Student pilot is back in town

got sent a sex tape as a birthday present today

Working today

If I fart will my haemorrhoid cream come out

Guy who gave me friction burn on my hog messaged me again

Ex oomf virality

Farting in the back garden

Dl hookup gave me friction burn on my dick

Lathered in lotion and coconut oil

Do I know you from somewhere… why do you leave me wanting more… why do all the things I say sound like those stupid things I said before….

Natalie Portman McRib

Just wanted to let you guys know I’m reading all your skeets with two fingers up my ass

That dick corrupt me

Poops have been so good lately

Smoking a joint and immediately getting horny

When the coochie overstimulating

Officially entered a state of mania

This hangover so bad omfg

Just want my food

No delivery driver for my order

Bowl is packed ready for takeaway eatings instead of uni assignment

For context he didn’t reply to me when I asked for his address and then blocked me the next morning

Ass feels kinda fatter

Douched and dangerous

Dick appointment booked

Spliff smoking is now

Sugar daddy pending

Essay due in a week and I’ve only read 3 articles in preparation for it

My bowel movements have been so good lately

Dildo with foreskin

Had a cigarette induced shit and it was really cathartic

Been putting off washing my hair for so long I think it’s starting to create its own species up there

420 was a success

Going to get high and touch myself

Starting 420 on cloud nine

Good morning

I’m going fucking crazy WTAF

Can’t stop thinking about weed

I think about oomf a lot

Didn’t out enough weed in

Spliff smokings

Roach hasn’t gotten me high

Just had a coffee and a cigarette

The way I’ve had oral sex 😭😭😭😭😭

Wait this lowkey my best keyboard smash yet

Rolling cigarettes to pass the time

#nw novocaine and Caroline polachek on the soundtrack OKAYYY

Sniffing poppers when constipated

Buying tickets for the next brave screening on the hunt for Scottish trade