Remember back when books and movies were love letters to cities? Simpler times.

I don't know why anyone performed at the Saudi Arabia comedy event. I guess Riyadh to be there

Gonna start talking about men and money the way people talk about women and attention: "Ugh, he doesn't even like software, you know he's just begging for money." "Look at that suit he's wearing. It's so phony. You can tell he's just desperate for money." Etc. (Feel free to play along.)

The Secretary of War can be abbreviated to SoW which is pretty appropriate I think

how funny would it be if Jimmy Kimmel started going off about how awesome the Riyadh Comedy Festival is? Just turning his show into an hour-long ad for the whole thing?

RIP Jane Goodall. Now I can admit to the world I thought you and the "Gorillas in the Mist" lady were the same woman for like 37 years.

Can't wait to live in a spider egg on the moon

Probably not the point of the article (I can't read) but this photo makes it looks like Trump is wearing a cartoonishly oversized red, white, and blue tie

I heard someone refer to the memorial last Sunday as a "circle Kirk" and I feel like that should be what it's called anytime Maga or republicans are collected together

Just accidentally erased a VM from when my daughter was 2. It was just "Hi Mommy" but I'm absolutely (and somewhat ridiculously) crushed that I was so careless

Rapture? I barely know her

Nothing like trying to make a TiKTok to discover you can't talk for 2 minutes about a book you just read

This stirred a memory of a woman who died in the 1920s and came back as a ghost who was forced to be a maid for a wacky sitcom family?!?! I cannot remember anything else beyond the theme song explaining the scenario in an old-timey sounding way. It's also possible a street car was involved.

Tylenol Robinson shot me with autism

At this point I'm rooting for the rapture

So annoying to see so many would-be comedians make these false equivalencies. It's like, dude, learn how analogies work

For the Record (Which No One Will Check)™, I think a Country Filled with Gun Volence™ is a Bad Thing™ and Not Good™, but I refuse to shed one Delicious Tranny Tear™ for the White Supremicistish™ who was given a Surprise Tracheotomy™

Turning 50 meant I went from being an old young person to a young old person

Just realized I'm so old that I was already too old to like dubstep as much as I did when it came out

I don't think our jokes went too far. It's not like we started calling him "Kablooey CK" or anything.

The American urge to buy a flag so I can fly it at double mast

I AM NOT A RAPPER & I HAVE NEVER SELF PROCLAIMED TO BE A “LYRICAL CALAMITY JANE”

Very excited to be connected to rapper extraordinaire @daliamalek.bsky.social on here! Can't wait to hear the twisted rhymes of the self-proclaimed "Lyrical Calamity Jane" herself!

Finally had to look up "stochastic" and I have a feeling that not everyone who uses that word knows what it means

I think a good idea for a movie would be that it begins as a biopic about Donald Trump but then it's slowly revealed to be a reboot of the Truman Show

Great, now "groyper" is gonna be the word of the year

Well my daughter is sharing texts from her best friend who is sharing screencaps of her ex's messages with his friend on Insta, if you wanna know what I've been up to lately

Starting a program to give Palestinians a YouTube channel where they can dunk on college students so people will give a shit when they get murdered

Fun game to play is to ask anyone who is trying to hold up Charlie Kirk as some sort of good-hearted, thoughtful dude to share a few quotes or clips that best exemplifies those traits.

I believe it was... someone... who once said... something, I think

The ridiculously pro gun guy getting shot is already nothing short of poetic, but the fact that he was a pain in the neck just adds a whole new verse to it

I've been feeling bad for Charlie Kirk's kids the whole time, tbh. Way ahead of ya'll on that one.

Someone's gotta let Bing know

A lot of people are saying Charlie Kirk "just died" but I like to imagine he writhed around on the ground, regretting his choices and unable to communicate anything beyond a terrified look in his soulless eyes

And now Trump will never be able to sign Charlie's 50th birthday card 😢

"What's the deal with false equivalency?" www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general...

America has lost its Flo

Loopy D and Long Tail are my favorite morning DJ duo

As I get used to wearing reading glasses I'm realizing that they clarify much more than they magnify and while that fact isn't, perhaps, super interesting, it is odd to be reminded you never know when something you understood to be true will suddenly be revealed to be not quite what you had assumed.

The worst thing about keeping up with current events is when you realize that most of the story lines you're following won't be resolved until after you die, if ever.

Whenever I see a list that's like "100 Books You Must Read Before You Die" I always feel like the "Before You Die" part is a bit redundant

Goes great with Pandora's Lox

I got Covid! (Boo, right?) I called my Mom to tell her and she was like, "I thought Covid was over?" And I don't have the mental energy to unpack all the implications of that, but man, it really sucks just how far the institutions designed to help us and keep us safe have dropped the fucking ball

We don't like to buy our kids too many treats but we do like to support their interests, so naturally my daughter's new hobby is baking cakes

I would like to be anarchy

It's official! I can finally say Zohran Mamdani's name correctly 60% of the time, every time.

Make a joke about Armani's death if it suits you

Rubbing my hands together, waiting to go viral

Why did the idiot put his father on a rocket? He wanted to put the "pa" back in "space".

The best thing to come out of football is the word "scrimmage".