My last memory of him is claiming he was the best rapper in the world on Letterman in roughly 2003, 2004.
10 days ago
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Just closed the tab for my son's soccer team dashboard for the first time in 3 yrs.
10 days ago
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Good evening.
12 days ago
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The other friend in Billy Madison - who was he. Why was he in that movie. Why wasnt he in any other films.
12 days ago
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Good Morning.
12 days ago
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It should be illegal to get an admission on your last day before vacation.
13 days ago
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They sropped the light rail at north ave to add another car for the Os game and broke the fucking train
14 days ago
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I think the drought in maryland will be substantially reduced next time they update it. <- old guy tweet
14 days ago
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if u live in Garden Grove you can go home again.
loading . . .
All evacuations lifted for residents near Garden Grove chemical tank
Around 16,000 people who remained displaced Tuesday have been told they can return to their homes, according to Garden Grove police.
https://laist.com/news/garden-grove-residents-asked-to-evacuate-area-toxic-tank-could-explode?utm_term=nprnews&utm_source=bsky.app&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr
14 days ago
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Cargo shorts and a crappy t shirt it is
add a skeleton here at some point
15 days ago
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You can yell at your kids without turning them into school shooters
add a skeleton here at some point
17 days ago
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bc of the new Odyssey movie the 2004 film Troy is being brought up a lot. Part of the reason that movie failed to register an emotional impact is that they straight washed Patroclus from being Achilles's husband to being his cousin. I like my cousins but i am not going into a blind rage over them.
17 days ago
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LITE A FINE PILSNER πΎπΎ BEER (non reactionary reasons)
add a skeleton here at some point
18 days ago
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this is my first chance to watch a Notre Dame game this year, this appears to be their first season without a Kavanaugh brother since [checks notes]... 1997?
18 days ago
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Princeton sent Duke to hell. Interesting what types of things my hatred of Duke can make me like. Princeton sucks. Ted Cruz went there. Fuck them. But i am happy they beat Duke.
18 days ago
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Most of my anecdotes involving miller lite are not suitable to publish in a publication as august as the atlantic.
add a skeleton here at some point
18 days ago
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Its incredible how the light rail will simply cease to run with no notice, no alert, nothing. It just goes away at like 7 some days.
19 days ago
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NYT: Dealmaker Trump's New Obsession: Numbers
add a skeleton here at some point
19 days ago
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Im being told Russia ran crying back to twitter, face red and puffy, snot pouring forth from both nostrils, after people on bluesky replied that they didnt agree with the posts.
add a skeleton here at some point
19 days ago
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Had a dream about being back at my old office job for the first time in months. I was on the verge of tears in the dream. Felt amazing to wake up. Like the time i dreamt about having no teeth.
19 days ago
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The light rail was cocked up beyond belief last night so i took a Lyft home. This guy did more baltimore driver shit in one trip than i do in a year. Scrolled IG at reds, took a facetime call, passed in the shoulder on 83, missed our exit and went left on a red.
20 days ago
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Yesterday a US Postal Service clerk from Baltimore was sentenced for stealing $700k worth of checks. He literally just grabbed checks out of the mail and deposited them in his personal acct for a year.
20 days ago
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Can anything just not suck
add a skeleton here at some point
22 days ago
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Next week is my son's final soccer practice and i think i will ceremonially deposit the 8 and a half pounds of shredded rubber pellets lining the floor of my car back on the turf field from whence they came.
22 days ago
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For a few years back in the early teens left wing people on twitter started calling literally every aspect of culture and politics they didnt like classical liberalism and it was extremely bewildering.
22 days ago
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Everyone can see how deranged and stupid these people are. I think the frustration comes from the absence of any authoritative voice that can say to us all, benevolently but offering no to space to be questioned, "These people are deranged and stupid."
add a skeleton here at some point
22 days ago
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