I have that washer and dryer!

His finisher! The Kiss of Death!

"Why aren't more white people working in Chinese restaurants?" "And nail salons. What's up with that?"

We don't have to play the Super Bowl in Florida, do we? Especially with all these new stadiums being built.

Well, he did end up managing the New York Knights.

And we can't get anti-cancer medication in the U.S. either.

That 10-year-old and his mom abd teacher should show up at her next town hall meeting and read her that letter word for word. That us, if she ever bothers to hold them.

We gave them $1.5 trillion and now they're short of money?

Welcome to the United States Army. Here's your gun. Now, go out and fight!

Exodus 20:3

With those eyes, he looks like What happens if Kash Patel and Susan Dell had a baby.

I guess the Adderall hadn't worn off yet.

Maybe Trump needs more sperm.

Looking at that really makes me want to take a leak.

Doesn't Kegbreath have a way to bungle?

But I'm sure FOX will find a way to twist itself into a pretzel to justify it.

Notice "Road Rules Sean" is driving and not flying.

What were the other 999,998 things you did, Mr. Soybean?

Republican math.

So, that means we're out?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

One pole. You're welcome.

Isn't executive time over? Shouldn't they have given him his pudding cup and sent him to bed?

28 more posts like this since.

So, tweeting incessantly counts as executive time. When does he ever work?

Three hours of his life that he'll never get back.

King Nothing.

Road trip? Doesn't his wife have a real job?

Has me made his usual holiday tweet yet?

Amazing that 29 is the actual number.

He's going to bring the ballroom wherever he goes. Or build a portable one.

The first presidential envoy who's a bot. Lovely.

Social media is the most significant social experiment in our lifetime and we have failed it miserably.

Was he writing with his feet?

They're like driving around in a refrigerator.

Can we start calling him Gru?

But why save a 7-year-old boy with Leukemia when we can build another tank?

I like this Muppet more.

Average lifespan in America is ranked 62nd. We're behind Panama.

We are not a nation whose economy is based on capitalism. Ours is based on greed.

5. The problem I have with you, Mr. President is that...

The Red Sox would still be in last place.

Sure it is. Only it's Republican math.

These people are so incompetent they can't get their stories straight.

One day, he'll try to manipulate the markets and they'll fall off a cliff.

Remind me never to fly there.

Hopefully they will dilute the districts that were once slam dunk red.

Perhaps you should say fuck it.

Big Macs and riding his cart to "golf." No wonder he falls asleep at his desk.

And her breasts doubled in size and are now made of silicone.