Not really related to the movie, but I like that we’ve all collectively decided that Godzilla is a cat #svengoolie

King Kong’s greatest weakness: #svengoolie

BATH TIME! #svengoolie

What’s that, the octopus wants our berry juice?? Get him! #svengoolie

“And now we interrupt this movie to explain this movie to you idiots” “So what IS Godzilla anyway?” “He’s a reptle” #svengoolie

Lookit this cute lil guy! Raah! #svengoolie

Fun fact, this is only the third ever Godzilla movie, and the first one in color #svengoolie

“The geiger response is climbing” “Not bad not great” #svengoolie

It’s the heavyweight match of the century, a fight between the primordial reaction to man’s nuclear hubris made manifest into a godlike unstoppable dragon of unspeakable power…and big monke. WHO WILL WIN?! Find out (you won’t) in: Godzilla vs King Kong! Or wait, was it… #svengoolie

Ohhhhh everyone was dead the whole tiiiiime. Very cool very neat. Or in other words: NOTHING WE WATCHED MATTERED #svengoolie

I’d joke about these idiots suddenly taking charge of investigating this mystery, but on second thought they DO look like the Scooby gang #svengoolie

“I don’t want to waste any more time” says the woman. TELL THAT TO THE MOVIE #svengoolie

You know there’s “slow burn” and then there’s forgetting to have a plot, and this movie is walking the razors edge of that line #svengoolie

Bro called himself “gen Y” there’s not a chance in hell this script was written by anyone under 60 #svengoolie

Business Class cramming FOUR seats together, I see we’re getting the Spirit experience in this movie #svengoolie

You know, I’m just realizing that at no point in this movie are we given Cushing’s motivations, besides being a weird collector guy. Why is this happening, why have we descended to madness? Because he was bored I guess! #svengoolie

THRILL as Peter Cushing reads silently to himself for five minutes straight! #svengoolie

“De Sade was much worse than mad. He was possessed. Possessed by an evil, sexy spirit” “What?” “What?” #svengoolie

FILMED ON LOCATION IN DE SADE-O-VISION #svengoolie

I don’t know if it’s the smartest idea to open your secret book safe directly in front of the sketchy black market antiques dealer #svengoolie

How convenient, it’s a picture book…oh no it’s a picture book #svengoolie

Robert Englund with a Vampira anecdote long winded enough to be worthy of The Aristocrats #svengoolie

I was gonna make a joke about this guy keeling over for not ventilating those acid fumes, but that’s just what happens haha #svengoolie #theSkull

Ah I see we’ve turned the classic “stumble onto all the bodies” slasher trope into a dry accounting exercise, very fun! #thelastdrivein #mutantfam #dontgointhewoods

It’s certainly a choice to grind everything to a complete halt by having the main characters find safety, only to cut back to even more characters who still need to get killed. It’s like throwing up, passing out, & getting a second wind. Go home movie you’re drunk #thelastdrivein #mutantfam

I do think it’s very funny that on day one the campers said they’re heading for a cabin and they’ll reach it by morning, and then it NEVER comes up again. It’s day three and there are so far zero cabins! #thelastdrivein #mutantfam #dontgointhewoods

OH my god, this movie was LITERALLY scotch taped together that is incredible! #TheLastDriveIn #mutantfam #dontgointhewoods

Any time this movie gets even slightly bored, it panics and introduces another group of characters. At this pace, our cast is going to contain half the population of Utah #TheLastDriveIn #mutantfam

ZERO breasts in the rundown? Clearly Darcy is making up for that, it all makes sense now haha #TheLastDriveIn #mutantfam #joebob

Rich girl getting her shit kicked in before the priest is killed feels appropriately karmic, given how openly creepy she was the entire movie lol #TheLastDriveIn #mutantfam #joebob

Quick recap of what happened: She killed a guy, ran away scared into the woods, the evil guy helped hid the body, she ran to a woman’s house, killed her, ran scared into the woods, the evil guy visited the house, she ran all the way back to the same house, and dragged him off to go back. #svengoolie

“Good news! It’s a suppository!” #svengoolie

Boyfriend is like, “wait I know a guy who might know something about this. …He runs a pawn shop” #svengoolie

“Happy Birthday darling. I got you a ring pop” #svengoolie

Hey I didn’t know Thing had a sister! #svengoolie

How do you even perform a criminal trial on a foreign leader?? Is there even a mechanism for this in our justice system? It makes no sense

Happy New Year to Nancy Drew, The SHADOW, and the OG wielder of The Secret - the freakin Little Engine That Could, all of whom “I think I can”ed their way into the Public Domain as of now! Have fun solve crimes choo choo!!

***Categorizing people’s criteria for what counts as a Christmas movie*** STRICT: must be about xmas Traditional: lets you know its xmas Statistical Average: takes place on xmas Zealous: must contain a nativity scene Temperature Sensitive: any movie with snow Unhinged: any film released on xmas

Before Batman Begins, before The Red Hood, before Hush…there was Mask of the Phantasm. And it did it the best #batmanTAS

Damn I’m losing signal. It’s the authentic 70s experience! #svengoolie

Watching this guy who is apparently late, now struggling to maintain 60mph and letting a big rig gain on him is a grim reminder that 70s cars cut through the air like a brick #svengoolie

I’m gonna tell kids this is what drafting is #svengoolie

“REPORT: Wrestling Midgets” please movie I want to know more! #svengoolie

I’m gonna tell my kids this is the prequel to Longlegs #svengoolie

Devil Doll, guest starring these eyebrows #svengoolie

Oh no he’s turned her into the Winter Soldier #svengoolie

When you’re a British actress 60 and up, it’s vitally important that you perfect the phrase “Absolutely marvelous!” because that will be 80% of your dialogue for the rest of your career #svengoolie

Warning: Devil Doll contains some potentially terrible scenes. Viewer discretion is advised #svengoolie

Ah yes good, storytelling 101: have your hero and villain both express the same idea. There’s no conflict more exciting than everyone agreeing with each other #svengoolie

“I’ve brought in a professional dancer” *starts flailing randomly* We’ll uh, take your word for it #svengoolie