"Nah, I think the blond is real. Probably one of the only real things about him."

"Ha! He only spews that crap out because it's the only way for him to convince himself that it's worth continuing on. He says it more for his own benefit than for anyone else's."

"I didn't call you small. I just asked you how tall you are."

"Aww how sweet. You must love hearing my voice so much encouraging me to keep on yapping like that."

"All right. Sure. How tall are you then? Be honest now."

"Seeing the dwarf interacting with a talking blushing pink ball wasn't on my bucket list."

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 𓆩 ˓ ︵ ͜ ㅤ 𝕳 ݂ 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 .ᐟ ✦ ۫ ㅤㅤ 𝖊ㅤ 𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 R͢I͢S͢K͢S͢⠀⠀⠀ 𝖆 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙖 ⠀⠀ ⠀ ㅤㅤ 𝖗 𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄.❕ ⠀ 𝖙 ︶ ͡ ۫ ·͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙💛•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ ۫ ͡ ︶ ᴏꜰ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ 𝐆 𝐎 𝐋 𝐃

"... I know I look fabulous but are you sure you're right in the head calling me a cool person?"

"And why would that be? Are you implying I've got a double around here? Heh. Funny."

"Is there a reason why I shouldn't hate humans? What did they do to deserve any kindness from me?"

The bricks come hurling at Envy. Fast, but not fast enough to catch him before he transforms into a raven and soars away from any destruction from the rubble. "Always in the mood for a fight. Don't you ever learn? It'll do you best to respect your superiors."

"So tragic and yet I didn't let myself be consumed by this so-called 'desire for friendship' with one of those pathetic humans. Heh. Still so ashamed at you own ugly looks that you can't even bear to show yourself without those tacky sunglasses? Greeeeed?"

Envy blinks, sort of set aback from that waving. "What's your deal? Didn't anyone teach you not to stare so long?"

"No one's ever called it a wonderful name before, but hey. I'll soak up the compliment. So then, how should I be calling you, doll?"

"Aww, what a coincidence to see you too, Lust. Last I heard, you were burning like a witch at the stake thanks to that Mustang fellow. Nice to see you back. I hope you don't die so soon this time around."

"You mean like this?" In a snap, Envy shapeshifts into ... Colonel Mustang. "Heh, I don't know how ugly this guy is, but I do know he pisses you off."

"That's it! That's it! Oooh, I did miss that temper. Thanks, Pip -- I mean, BEAN. You gave me a burst of energy from my otherwise dull, neverending life."

"That's a weird habit. You should be careful, going around calling strangers sweet names. You wouldn't want to get the attention of the wrong person, now would you? The name's Envy. Time will tell whether or not I am the wrong person."

"Cutie? Oh, you must be that type who calls all strangers sweetie or honey or whatever."

"Oh, it's you, Pipsqueak. Just the ray of sunshine I needed."

ᅠᅠ PLEASE ⠀ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⠀ DON'T ୨୧ TAKE S͟U͟B͟A͟R͟U͟ ᅠᅠ ⤷ SOMEWHERE⠀ 𖤐 ⠀ 𝙁𝘼𝙍 AWAY ‼ ᅠᅠ

Imagine you come back home and find this face waiting for you:

// no way there's a Subaru Sumeragi on here jaw. dropped!

ᅠᅠ ⠀⠀⠀ ᅠᅠ ⠀ ⠀ 𝐖𝐎𝐄 ⠀ ᯓ ⠀ BE ᅠᅠ ⠀ ᅠᅠ ⠀ ⤷ ᅠᅠUNTO BA͟B͟Y͟L͟O͟N͟⸝ ᅠᅠ ⠀⠀⠀ ᅠᅠ ⠀ ⠀ CITY 𝘍𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘌𝘕⠀ † ⠀ TO THE ᅠᅠ ⠀ ᅠᅠ ⠀ ᅠᅠ WR͟A͟T͟H͟ OF 𝐆𝐎𝐃 ！ ᅠᅠ

"Gluttony trying to eat the goddamn table as usual."

// they look like the goth kids that always hang out at that one spot in town

"You must be dumber than the Greed from my timeline. Is 'ugly' really the only insult you've got? Pathetic. I'm the Envy that used to be human but died and was resurrected in a faulty human transmutation. Then my ugly ass became a Homunculus and killed that Hughes guy, and you get the drift."

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well you're right for once. Instead of arguing about this crap, we should figure out how to make use of there being two of us. What do you say, William?"

// I made this meme a while ago but never posted it on here

He gives a dismissive wave of his hand, not to Majora but to the whole name issue. "He can keep it for a while if he's so desperate to feel human. It was a boring name, anyway, and as long as he can't do alchemy and behave the way 'William' did, he'll never be 'William'. You see?" He shrugs. -

"I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees. I'll keep my family safe..." Kyra Ikari Nightingale. Signer, Assassin, Sister and Duelist.

Envy cocks his head to the side and smirks. "Unbelievable, huh? It's just like us Homunculi. No one believes that we exist until we slap 'em in the face with the truth that nothing is impossible. It's all right. I won't pry. I like a little mystery here and there. I'll find out what you are when -

Envy shrugs. "Not me. Must be that Father guy. He's always yapping about and taking the other Envy out for human dinners. Me? I'm the Envy from the other timeline, so I shouldn't be pulling at you. Still, I know who you are and you reek of a Greed."

"You're still leeching off of that Xingese guy's body? Don't you know you're preventing him from becoming the Emperor by shaking your ass back to these parts?"

"Of all people, fucking Greed is here now."

"I'm envious for reasons you're incapable of understanding. It's called nostalgia. A specific nostalgia of who I was before I died and became an incomplete human transmutation. It grew and grew the longer time distanced me from my former self, from the person I was resurrected to become."

"I don't need to turn to hatred. I always hated everything. Hatred, jealousy, and love ... all of those are bound by a thin line that's easy to cross."

"Humans are lazy and pathetic creatures that refuse to recognise their own limits. What can I say? At least out of all their crap, I was able to become better than I used to be." Envy comes closer and raises an eyebrow at the horned creature. "You never told me what you are. A chimera?"

"The reason why they usually die in my world is because they're deformed as hell and need to eat human souls for a while until they gain a human-like body. Heh. Can you believe it? Some of these idiot alchemists try to make a human body out of mere ingredients, like it's a cake or pie."

Envys "end" 03 vs 09

i would do UNSPEAKABLE things for an FMA 03 spin off series getting into whatever the fuck was going on with Dante, Hoenheim, and Envy and also whatever went down between Dante and Greed

"Sure, sure. Let your attention and touch-starved heart keep saying that. We all want to destroy what rejects us and what we can't be, right?" He shrugs. "What do you know about my creator, anyway? Humour me. Tell me how terrible our relationship is."

"Most do ..." He squints his eyes and leans closer to the stranger. "How do you know that? Have you tried making your own little Homunculus? Hmmm?"

"Hahaha! You got the wrong Envy here, old man. I'm the one from the other universe who used to be human once. That's why I would never desire to be human again! I know what a load of bull it is, being one of those worms!"

"You've been observing me??"