CLOSED

Lacklustre That’s the word for our current social media approach.

We are officially one more ‘let’s pedestrianise Oxford Street’ closer to the end of days.

#Free on kindle From 23rd-27th April The Museum of Forward Planning Manual: Abridged thoughts on how not to run a museum amzn.eu/d/8QacGfW Driving reach and reputation, but not revenue #Museums

#Free on kindle From 23rd-27th April The Museum of Forward Planning Manual: Abridged thoughts on how not to run a museum amzn.eu/d/8QacGfW Driving reach and reputation, but not revenue #Museums

As we approach our target of 900 followers here, we pause to remind ourselves that it’s totally arbitrary.

We’ve launched our new exhibition for Easter weekend! Produced using degenerative AI instead of our (now downsized) human team, you’ll experience a large number of things that ‘aren’t quite right but you can’t put your finger on it’ Please bring your own cup for coffee. #Museums

Please bring a torch if you’re visiting this Easter. We’ve used all available power to create AI illustrations of items that aren’t real but which would look cool in the gift shop. The world burns. Etc.

Just a reminder to all visitors. We know we are actually handing out chocolate eggs in our gallery spaces. But let’s be VERY CLEAR - you may not eat the chocolate eggs in our spaces. Think of it as a test. And of yourselves as failures #Museums #Easter

Easter activities are now under way! As always this is a crucial period for us as performance over the holiday will irrationally and completely stuff the rest of the budgets. #HappyEaster

Ticket prices have been adjusted. If you have a membership for another museum we will be adding a 25% tariff to your entry. Heritage organisation membership will attract a 12% levy. Rates are doubled if we find you are a patron somewhere else.

Why not bring along a Mother or a Mum or anyone that fulfils that role for you in your life to the #Museum today? Drop them off in one of our dull but worthy exhibition areas and they can have a nice nap. Then invest in an expensive cake - Halloween themed and may take time to defrost.

Stayed in bed late to try to avoid the Stonehenge/ clocks joke. Failed. #ClocksGoForward

Our bid for WHSmith was not accepted. And that’s a shame, because as a #Museum we are great at leveraging value from ever dwindling investment, patching up infrastructure and limping on. We were the obvious fit #WHsmith

This weekend our retro cafe will be serving everything grilled using our George Foreman Grill. Before there were air fryers - this was how we lived. #RIPGeorge

Very excited to be launching a new ticketing system this Good Friday! We will also be launching brand new exhibitions, a new scanning system and an AI driven rota system. All part of the busiest weekend of the year. Go us. #Museums

Not in ALVA’s visitor figure reports again. They’re obsessed with real, actual museums.

If you are planning a visit tomorrow please delay until after 1st April. We have reached our visitor targets, any further numbers will merely raise expectations for next year.

As we begin the Easter build-up we are proud to launch our special trail for lazy journalists Help ‘find’ the ‘lost’ items that only our collections and archives teams knew about based on careful cataloguing and storage! #Museums #Galleries #Collections #Archives Wear white gloves for free entry

These are also available second hand - because they really should come that way

Reviewing our income model as we limp into a bold new financial year … #Museums

We’ve unexpectedly had to pull this scheme. The budget was redirected to a vanity project elsewhere at short notice

Exciting times!! We are going completely label free from next month! As part of a fresh approach we will be de-interpreting the museum with our new exhibition #IntentionallyLeftBlank

Additional opportunities will be available at very short notice, random hours and once you’ve purchased your tickets contracts may / will change.

📢New Immersive Experience 📢 Be duty manager for a day! For just £250 a ticket we will - provide you with very limited training - issue a set of keys (some of which won’t open anything!) - train you to use a radio with patchy coverage. - provide you with insufficient staffing #Museums

Panic over… we’ve found conflicting reports of when we were founded so we can kick this into the long grass while we debate for a few months. We can go with any of these dates: - Thought up - Founded - Doors opened - Funding collapsed - coincidental fire - Doors reopened Updates to follow

Argh! When the Bored of Trustees have realised it’s your FIVE YEAR anniversary and you haven’t organised anything but you ought to organise something but you don’t have budget or capacity but now it’s a passion project and you’re going to be driven mad. #MOfPMadnessFiveYearsOn

How do you know if the #Museum issue you are dealing with should be handed to #Ops to manage. Remember the ‘triple T Test’ - is it tricky? - is it tedious? - is it terrifying? If you can say yes to any of those - hand it the Ops Manager immediately! #Operations #Heritage #Culture

Very excited to be attending the Association for Cultural Enterprises conference next week in Liverpool. If you see Geoff say hi! #Museums #Culture #Heritage

We already feel this sounds like by far the most accurate management simulation game of all time. Strongly expect the Trustees will spend 30 minutes on it and assume they can take over direct control.

This is amazing! Congratulations @pearceglen.bsky.social ! Anyone who works their way up through the Catering (Pork Scratchings) Sub-Committee and survived the famous ‘timeless trustee’ 13-day meeting deserves success

Finally - that simplified visitor journey we’ve all been hoping for. #Museums

We continue to review (but not update) our collections policy #Museums

This #WellbeingWednesday we are promoting our #Museum #RunningClub Museum poetry club isn’t up and running yet so it’s just doggerel at the minute.

Family Fun Sunday is cancelled today. Duty manager hadn’t realised this weekly event was happening this week.

Why not join us as we try to make it through the last month of the financial year without any money left? ‘People, peddles, power’ sees us team up with our new gym equipment sponsors to provide well-being activities and keep the lights on. #Museums

Our ongoing cost-saving initiative with the leisure centre has created a truly #Immersive #Museum #Experience

It’s always about getting the letters 100% correct #Musuems #Museums Great alternative to actual content

Deep analysis has led to our next investment to drive visitors! Look out for the large letters of our name outside the #Museum toilets for that perfect selfie! ‘M O f P’

All David’s what you ask? We’ve deliberately left that open to interpretation to add some spice to those admissions queue conversations

Free entry today for all David’s!

Our latest exhibition examines how tough it is to operate a #Museum - balancing the financial need against the desire for independent thought. ‘Penny for your remaining principles’ Sponsored by BP

Rolling out our visitor-led design workshop again today. Typically nobody from the visitor operations team has signed up for the 9.30 kick off time. What DO they do all day? #Museums #VisitorExperience

Enjoying. Not enduring. FFS #LearningOutcomes

Our retrospective of all our recent family fun activities begins next week! Dull but worthy - Where’s The Fun challenges families to complete 27 learning outcomes while enduring the exhibition. #Museums

Excited to launch our new exhibition! Previously Unseen A retrospective of our collection of invisible modern art - is a unique opportunity to enjoy our architect designed spaces (without the collection messing things up) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ‘at last’ - Architect ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ‘cheap to manage’ - Security #Museums

Love Oscar Wilde - he understood collections management. #Museums

Shania Twain’s been in again. Hate her Trip Advisor reviews. #Museums #Galleries

FFS! Family Fun Saturday is BACK And as it’s half term we’ve reintroduced the special strong coffee in the cafe. Ear defenders are available #Museums Don’t forget this is aimed at our audience segment - #Homework Hustlers