practically half six in the morning and getting the shakes in the legs... why are these weeklyyy! seizures </3 better be just legs again... i don't want hospital people to come round here again thanks, to do stuff- not yet until the tests... anyway bye (nobody is online...)

oh yay more dias~

pretty sure 99% of the views on both mv's are by yours truly, at this point-

forgot i named the playlist that... smsjs

still on repeat-

i still wanna so badly be able to use my money to go to that one site to be able to be picked a star, and get to name it makoto or yuuki (and also trickstar-) just so makoto is with the rest of trickstar with something space themed named in our 'verse and help subaru's wish come true about it...

i'mma go watch yt and then play more enstars... still not at day 20... so drained.

i tried my best to make mao and i- (couldn't make soyo...) picrew.me/en/image_mak...

self found a picrew on my besties old bsky acc... (i was tryna look for something i remember him posting ages ago-) should i do the picrew?

actually that brings a thought. wonder if anybody still reads my old (character wise!!) smalletho oneshots on ao3...

only thing i can again remember is: smalletho as valkyrie. grian as eichi. jimmy as tomoya.

why am i randomly remembering my life smp and hermitcraft members × enstars au idea i has ages ago...

thanks enstars-

guess there's even more posts to delete- i wish there was a way to delete my super early on posts on this acc too honestly, i mean, thankfully technically nobody here can read them, but- still.

researching stuff is so generally hard with the all ia-but backwards on the search engine... i don't likey-

i didn't know self punishing counts as self harming- (researched)

idk if anyone is online anymore but, can't i ask, for future times, if people could perhaps help me step-by-step with the... try not to self punish thing...? i always do it after spirals, so... and i'll, suppose have to, do research too to how not to do it as well...- saying on both socmeds i use.

i think the cats touched my dinner earlier, idk, so i don't think i can eat that now... and it's too late to cook anything up- plus, we have a strict rule of no appliances to be used past midnight, except for the kettle if needing a drink, because it's the quietsest appliance in the kitchen for us.

nobody said anything, but here... it's stopped. idk if i'll be able to sleep ~tonight~ though, because i woke up only at before 4pm.

okay didn't know you can do that... suppose i'll give notes app a retry then.

shpuld i stop the timer then?

i been trying to look for an alternative to putting vents somewhere instead of docs anyway, and idk where even is a good place. docs keeps being full of storage and lagging because of it. (plus i have extra needed stuff on there that ain't just vents.)

after bestie let me have tjis acc as my own, it was originally a vent acc but talked in a different language that only i knew from my small circle... and only after coming back mid last uear, i turned it into a fan acc. anyway, mum says it's normal to self punish.

me saying that am self punishing is not me guilty tripping anybody... i said it on this acc all the time, even before i decided to turn it into a fan acc. am just doing what i know and taught is normal.

i got lock your gaze looping on the tv from yt at a low volume, plus headphones on to watch ytx2 on my phone in a small window whilst i play enstars, and finder girl is stuck in my head playing.

i'mma just go play enstars...

where'd everybody go... not again.

made an acc for the oc's

"Have you heard of [Po-ruwlyn]?" "No... what is it?" "Po-ruwlyn, it's the nickname of a continent of this world that has died and revived itself [70 years] after the [Blue Hue Collapse]. The continent is ruled by nobody. It's the perfect place for us [runaways] to live at." "How do we get there?"

i'll go delete the spiralling posts. but please don't ignore the post before this one.

retry with these 2 questions...

can... i retry with the question? if anyone is online...

i started panicking because, nobody was online when i posted a question and i thought i did something wrong which then triggered the main 3 voices to appear and every thing went downhill... and because i haven't heard them in over a month, they were really strong and hard not to fall away from...

i'm... sorry. for listening to the voices up in mind.

his voic husshed the ojes in mind

maomiemusic jusr cameon t v

am thinking of turning my fave own made up au idea into an oc thing instead... but idk if anybody would enjoy it and i can only edit over the enstars cast to turn into oc's-

time to do starry lives i suppose~

i have only been awake for an hour, and it's already dark outside...

i'mma go feed my cats then watch yt to fall asleep to- tis half five in the morning-

neo is snoring- (need volume up a decent amount to hear him.)

why did a mature label get set to that (deleted) post hello???

??? okau deleting post right awY what

oh there's more likes hello-

i can never play fortissimo of flutter on 3d mode because some of the camera movements give me motion sickness </3

double trickstar!!

having that horrid thought and questioning again if am a bad person and all...

oli has quote reposts off </3 anyway loverboy jumpscare on tl NOT MENTIONED BY ME-

brain fuzzy... mind mode confusion.

dones with own questions. sorry for being annoying-