Why is it my dog will drink from the skankiest puddles in the world, but turn her nose up at yesterday’s water in her bowl?

The sweet taste of a free bar cannot be beaten.

Ah, the satisfaction of opening the jar that seemed like it was welded shut. And my wrist aching for hours afterwards. Beetroot was not worth the effort.

Looking forward to doing three days work ahead of having two days off

The early bird doesn’t always get the worm. They often get the best parking space. I’m the worm in this proverb.

Well spring lasted the obligatory 2 days before winter came back saying we’d forgotten something

So it seems to be post picture of your pets day…. Ladies, gents and perfect people, this lovely being is Indie Disco #cutecockapoos #cockapoos

Pretty sure I can say I’ve gone another week not needing to use Pythagoras’ theorem. Thanks Mr Baker.

If you’ve submitted more than 10 content errors on a kindle you should get a free premium book. Or a job offer to proofread their content.

Repairing a bike puncture in your (cough) fifties is not a cool look. Silver linings, it was my first since I hit double digits 👍🏼

Spot the superfluous words

Honestly wondering what the excuse is now?

How I arrived on Bluesky:

Spent an evening with two Americans and unteaching them all English words they thought they knew. Such fun!

Time for my hourly reminder from @ticketmaster.com to download my ticket for a gig. I might have forgotten if it wasn’t for the 12th reminder

Here’s a big well done to everyone who put their underwear on the right way round this morning.

I’m a senior manager. Some of my best staff management tips come from my previous career teaching 7 year olds but there isn’t really a way to tell my colleagues which doesn’t sound terrible.

Also more awkward ghosting someone IRL when you’ve still got some of your pint left.

And just like that, we’re back in the 1990s 😉

Next coronation sees the monarch crowned with a cardboard crown bedazzled with plastic jewels and wearing a painted pasta necklace.

I’ve had the same office chair for almost 7 years. Today I read the instructions for use and finally have a comfortable ‘seat depth’ 🤦🏼‍♀️

Time to vacuum pack the winter coats

You know your Egyptian holiday is over when you’ve Shown your passport x5 Been metal detected and felt up x3 Taken your shoes, watch and belt off x2 Had your visa and passport stamped at passport control, then show it to the grumpy shouty man right next to the booth and saw the first guy stamp it🤣

Trying to work out the balance of pettiness and civic minded vibes when neighbours insist on parking two vans across their own drive and beyond making the pavement impassable with a pram (an offence). OH is staring to park our car - fully in the road- to stop it happening

Cute but quickly annoying!

Currently channelling Craig Revel Horwood the vote is open vibes. This is just this morning’s attire. It’s gonna get ‘better’.

Whoop whoop! Wordle 1,267 3/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Can anyone explain why Christmas lights have twinkle/flash settings when all we really want is twinkle???

Despite apparently being a top 2% fan and spending 547 minutes together, I had to play the song to know what it was #repeatedgymplaylist #spotifyunwrapped2024

Here’s my annual two fingers up to the ‘elf on a shelf’ posters out there. I really don’t care where it’s hidden. I’m a grown up.

There are two big (annoying) lies that seem to impact my life…. 1: the washing machine says it has 1 minute remaining on the cycle 2: 02 City Hall Newcastle saying a show will start at (insert time here) prompt You’re stealing my life!!

Abbreviations!!!! Wordle 1,259 5/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛🟨⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟨⬛⬛ 🟨⬛⬛🟨⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

There only so many times I can go through ‘my dad has died what do I need to do/fill in this mountain of forms please’ conversations in one day. Unfortunately my limit and resolve is lower than the number of forms and conversations required.

@safety.bsky.app think I’ve found my first annoying account on this place … is it a bot??? @marcus8312.bsky.social

First world problems in the winter… finding your slippers don’t fit on over the 20 million tog socks you’ve surgically attached to your feet

I’ve just allowed a smidge of Christmas into my life in November. Cinema for #RedOne. Help me now!!!

Waking up to the general feeds on @bsky.app feels a lot more wholesome than the place that shall not be named. Loving the new community 🫶