idk why in the course of at most like 5 days I feel so far from God. I guess this can just happen?

I think the past month it has been really hitting how lonely I am

I forget is the cool trendy contrarian take currently that getting blocked is something you shouldn't take too seriously or not

I got blocked on main by someone like days after reactivating, and this same person doesn't block me on any of my alts. i confess this has been bothering me so much even if that's embarassing to admit. But every single time I see them I just remember this. Why am I like this

probably still my favorite song <3 link.deezer.com/s/31SgroW2LE...

ive been weirdly paranoid the past few days

Curb Your Enthusiasm but starring Ryan Letourneau

Grant that, as the crucified body of your dear Son was laid in the tomb and rested on this holy Sabbath, so we may await with him the coming of the third day, and rise with him to newness of life

The one nightgown I have does miracles for my figure. makes me feel less bad about my hips 😌

it's incredible how hardened a heart can be in a a mere momentary lapse

Actually better for me to not renew my contract in July since then I qualify for the really good state insurance lol

can I love so freely? should I?

not yet

it's so cool how much teto art is just teto x teto yuri

I need to get a tax advisor. ugh.

finally ended up making one of these... im probably missing something else I really liked but idk, if I forgot it, probably not more than what's on here

in retrospect it's really funny how many tweets/posts I've made in the past that were just fishing for certain types of interactions or direct messages but in a vague coded way or whatever. but i guess I still understand it, cuz, just coming out and asking or telling something to someone is hard

i wish I had more nightgowns

being sober when someone is very much not is super not fun. this goes for both alcohol and cannabis, I guess. and even worse is feeling implicitly peer pressured to match them so I dont feel like this instead of just confronting them

this pfp finally feels right again

curb your enthusiasm is so funny

This discussion is super cool! I know a lot of what is being talked about, but I never made some of the connections the guest brings up www.youtube.com/live/xsQSElu...

Always so weird seeing a comment from myself 1, 2, or even 4 years ago in a comment section

Got laser for my face yesterday!

what is Matt Whitman up to nowadays?

given that I'm interested in graph theory, logic, and functional programming, I suppose it is a bit insane I'm not into mechanizing graph theoretic proofs or formal verification of graph algorithms in a dependent type theory

classic throat infection fever into sinus infection and tongue sores, the good old 1 2

i feel better but still sick

pray for my health please. im very sick

i really tried to sleep but it's almost impossible

I have a fever and I'm sleep deprived. I'm cold, my lip is split, my throat aches. I just wanna go home

the Song of Songs really has the potential to be my favorite book of the Bible. but it is really hard to read and not have crass, undignified thoughts ;~; It's not even the eroticism itself, it's just that this is so taboo in like, every other circumstance. Pondering Divine Eros is so suppressed

"O that his left hand were under my head, and that his right hand embraced me!" Song of Solomon 2:6

my bad mood is just "indignant spoiled child" and idk are people into that?

missed my flight for the first time in my life

my life would probably be very different if I actually went to an EO parish or became a catechumen or we to the EO club meetings on campus or whatever. kind of scary to think about. but I think I'd be happy in my own way

guh has this always been this good what the hell

it's only been 2 years and I already feel like an intruder in my own alma mater's campus 😭

not me finally understanding short-form erotica now 😭

always end up feeling a bit loopy the day after I do edibles

I obviously have only really lived in one faith tradition. But I am constantly amazed at how polysemic so many of the key terms of religious discourse really are. And how my own personal religiosity is almost coterminous with a disposition willing to engage in this interplay of significations

what do I make of the fact my sexuality, which I actually know very well, is so like. cartoonishly? comically? opposed to whatever theology of sexuality and the body Christianity seems to be getting at? I'm like not even talking about being queer just, what gets me off. it sucks

Sacraments ordained of Christ be not only badges or tokens of Christian men's profession, but rather they be certain sure witnesses, and effectual signs of grace, and God's good will towards us,

unsure if i was sexually harassed, racially profiled, both, or that was the worst small talk of all time by a security guard

Gonna need to reread the DBH book if I want to write an essay or blog post following it up. Which is fine, it's short enough and probably way less terse on a second read. Can try to understand the arguments based on classical metaphysics this time too

new life goal: eliminate visceral fat

me and my samoyed plushie son sleeping