hey diva.. can I call you diva? my name is detective fierce… you’re not in trouble boots, we’re just trying to get the tea on this situation.

her web connects them all 🕸️

yellow cab drivers used to know the streets of nyc like the back of their hand. this dude just handed me his phone and said put in the address. 😭

my uber driver was playing some extremely bland pop music i didn’t recognize. the album art looked a little off so I looked closer and it was a YouTube playlist of AI GENERATED MUSIC. we are so cooked.

i think someone forgot 😬

didn’t feel like doing Amer*ca stuff yesterday, so my friends and i put dinosaurs in drag instead.

you’re laughing. i have the oœnly twehnty-fouhr kareht gœwld la bew bew and you’re laughing.

this is what the heat feels like btw

does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?

this is me if you even care

her web connects them all 🕸️

she was so real for this

how it feels to clock a gag #TheWhiteLotus

he looks like he’s about to tell Thomas Hutter ɨȶ ɨֆ ǟ ɮʟǟƈӄ օʍɛռ ȶօ ʝօʊʀʀʀʀռɛʏ ɨռ քօօʀʀʀ ɦɛǟʟȶɦ.

it’s 2025 and i need attention

i know this bitch got tea (literally)

we deserve each other me and

the shit people say in profiles is crazy: “love to laugh.” uh yeah, you know what else feels good? breathing. sitting. i really like sleeping, have you tried it?

I just stepped in frozen diarrhea. Happy Saturday!

if you’re not online enough to understand this i envy you

you ever just sitting in a coffee shop absentmindedly scrolling through bluesky when you come across someone ********* their ***** ******* and ******* their *** **** till they *** and then you remember you’re in public so you scroll away as fast as you can but you’re pretty sure it’s too late? yeah.

oh you added the Sean Cody logo to Luigi’s thirst trap? should we tell everyone? should we throw a parade? should we invite Andy Cohen?

Moo Deng fell off HARD once she decided to stick her greasy little snout into American politics 🤭

VVouldst thou like to

cab almost ran me over in the crosswalk and the driver just gave me a thumbs up and kept going 😭 idgaf levels off the charts

i couldn’t find this on bluesky so here it is because i’m still 保留空间 for it

i forgot i can’t open this app at work on a Friday #fcf

“The Hawk Tuah Girl Launched a Meme Coin, Everybody Lost Their Money, People Want Her Thrown in Jail.” You bolt awake in the mountains of Carthage. You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn.

it’s almost time for quismoiss!!

him: you better not be yassified Gozer in an 80s power suit when i get there! my Gozerian ass:

this is how it feels when nobody likes my skeets

it’s almost HER time! 🫡

i could have been added to a starter pack through work but my skeets are unhinged and should not be associated with my employer or the word “journalism”

this tweet single-handedly ruined twinks for me 😭

serving the dessert i made

spent all day in the kitchen but i’m finally done

i thought this was D&D terrain

🫣🥴

that’s really powerful

oh you thought Wicked was “too long”

am i sad i haven’t been added to g*ys of bluesky or relieved i wasn’t put on the national homosexual registry? hard to say.

Wicked is so good I forgot to be sad for almost 3 hours

i have a very problematic follower to following ratio (i don’t have enough followers)

this is me if u even care

when it’s 4am and they turn the lights on at the gay bar

idk who made this but it has no business going this hard 😫

lots of butts out tonight on bsky