Should I make my 6am alarm to Booty-Whap by Big Freeda? (I am)

I’m watching Euphoria for the first time…this is a republican tv show yeah?

Just realized how are people in the year 2101 going to say the date? ‘It’s the year two thousand one hundred and one’…doesn’t have a ring to it

Wondering why I’m bloated this week and it’s because my meal prep of a burger party with a dense bean salad, cotija cheese and half an avocado is a thousand calories a meal 🙃

Do you turn your headphones down to smell things?

Omg just realized my posts are negative…ok well I went to a stripper store in Hollywood and got my girlfriend a birthday gift

I hate meta glasses 💜

Just did my taxes…what’s a good country to move to?

New favorite thing is saying ‘I’m finna bus’ and then get on the bus

Went to a pharmacy for the first time to pick up medication for my Roomate. What’s going on? Why does it take 20 minutes to put pills in a bag?

Remembering the time I put on C’mon Ride That Train by Quad City Dj’s in front of my church thinking it was about trains 😭

Just got really mad thinking how I wanted to take a Wilderness Medic class (learn how to make a splint or deal with heat stroke in areas of limited help) and my ex said ‘that’s dumb don’t do it’….and I didn’t :( I think for my birthday I’m going to sign up for a course. Fuck him lol

Not having a car makes me realize how much the American economy runs on gasoline and insurance

I feel sad about the people being deployed. They’re young and spent formative years in lockdown, now off to a war. Not a second of a normal life

I refuse to give YouTube money to remove ads because it spiritually feels like giving the school bully my lunch money

What is this and why is it on at my local dive bar?!?!?!?!?!

I feel like I’m busy living life and I look down and suddenly all my socks have holes in them and stains on all my shirts

Currently listening to the Bram Stokers Dracula soundtrack done by the Polish National Radio Symphony Orchestra and every song is a banger 🔥

What are we doing chat, Locking In or Crashing Out?

I think I’m an aggressive sleeper, but that’s the only health issue you need to have someone over to find out. I can’t be like ‘I think I have diabetes, I should find out by bringing home a guy to the bar’

Why am I getting these ads 😭

They give out free ice cream at Bob’s Discount Furniture store, you just gotta pretend to be interested in a couch or something

I twisted my knee and it hurts and I didn’t realize how much your knees are involved in everything 😢

I remember almost 10 years ago when a version of Meta Glasses was being pitched to the population and we were like ‘nah that’s for nerd losers!’

Idk if I need to get my blood pressure checked or if it’s totally normal to be annoyed at the guy talking loudly in the bus

Hey quick question- where did the money from the DOGE cuts go???

Took an edible an hour ago. Now about to go to bed not feeling anything. Can’t wait to wake up at midnight seeing God

Jupiter (the planet of luck) is in Cancer ♋️ right now, so if you have big cancer placements you might have a lil pep in your step or extra luck. (Yesterday the waitress gave me 6 oysters on the house.)

Found a $1 oyster spot. Is eating 24 oysters too much?

Oh no…got drunk at a bar and showed the bouncer a shitty video of me boxing I’m so embarrassed 😭

East of Eden is on and I forget how much modern entertainment is made for background noise while you’re getting ready, making dinner ect…until you see a classic film and think ‘oh this is how it should be huh?’

I need new gym music. What do you blast when you workout?

Why do men like banana bread so much? It’s like a universal dude thing

Well well well…I used to have a conspiracy ‘joke’ that McDonald’s meat was ground up poor people and looks like I was right 😭

Gonna go dancing tonight at a popular zoomer concert. I feel like that Steve Buscemi meme where he’s holding a skateboard ‘how do you do fellow kids’ 🤓

I’m feeling really tired and moody lately. I don’t know if it’s my hormones or *gestures wildly around the world

Muay Thai fighters are the scariest because what do you mean you’re using your shin bone as a weapon ??? 💀

I’m turning into my mother (can’t watch a movie with bad acting)

Instagram reels say if you’re on your period during the blood moon tonight you’re an all powerful witch, but I just ordered a cheesesteak and root beer are it and laid down so idk about all that

Whenever I’m feeling crazy I remember- who is the rational, logical, perfect person I should look up to? Where?

Got the bill for therapy last month and ya know what…I’m all healed now, thanks 😀

Accidentally farted real loud in front of two older Russian men and…they didn’t care

Going to a fairy princess ball tonight 🧚 very excited

Just put my birthdate and info into a different astrology website and it’s a totally different chart 🙃

The way things are going right now I gotta sober up and learn how to use some kind of weapon bc why was I talking to a man at a bar who, unknown to me at the time, attacked a woman in plain daylight and no one did anything

Thinking about booking a flight to Australia just to try the Tyra Banks Hot Ice Cream

Remember when I was in New York hanging out with an Italian friend, overhearing two Italians SCREAMING at each other in Italian. I ask my friend if they’re ok, he said ‘no they’re just deciding where to eat for lunch’ 💀

Hot air balloon ride…good or bad? Sounds fun but you are hundreds of feet in the air in a wicker basket

One moment that saved my life was from TV when Blanche from Golden Girls lied about her age as 35… at the time I was 35 and thought I was so old I should give up. From that tv episode I made decisions that positively impacted my life in the long run but were scary in the moment.

Pam Bondi: ‘forget about the Epstein files look how good the market is!’