WARNING : FECAL EVENT IMMINENT ! PLEASE *DO NOT* EVACUATE THE AREA ! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE ! I SWEAR IT WILL BE FUNNY

a God does not fear death

the penis gnomes are coming

your honor, my client pleads not guilty on account of finders keepers

i love fried bread

my camera broke. please imagine a picture of a penis. thank you

important announcement: this

i <3 peeing

bounces and moans (I am being forced to jump on a trampoline while extremely physically ill)

weiners!

I'm cum

I'm making mac and cheese

glizzyyyy

houseflies are 100% fly and 0% house. i will be suing for false advertising.

TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY YOU CAN REPOST THIS!!!

i have turbo rabies

i had a banger ready to go and i completely forgot what I was going to say. it is nonetheless very important that you know this

farts really loud

breaking news: my friend dillon from school has found shocking evidence that sex may in fact be real

my relationship with Christ is strictly sexual in nature

wendy's penis sauce

i smell like cheese. do you want a whiff

my body count is immeasurable

i pooped

special offer : if your movie needs a fake sex scene i will do it for free

I'm going to Chipotle does anyone want anything

birds are actually government birds

my camera broke. please imagine a picture of a penis. thank you

this is a cat

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his penis is big

*starts violently shitting* um... oops LOL

urethra!

new study reveals the #1 thing that drives women the most is their cars

im itchy

the important announcements bluesky account has reached a staggering 1 likes total

i fart a lot