Dave Yates
@yatescomedy.bsky.social
📤 24
📥 2
📝 55
Comedian. Hot Sauce Gourmand
New website up. If there’s any hot sauce fans here.
www.hahahotsauce.com
12 months ago
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A Cybertruck is just a MAGA Hat you can drive.
12 months ago
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Saw a Cybertruck crash. I came a little bit.
12 months ago
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This probably ain’t going to get me booked more but here’s the facts: The standard comedian pay rate, that hasn’t changed in 30yrs is as follows $200 to headline (40-60 min set) $100 to feature ( 20-30) $50-$75 to host. (10-12 mins) We are the only workers at the club that haven’t gotten a raise.
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HaHa Hot Sauce
The Official Home of HaHa Hot Sauce!
https://Hahahotsauce.com
about 1 year ago
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All public servants should be required to eat psychedelic mushrooms before taking office.  It’s hard to take your job too seriously when you’ve seen the walls turned to grape jelly.
about 1 year ago
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I come from a long line of men who “know a guy”
about 1 year ago
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I can’t wait to travel like a bank tube
about 1 year ago
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You can’t be pro-abortion and anti-suicide. Their body their choice.
about 1 year ago
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Teslas are the worst drivers. Which makes no sense. All that tech and you still drive like a chode? The owner of the company is Autistic, the car shouldn’t be.
about 1 year ago
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Did I invest in Bitcoin? No. But I do got a few JC Pennys.
about 1 year ago
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I will do your podcast. - 13 year touring comedy veteran -12 years sober - owner HaHa Hot Sauce - roasts his own coffee - experienced in Grief Recovery - estate sale king -lover of cheese and fancy mustards
about 1 year ago
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Hahahotsauce.com
about 1 year ago
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If you like jambands and bbq- come to this show Sunday in Vegas before Phish plays the sphere. It’d be good to see you.
over 1 year ago
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Doing comedy at Zanies in Rosemont Illinois this weekend. If you’re into that type of thing.
almost 2 years ago
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Grief
over 2 years ago
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Bout to be a whole bunch of people with Spicy Twitter DM’s up in here
over 2 years ago
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Do no harm, but take no shit.
over 2 years ago
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To explain my mental health journey in music terms, I went from listening to a lot of Bon Iver to a bunch of Andrew Bird.
over 2 years ago
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Just noticed people are now wearing their mental health diagnosis on clothing. Could have used that 5 years and one house ago.
over 2 years ago
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This is kind of like the blue abyss to stare into
over 2 years ago
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The safest place to talk about personal shit is where nobody can hear you.
over 2 years ago
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It took four years to find a good therapist. Now I have one and when I leave the session, everything hurts.
over 2 years ago
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Gunna make rosemary oil
over 2 years ago
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Do no harm, take no shit.
over 2 years ago
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Who lives under here? Wrong answers only
over 2 years ago
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Oh don’t mind me, just playing Zelda and listening to Alan Watts tapes on a Saturday night.
over 2 years ago
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Don’t worry, the Covid Reboot is not gunna hit as hard as the original.
over 2 years ago
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Apple comedians only want to perform in MagSafe spaces
over 2 years ago
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Gorgeous day to question every life choice I’ve ever made to this point. Blue sky for reference.
over 2 years ago
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I had this thought, nobody Moons anyone anymore. That’s sad to me.
over 2 years ago
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Once I’m done dealing with this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it’s over for you hoes.
over 2 years ago
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reposted by
Dave Yates
Etymologist
over 2 years ago
Everyone please if I could have your attention for a moment, this is important
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I’ve gotten 3 flat tires in less than 30 days. The Universe is telling me to quit comedy.
over 2 years ago
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I want to start an Emo Grateful Dead cover band: Regretful I'm Not Dead.
over 2 years ago
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We’ve all agreed these are Skeets, right?
over 2 years ago
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My attachment style is anxious/preoccupied with my the amount of pickles I have left.
over 2 years ago
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Weighted blanket? No thanks, I already have depression.
over 2 years ago
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I’ve done so many 12-step programs, I need to get a Fit Bit.
over 2 years ago
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Workaholism is weird. It’s like sure everyone says you’re killing it. But they don’t know “it” is you.
over 2 years ago
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I used to donate plasma for drug money. Nowadays, I still donate plasma for pills, but they’re my anti depressants.
over 2 years ago
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Treated myself to a hotel room instead of the back seat of my car this road trip. I think therapy is working.
over 2 years ago
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Burning Man- where rich people cosplay poor people.
over 2 years ago
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I make delicious hot sauce if anyone is into that kinda thing.
over 2 years ago
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Once I achieve total consciousness, it’s over for you hoes.
over 2 years ago
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Gray Sky
over 2 years ago
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I know I watch too much true crime because when I read the headline “Human Remains Found Off I-5" my first thought was "Hell yeah."
over 2 years ago
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I went to a drag race once. I’ve never seen so many people run that fast in heels.
over 2 years ago
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Secure attachment style? BORING. I need to have a head full of bees when we hang out.
over 2 years ago
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You east coasters making suggestions on what to do in a Hurricane, DONT FLORIDA MY CALIFORNIA, BRO.
over 2 years ago
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Someone better check that Hurricane’s emails before Hilary destroys the west coast.
over 2 years ago
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