New website up. If there’s any hot sauce fans here. www.hahahotsauce.com

A Cybertruck is just a MAGA Hat you can drive.

Saw a Cybertruck crash. I came a little bit.

This probably ain’t going to get me booked more but here’s the facts: The standard comedian pay rate, that hasn’t changed in 30yrs is as follows $200 to headline (40-60 min set) $100 to feature ( 20-30) $50-$75 to host. (10-12 mins) We are the only workers at the club that haven’t gotten a raise.

All public servants should be required to eat psychedelic mushrooms before taking office.  It’s hard to take your job too seriously when you’ve seen the walls turned to grape jelly.

I come from a long line of men who “know a guy”

I can’t wait to travel like a bank tube

You can’t be pro-abortion and anti-suicide. Their body their choice.

Teslas are the worst drivers. Which makes no sense. All that tech and you still drive like a chode? The owner of the company is Autistic, the car shouldn’t be.

Did I invest in Bitcoin? No. But I do got a few JC Pennys.

I will do your podcast. - 13 year touring comedy veteran -12 years sober - owner HaHa Hot Sauce - roasts his own coffee - experienced in Grief Recovery - estate sale king -lover of cheese and fancy mustards

If you like jambands and bbq- come to this show Sunday in Vegas before Phish plays the sphere. It’d be good to see you.

Doing comedy at Zanies in Rosemont Illinois this weekend. If you’re into that type of thing.

Grief

Bout to be a whole bunch of people with Spicy Twitter DM’s up in here

Do no harm, but take no shit.

To explain my mental health journey in music terms, I went from listening to a lot of Bon Iver to a bunch of Andrew Bird.

Just noticed people are now wearing their mental health diagnosis on clothing. Could have used that 5 years and one house ago.

This is kind of like the blue abyss to stare into

The safest place to talk about personal shit is where nobody can hear you.

It took four years to find a good therapist. Now I have one and when I leave the session, everything hurts.

Gunna make rosemary oil

Do no harm, take no shit.

Who lives under here? Wrong answers only

Oh don’t mind me, just playing Zelda and listening to Alan Watts tapes on a Saturday night.

Don’t worry, the Covid Reboot is not gunna hit as hard as the original.

Apple comedians only want to perform in MagSafe spaces

Gorgeous day to question every life choice I’ve ever made to this point. Blue sky for reference.

I had this thought, nobody Moons anyone anymore. That’s sad to me.

Once I’m done dealing with this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it’s over for you hoes.

Everyone please if I could have your attention for a moment, this is important

I’ve gotten 3 flat tires in less than 30 days. The Universe is telling me to quit comedy.

I want to start an Emo Grateful Dead cover band: Regretful I'm Not Dead.

We’ve all agreed these are Skeets, right?

My attachment style is anxious/preoccupied with my the amount of pickles I have left.

Weighted blanket? No thanks, I already have depression.

I’ve done so many 12-step programs, I need to get a Fit Bit.

Workaholism is weird. It’s like sure everyone says you’re killing it. But they don’t know “it” is you.

I used to donate plasma for drug money. Nowadays, I still donate plasma for pills, but they’re my anti depressants.

Treated myself to a hotel room instead of the back seat of my car this road trip. I think therapy is working.

Burning Man- where rich people cosplay poor people.

I make delicious hot sauce if anyone is into that kinda thing.

Once I achieve total consciousness, it’s over for you hoes.

Gray Sky

I know I watch too much true crime because when I read the headline “Human Remains Found Off I-5" my first thought was "Hell yeah."

I went to a drag race once. I’ve never seen so many people run that fast in heels.

Secure attachment style? BORING. I need to have a head full of bees when we hang out.

You east coasters making suggestions on what to do in a Hurricane, DONT FLORIDA MY CALIFORNIA, BRO.

Someone better check that Hurricane’s emails before Hilary destroys the west coast.