i think cars should be illegal in residential areas

kids these days call their parents 'bro' lol

brb going to a near-earth asteroid to fetch some rare earth elements

Sure everyone likes the new year when it's just a baby, but then it grows up

starting to see college students posting on reddit about being tarred with false positives from the automated "generated by AI" checkers they use and it doesn't make any sense these things are specifically trained on human output so they can sound like human output

AI-detection algorithms being trained on human output and creating a nightmare of millions of false positives, forcing humans to write less-human is like a PKD story (eventually some people would find out from it that they themselves are AI)

love it when someone on this site is like 'you don't have to say anything. you can just stay silent.' why are you here? why do you think i'm here?

who could've guessed what would happen?

weed strains out here sounding like excerpts from finnegan's wake

Twitter killed FYAD but it was worth it because it also arguably killed Lowtax

[map of the united states with every state rendered in an incomprehensible color that screams inside your head] this is where it lives

Trump has the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now (die of natural causes)

despite all my rage every year I continue to age

one from the vault

thought I was snapping into a Slim Jim but the Slim Jim was snapping into me

*to my cat* see, they're in the boiler room now, this is like freddy's home turf, it's the locus of his power

*sniffing my dirty clothes to find something to wear*

yeah, I score pretty high on the piaget sensorimotor scale. I still have to put a lot of things in my mouth first, but I'll get it eventually

I don a pair of JNCOs so large I can fill the cuffs with creamy chowder

I'm regular-pilled, I just take a lot of them

Putting an Oreo on the railroad tracks and waiting patiently with my wide-mouthed mug of milk

i flip down the sun visor in the passenger seat. "my spiders!" you exclaim as i am deluged with brown recluse

how was ron johnson, the discarded effluvia created by the union of a syphilitic slave owner and the bowel scrapings of an evangelical with colitis, able to become a senator? america really is the land of opportunity (for the most bigoted among us)

we've gone so backward on this and i cant help but wonder, 'gee was it the decades-long terrorist movement that cowed the political establishment, proving them as cowards, that brought us to this moment?' we'll probably never know

every so often I get a whole mess of likes and I cant help but feel that something has gone terribly wrong

Supermarket Sweep only it's held in The Met and all the contestants are people who have had their artifacts stolen

Videodrome discontinues New Flesh, releases Flesh Classic

Yes, that's a sticker of Calvin peeing on the space between dimensions. No, don't look directly at it

A sturdy piece of white bread and creamy peanut butter, that's a Par 2. Cold butter and a hard dinner roll, that's a Par 6

Me, merging my consciousness with the feed: Brundlesky

the "never ask" meme with the final panel being, "IBM, what it did during WWII"

*nodding solemnly* this is wisdom

going on steroids, getting double jaw surgery, leg extensions & Looks-Maxxing to ascend as much as possible as an Evil Warrior. also made one arm into a gun

it was still thrilling to know that 20 random people took the time to at least skim two teens' ramblings and thought 'i'll take this with me'. get your art out there

🎶I'll never be, your beast of burden and did you say, she's hurtin' for a squirtin'🎶

(cobra kai sensei voice) sleep is for the weak

Who would mess with Jigsaw's traps worse, Mr. Bean or Mr. Magoo?

"Sometimes They Got Back" by King Mix-a-Lot

The Family Circus where Billy blames everything on Aunt Ifa

When something is really difficult for a giraffe to do they call it low-hanging fruit

Joker 3 sneak peek

"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dye." *reveals 4 dozen hard-boiled eggs and a pile of PAAS decorating kits*

Smashing a McWorkr drone and getting my dome caved in by a robodog in Grimace livery, my final thought: I'm lovin' it

I'm ranked 2nd in my Fantasy Solitaire League

Charlie and the (Fred Durst voice) Chocolate Starfish!

Oh my God lightning doesn't crash, thunder crashes, what the fuck, LĪVE?

The frenemy of my frenemy is my enemiend

Martial Mathers releasing diss epigrams