The ass is the mitochondria of the body

I wish the aliens had been able to save us

It's crazy I used to think adhd was fake and then they gave me a pill that turned me into an engineer

I have no ass, and I must fart

Makeup is so much fun. I love to erase all the shadows from my face and then draw them back on just right

How many times are you legally allowed to marry the same person

I don't know what other people have in mind when they say "resist" but I mean if I see you giving queer people a hard time for existing I will beat the fuck out of you with a bat

My horrible brain an hour before my MRI appointment: "Am I ABSOLUTELY SURE I haven't swallowed any screws today?"

Saw a Carrie Underwood concert 2 years ago and was NOT prepared for what that performance was going to be. It was like being in a mega church. She sang 3 songs about killing exes and then spent the rest of the show singing ballads directly to the troops, Jesus and Mother Mary. We were low-key scared

Denying millions of people healthcare IS a violent crime, and we have the right to defend ourselves.

What about a dj duo named Mashed Potatoes and Groovy

I was a little worried this website would be too liberal, but I can tell from reactions to the United CEO that many of you have GOT the spirit in you

It's time to recover the lost art of hospitality. Everyone who enters our home gets a complimentary bucket hat

Arcane is a masterpiece. I couldn't wait to finish watching it so I could start rewatching it.

It's true that I'm a beautiful woman who has never done anything wrong

Do you ever think about how much your consciousness has in common with a computer and start getting kind of scared

No one ever wants to do anything cool with me like revolt

Is this app good?