Last walk of the week before the temps really drop!

That workout glow. 💪🏽

Good morning! It’s so pretty out today! Here’s the view from my balcony. Eddi is coming over later to go walk and slum around whilst I clean. Love my bestie! :)

Valentines Day by my damn self. 💅🏽

My motivation to lose more weight. 💪🏽

What even is my life? 🫣

Golden.

Finally got to watch the half time show on YouTube. Benito had me SOBBING!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

Good morning #heartsky. Went on a date yesterday. He seemed so into me and my energy but has been silent ever since. Oh well, guess it don’t mean much after all. Eddi dragged me to the mall after to talk it out and bought me ice cream so that was nice. Back to work today, I slept shit. Ugh.

This years goal. Drop another 30lbs. And having someone to hold you accountable and be your motivation.

Forced myself out of the flat today and communed in nature.

Happy Thursday #heartsky! I could really do with a cuddle.. 🥺

Well, that was the most bizarre dream I’ve ever had. 😶

Times have been very dark here lately.. but I’ve momentarily found a light in the storm. I dunno what we are but he’s always been very protective of me. For now, just enjoying our time together.

Spending last night in the ER was not on my bingo card this weekend. 😶 (I’m fine now. Still don’t know what caused it but ruled out a blood clot.)

This weekend flew by way too fast and I do not want to go back to work tomorrow.

The biggest downside to living in a flat block is hearing your neighbours shag. Because ultimately it reminds me of just how lonely I really am. 😞

Happy Friday #heartsky! I so love how much Joe loves Dylan and how much he supports 🏳️‍⚧️ humans!

Here’s an older one shot, #heartsky! Tara, Darcy and the gang and teen rebellion! And Charlie has a revelation. 🤭 archiveofourown.org/chapters/118...

They’re going after anyone now. 🧊 just took a guy from the Red Lake Reservation. Hes fully indigenous!! So if I end up disappearing, it’s because 🧊 took me away. I’m brown so this is a real possibility and could very well be my reality within the next 3 years!! 🥺🥺

It’s almost Friday #heartsky! It’s been a rough week.. especially with all that’s happening right now.. but one of my besties growing up sent me a flatwarming gift of a full length mirror!! I sobbed. I was looking to buy one but now I don’t have to! Love you Nicc! 😭🥹🥰

Thanks for the love today guys. I got hit with some shit today and I didn’t handle it as well as I could have. I spiraled and shut down. All while at work. Feeling a lot better now. ❤️❤️

I can’t do anything right. I’m just a burden to everyone in my life. I can’t do this anymore

I should be happy. But as always, my depression sneaks in and now that I have my own flat, I can sob loudly without worrying that my dad will hear me from the next room. 😞

Is he an angel, or is he an angel? 😍😍 #heartsky

Really itching for a good sidestep right now… #powwowlife #oldstylejingledress #medicinedress

This. Is. Not. Going. To. End. Well. 😶

1st January last year saw me on a movie set up in Cave Creek, AZ. It was a fun two weeks on set filming. I miss it. Still waiting for the finished product.

Merry New Year #heartsky!! I slept right through it, haha. Yep, I’m that person. 🤭🤣🙈 Off work today but go back tomorrow and we’re doing mandatory overtime Saturday to do inventory. Narf. Oh, I’ve also been super sick since last Friday but slowly getting better. Upper respiratory infection, woo!

Feeling a bit poorly but got too fidgety of just sitting around and forced myself to go walk. Now taking a nice hot bath.

Happy Christmas to those who celebrate #heartsky!! Having just moved into my new flat over the weekend, I couldn’t afford to do presents this year. But I am going to my dad’s after work today and step brothers tomorrow. Be safe, stay warm and spread love! ❤️🎄

My day finally came #heartsky! I’ve moved into my very first flat over the weekend! At age 41, I’ve never lived alone. I got all I can hung and sorted. Anxiety has hit though.. the what ifs and can i’s… here’s my pix!

I’m the only brown person in this restaurant.. I’m getting looks… 😶

Happy 79th Dad!!! 🎂

I wish someone looked at me the way Michael looks at Tori. 🥹😭 #heartsky

Good morning #heartsky! Been a fun weekend! Volunteered at an event Friday night, hit the shops with a couple friends yesterday before heading to Zoo Lights at the Phoenix Zoo. Today, we celebrate my dad’s birthday. Have a lovely Sunday!!!

Online dating is soooo weird. I’ve had a big influx of 20 something’s in my inbox. It’s bizarre. An ego boost, sure but, I’m not trying to pull a Dolly. IYKYK #heartsky

I’m fucking adorable, someone come snatch me up. 🥰

I’m 42 years old, skipping across the car park like a teenager. 🙈🤣

So.. my ex reached out today. He thanked me for the parcel I sent and apologised. He said his phone was stolen and he just got a new one. That I believe because the selfie he sent is with a flip phone and not his old Android. I still have questions…

The Charlie Box #heartsky. 🥹🥹 Alice posted on her IG story and I’m sobbing. 😭🙈

So, is it unhinged to send my ex items i promised him before he broke my heart? Because I did. I think as a fuck you and that I kept my promise even when he didn’t. I even said as much in a note. Didn’t leave my name or return address. But he’ll know it’s from me.

When all I want to do is sleep but I can’t stop crying.

I’m not sure what to make of it but my ex keeps looking at my dating profile.. does he not know I can see who views it? Also, feeling a bit better today. Thanks for all the love guys. ❤️💕

I’m tired of crying myself to sleep every night. I’m tired of being messed around. I’m tired of being so easily tossed aside. Im tired of living in a society that hates my existence. I’m tired of trying so hard. I’m tired of existing. I’m just so fucking tired.

So…. Went on a date today. We had a lot of fun. Hopefully I’ll see him again. :)

Hi #heartsky besties! I’m the aftermath of my breakup, someone else has reached out and is very interested. I wasn’t even looking but the chemistry is there. I’m not rushing into anything (Charlie Spring) but I’m open to the idea… I’m a blushing gigglebox right now. 🤭🙈

Still processing everything. But I think I’m over the hump. I’m never going to get the answers I want as to why he left me. I’m realising I wasn’t the problem, it was him. I gave him love, support, I was his cheerleader. And he still left. Obviously he’s moved on. Now, so am I.

The dust hasn’t even settled yet and he already has his dating profiles back up. Did I mean absolutely nothing to him? He looked at me like I hung the moon and two weeks later, he’s back online looking for dates. How is this my fucking life?? 😭💔

I can’t stop crying. 💔