Love Story might be the first mainstream TV show to employ a fluffer 🍆

The Silicon Valley has spent the last 30 years disrupting their way out of reality, and the biggest mistake they made was forgetting a world exists outside our screens. If AI is an end result as monumentous as they believe, it’s merely proof they have nothing left to offer.

It’s nice that potato shaped MAGA chodes spouting rage about rainbow crosswalks are too chickensh*t to go into any city with more than 100,000 people. “Try that in a small town”? Pipe down, Chet. You’re afraid of Peoria.

Consumers paid $160B in illegal tariffs, so the government’s giving companies a $160B bailout. Not consumers. Watch Amazon, Walmart, etc. stock soar, again. Watch prices remain where they are. It’s almost like this was the plan all along.

The billionaires are desperate for AI to be the next internet and it shows. They’ve gambled everything on manufactured disruption no one asked for like a megalomaniac invading a nation to manipulate oil stocks.

I’m not happy about boomers facing Medicaid cuts, but remember when you told us we wouldn’t have trouble paying rent if we just stopped buying avocado toast? Well, maybe you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps and sell that third house you never use to pay for your dialysis.

I’m sure Aaron Parnas has some good views but god I’m f*cking sick of seeing his face.

Let’s be clear, the attack on Sam Altman’s house was not an attack on AI. It was an attack on a growingly delusional cabal of tax-exempt billionaires who’ve come to believe the public reveres them like gods all because they offer us products engineered for no purpose but their own endless profit.

Every Amazon listing ever: Here’s a 15’ pool for $50 (you’re actually getting the tarp to cover it that’s barely mentioned or shown).

It’s time for states to start accessing and confirming as much individualized power as possible. The federal government is devouring itself from within, and the future could look a lot more like a smattering of independent or clustered states than one union.

The FBI brought down a modern legend with unsubstantiated claims, ruined a childhood icon’s career for owning vintage Playboys, but won’t touch the 3.5M pages, 2000 videos, and 180,000 images in the Epstein Files because they’d prove the real perverts are rich, straight, white men.

We didn’t like AI when Microsoft’s Clippy was offering help. We don’t like AI when it tells us to put our bag in the bagging area. And we’re not going to like AI when it’s a condescending customer service rep telling us how much it values our business. Wake up. No one wants this.

The fact that Richard Gadd insisted on playing himself in his own biopic is the kind of self indulgence that should red flag the notion that Baby Reindeer is mostly bullsh*t.

“From the world of…” Nope. I’m out. I’m not watching a two hour commercial for a franchise that never ends. That’s not a film, it’s marketing.

Theoretically, we shouldn’t hear about a “global shortage” or “supply chain issues” from retailers because they’re cooked into a company’s business model in anticipation of such events. Now, instead of eating the cost to maintain customer loyalty, they use these events to manufacture inflation.

The rich are eating themselves and I love this journey for them.

The people who say Vance would be no better than Trump are ignoring the fact that Trump commands his followers with the power of a cult leader. If he were removed from office, they'd finally have someone to blame.

My hospital announced possible layoffs due to Trump’s healthcare cuts, meanwhile the billionaires just got billions richer and still pay less taxes than the nurses bound to lose their jobs.

I can’t think of a better campaign for unions than 500 billboards in an unaffordable city blatantly telling companies to replace employees with AI.

Angi’s a pimp. The app charged me $340 and paid the handyman $120. We looked.

I say this as a secular person: these megalomaniacs need Jesus in their lives. When someone gets so much money and power but still fears mortality, the church down the street won’t do, so they hoard wealth and power and begin thinking of themselves as infallible gods.

Don’t ever take away his phone. Let him keep testing his own base’s patience right up to midterms.

It’s not a “pivot,” it’s straight up stock manipulation. I’m sure the Allbirds bros are loving the windfall of cash, but if Coke decided to abandon its core product to “pivot” to VHS tapes, you can bet the SEC would be all over their ass.

Companies laying off staff to invest in AI aren’t going to be feeling it when vendors raise their prices 10 fold. Here’s the thing. AI isn’t a self perpetuating revenue mill like social media. It needs customers to survive. It’s not cocaine. It’s meth. Once you’re hooked, you’re gonna have to pay.

A 10 ceasefire isn’t peace. It’s stock manipulation.

It’s nice seeing all the Trump flags quietly come down, but I think their yards should be forced to wear them, like a Scarlet T.

Since it went mainstream, Nashville hot chicken’s been reduced to a mild barbecue sauce. It’s supposed to burn, but the internet’s mobbed with mild recipes by skinny white women who can’t take the heat.

That Trump is allowed to remain president isn't some result of a perfect storm, it only means the GOP is wondering why they didn't run a lot of ass holes way sooner.

Portland's tiny home camps aren't solutions to its homelessness crisis. They're vanity projects for activists who continue to fail the homeless for the same reason our government does: inattention. The projects failed because of money. Portland's failing because of the influencer-activist hustle.

Cities like Chicago and Philadelphia have the sax solo quality New York has never managed to capture. I defy you to walk through South Philly on a late spring evening and not hear Glenn Fry's "You Belong to the City" in your head.

There are no real consequences for people with money and power in America. Every 15 years or so they throw us a Harvey Weinstein at the masses to shut us up, but most - if any - spend 6 months at Camp Cupcake before publishers are bidding to ghost write their biography.

I really want to like Big Mistakes, but Levy and Sennett’s onslaught of Italian Catholic stereotypes doesn’t have the nuance of The Sopranos and reads more like a New Jersey minstrel show.

Quotes that make me rage: “We just had the kitchen remodeled so we only do takeout.”

When an employee died at an Amazon facility, his coworkers were told to continue working around his corpse for an hour. Remember that the next time you’re too lazy to drive to Grand Union for paper towels.

I’m not sure how a grandma hustling delivery gigs is supposed to make us sympathize with the party that took away her Medicaid.

Ironic how space obsessed billionaires had nothing to say about the first flight beyond Earth’s low orbit since 1972. It’s almost like they realized their for-profit rocket stunts and cowboy hats don’t compare to actual science.

The presidency is supposed to age the president, not the public. I want a refund for the decade Trump stole from me.

AI’s best and only use would be filtering out AI.

What everyone needs to understand is, MAGA’s Christians consider Catholics fake Christians. It would be more surprising if Trump insulted Joel Osteen than the pope. In fact, insulting the pope is in line with his base. Spend any time in the South and you know exactly what I’m talking about.

The Christian nationalists and evangelicals behind MAGA and the GOP put as much stock in the pope as the Easter bunny. Catholics are an exception on the religious Right, not the rule. The pope’s words just won’t ever matter to them. If anything, his remarks will make them double-down.

I honestly don’t think Melania has the depth to know what was going on, or if she did, the conscience to care.

Lauren Southern represents the influencer grift. Exploit hate and sow outrage to amass followers, then stage an about face and write a book about how you discovered compassion. Somehow that’s worse than just being authentically evil.

If the multiverse theory is true, somewhere out there is a song called “Making Love in the Arby’s Bathroom.”

These fashion designers keep dressing Connor Storrie up like a second season Twin Peaks villain, and men are following suit. Here’s the problem. Connor Storrie doesn’t make a sheer Balenciaga blouse look good. Connor Storrie looks good in spite of a sheer Balenciaga blouse.

I’m not saying Armageddon exists, but I do think we’re underestimating just how much of this biblical garbage Trump’s cabinet actually believes, and that they might be trying to invoke it. After all, their false profit started a war between the three Abrahamic religions in the Holy Land.

Spring weather really brings out the SUNY kids. Lots of pink hair and canes.

I wonder how much Trump billed Puerto Rico for that roll of paper towels he threw at them.

I don’t promote violence against women, but every time I hear that Kardashian vocal fry I want to kick her in the throat. Targeted advertisement fail, Hulu.

“Motivation is a lie. The plan is the truth.” I know cult speak when I hear it, and these Ladder commercials got Jim Jones’ stank all over them.

“Modern farmhouse,” i.e. “rustic contemporary,” needs to be stopped. Barn doors belong in a barn, not a house!